| Author |
Message |
imanewbie
Member of PUA Forum
Joined: 30 Aug 2007
Posts: 153
Reputation: 33.7  
|
 Posted: Sat Jul 26, 2008 5:50 am Post subject: Problem with sort of a girl friend |
 |
|
Oki this is going to be long I will try to keep it short.
Iīve met this girl 2 and a half months ago in a university party I ran all oki and fclosed in about a week. We ended up starting a routine of seeing each other on sundays, sometimes sex, some times no sex, this ran for about a month. I was not very serious about it cause we were doing finals at university and she seemed oki with the situation. Three weeks ago she invited me to a sunday with her and her best friend. We watched some shows, had dinner togheter and so on all was smooth. I tought oki im cool, the girl like me presented me to her best friend and the best friend liked me.
So she went to her mothers house in another city for a week, we chatted on internet, it was mutual and no stress had happened. So things got bad on friday I mentioned I went to a birthday party and she complained I didnt want to go party with her before (I was doing my finals university comes first) and seemed very upset, so I said that I was doing my finals but we could go out on the next weekend (this one).
I was not very concerned about that complaint, but then things got very bad, I phoned her thursday and asked if she wanted to eat something she said it was oki. Than changed mind like 30 min later saying she wanted to be alone. I got obviusly a bit upset just said her that it is not cool if you change your mind like 30 min after setting up something.
So she said she was not oki and all she wanted was to be alone. I asked what was wrong and if she wanted to talk. There things made a bit more of sense she said she was worried about joining a masters program and loosing the current scholarship, complained about some money issues. Then by no apparent reason she commented she had an abusive bf when she was 16~17 she is 23 now. (Seemed to have to dowith drugs) I havent interrogated her just made clear I was there for her if she wanted to say something. She said she had a fight with her mom and so on. She cried put it out and I thought it was oki. We ended the convo all right.
I said I was out to bed it was like 11:40 PM. At 3 AM I came back to internet to finish a piece of project and she met me online. She asked if all was oki and I said I had small things to solve. She asked what was the problem and I saidher to just donīt mind. She got very upset and said if I did not want to talk to her I shouldnt make her stay awake (she HAPPENED to be online), and stormed out.
I texted her saying that after the previous conversation the phase of these dramas was finished, focus in what is positive and dont create a storm about it.
Ive decided to donīt call her since it could seem needy. But at night I sent a hi via MSN, no answer, im not blocked nor anything just no reply.
So now I donīt know if I call and she does not answer I have a big problem cause it is over I will enter the end zone, if I donīt try any contact she will use this to say Ive dropped her and didnīt care about her. What do you suggest folks?
Thanks forthe patience.
Important I call it sort of a girl friend cause
1š I had no chance to ask she as a gf
2š She has some problems concerning time and commitment, like forgets of things she scheduled. |
|
| Back to top |
|
 |
|
Infamous110
PUA Forum Zealot
Joined: 03 Jun 2008
Posts: 374
Location: South West, UK
Reputation: 45.2
votes: 6
|
| Posted: Sun Jul 27, 2008 2:44 am Post subject: |
|
|
| imanewbie wrote: | Oki this is going to be long I will try to keep it short.
|
Funny
Are you looking for a benefits type relationship or do you want to commit to her? Because you said you haven't asked her I assume you mean that you want to.
The problem is - relationships can get bogged down with these kind of things. You and her could end up with more emotional baggage just as a result of you trying to help her. At the same time you want to be close to her so you may need to be a shoulder to cry on. Afterall you're passed the seduction ect.
One thing I picked up on - has she met with your friends? Do you want her to? I think her being upset about you not partying with her was fishing for an invite. Girls actually get quite upset if you completely keep your social and sexual relationships seperate.
Too much drama - cancelling 30 minutes later is way better than cancelling 30 minutes before set "date". Don't create the drama here, don't get upset about it. It's not a big deal!
I suggest you call her and see whether she's okay - there's nothing needy about that. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
imanewbie
Member of PUA Forum
Joined: 30 Aug 2007
Posts: 153
Reputation: 33.7
|
| Posted: Sun Jul 27, 2008 9:13 am Post subject: |
|
|
| Infamous110 wrote: | | imanewbie wrote: | Oki this is going to be long I will try to keep it short.
|
Funny
Are you looking for a benefits type relationship or do you want to commit to her? Because you said you haven't asked her I assume you mean that you want to.
The problem is - relationships can get bogged down with these kind of things. You and her could end up with more emotional baggage just as a result of you trying to help her. At the same time you want to be close to her so you may need to be a shoulder to cry on. Afterall you're passed the seduction ect.
One thing I picked up on - has she met with your friends? Do you want her to? I think her being upset about you not partying with her was fishing for an invite. Girls actually get quite upset if you completely keep your social and sexual relationships seperate.
Too much drama - cancelling 30 minutes later is way better than cancelling 30 minutes before set "date". Don't create the drama here, don't get upset about it. It's not a big deal!
I suggest you call her and see whether she's okay - there's nothing needy about that. |
Ive invited her to a wedding this week she did not want to go. I would like to commit her. Her best friend really likes me . She said she would give me support and we became friends to so I have this as a point. She didnt want to meet my friends but again I had a program with her and her best friend so I think this is not the main deal. I do want her to meet my friends. But man I do computer science end of semester is hard, no one parties and even I had no chance to meet my friends out of class. If she wanted to meet my crew she should have came to the wedding. She is damm unstable emotionally but a good person with positive points:
she is inteliggent, sincere most of time and stands for what she believes ive told her so.
But i cant wait for someone whose absence is my companion. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
tynacorp
New to PUA Forum
Joined: 18 Jun 2008
Posts: 27
Reputation: 6.3
|
| Posted: Thu Jul 31, 2008 10:59 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| Sounds like it is only going to get worse. Find a new chick when you have time and eject. But the longer you stay with this girl the more needy she is going to be. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
imanewbie
Member of PUA Forum
Joined: 30 Aug 2007
Posts: 153
Reputation: 33.7
|
| Posted: Fri Aug 01, 2008 2:07 am Post subject: |
|
|
| tynacorp wrote: | | Sounds like it is only going to get worse. Find a new chick when you have time and eject. But the longer you stay with this girl the more needy she is going to be. |
We made peace again, went to movies, well all seems to be oki now. Im not very stressed about it, I do like her, she has some issues but dunno time will tell me when to eject or if she can make small adjustments. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
