I am 20. I have no hobbies and nothing for people to say i'm great at. Im short not so good at sports. I do go to the gym 3 times a week and that's it! I consider my life to be boring. I need a passion but I don't know what. I have tried everything but nothing clicks to me. I need help building a attractive lifestyle!

You just need to get out there and KEEP trying new things! Meet new people and FORCE yourself to start enjoying new things. If you cannot see things as enjoyable, just consider the benefits that you will get out of trying different things.

You are your own worst enemy!

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I assume that you have some people in your life that you look up to or think are cool. If you know any naturals they are probably who I am talking about. If you cannot find a passion of your own choose to try new things until you do. Look at these 'cool' role models in your life. What do they do that both shows value and is conducive to a healthy lifestyle.

Be realistic. If I had to give you some suggestions to build an attractive lifestyle here are my personal three:
1. Write comedy and go to an open mic.
Even if you suck it builds confidence and gives you talking points at parties, ask for advice.
2. Learn to dance, salsa or club style
The people who tend to go are diverse so you can build a circle of attractive, varied people as friends like Damien Hirst does.
3. Learn a martial art
Confidence will follow especially if someone Amogs you (hope i used that word correctly), you won't be so easily put on to the backfoot. My best friends I met at competitions and clubs.


Good Luck.

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Read, deduce, sarge.

Having 'a' passion and being great at something can help of course. But being really good at something isn't going to be enough really. I mean, unless you're so good that you're earning millions from it, at the end of the day who cares? Yeah you're good at playing guitar or you're good at a sport, or you're passionate and knowledgable about a certain topic, but if the rest of your life is boring so what?

It's far better to have a passion for fun and trying new things. If you were a woman, who would you rather be dating; someone who is a pretty good guitarist whose gigs you can go to once a fortnight, but then you sit around bored the other 13 days out of 14; or someone who takes you to a different place or to try out a different skill or see something new 10 days out of 14?

It doesn't even need to be expensive or even particularly adventurous. Just little things like going to a coffee shop, or a newly opened restaurant, or to see a different type of film, or even going for a walk if that's something you don't normally do can lead to more excitement and interest than just sitting around. Obviously, if you've got the time and money to do some really cool stuff like a weekend trip to a different country or something then even better! But just having a good group of friends who you can go out with a couple of days a week and have a laugh with, and trying out a few new places every now and then is going to give you a more attractive lifestyle than most average joes.

When I was at uni, I was constantly surrounded by all these middle class dweebs doing stuff I had absolutely no interest in whatsoever. I kept asking myself, why don't I fit in? Why don't I enjoy these clubs and societies?

The truth was I had lots of things I was interested in the whole time. I just had to be honest with myself - these things are NOT the same things that everyone else likes. I learnt to accept my GENUINE interests and I also learned to focus on JUST THREE interests that I knew I particularly enjoyed and that I would be willing to spend a lot of time on.

A good rule of thumb is, spend most of your time on those three, but don't neglect other stuff either. Just be flexible the way you go about your life, and use your spare time to explore things that you think aren't your cup of tea but might turn out to be more interesting than you expect.

I play guitar, piano, drums, bass and I sing at a pretty high level. I have performed in front of thousands of people on festivals and had about 500 gigs before my band broke up. Nowadays I write music as a volunteer to amateur bands.

It isnt only about liking something, exactly as this was said. If you like something invest time into it, so you can passionately talk about whatever interests you. Like JHA91 said, you only need 3 things you like. For me that is being a musician, having my own business whilst studying and windsurfing.

The last one of these three is easy and great btw. Gets you in shape rather quickly and it gives quite an adrenaline boost. Even if you play video games (to a certain extent) that is acceptable, because more than half the guys like those anyway. If you play too many video games you should join a sports club and join others you get to know there on their hobbies. Dont be afraid to experiment.

Even if you do not know what to talk about next, just make a silly joke saying you like long walks on the beach, sleeping in on a sunday and driving off into the sunset.

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--- MiDu

I'm wondering about this as well. I have hobbies that I love.. Hockey, Writing and Drumming. I'm also really good at all three of those things.

However, none of those things really put me in a situation where I am going out to meet new people nor are they getting me to meet new women.

I'm going to take up Yoga. That's for sure. Might do some cooking classes as well.. but what else is there to do that's social, usually has a lot of women around, and gets you out of the house?

Serious? No girls going to hockey matches or battle of the bands?

I'm not challenging you on that assertion by the way, just asking. I remember when I was an orchestral percussionist there were quite a few cute girls in my orchestra but I left it too long to approach, so by that time this wasn't a hobby getting me girls either! On the other hand, it's 100% possible I was making excuses for myself and this is what you have to ask yourself: sure you couldn't chat up that super hot girl in lectures that likes hockey too?

I suppose you have to just analyse where your choices in life are taking you, but really and truly it's not about whether those things are getting you results in other areas. This is what is important and what makes you attractive. Then you look for OTHER avenues. This could be an indirect social networking approach or it could be direct approaches. Point is, when you talk to girls they can tell you live an interesting lifestyle because you ARE interesting: you have interesting things to TALK about and you LOOK and FEEL CONFIDENT.
Yoga is phenomenal for posture, breathing and relaxation and hence excellent for self-confidence and projecting your personality through your own aura. I love yoga. As for cooking, I should probably put more emphasis into that myself - I've heard women aren't too keen on these guys that are just looking for housewives!

The girls that go to the hockey games that I play are usually just girlfriends of guys who play. The rare time I'm there while the women's league is playing but I haven't really found a time to approach when people just rush to the dressing rooms. Girls with hockey asses in yoga pants are tempting though.

I play drums but no band right now. Am working on something with a buddy of mine. I don't orchestral drumming since they'll make me play timpani's and xylophones and shit (which I'm just a rock/progressive rock/post-rock drummer). Hopefully I can get something going though, meeting girls at shows I play, with an interest in the same type of music, would be a perfect avenue to meet someone.

I do live an interesting lifestyle with a multitude of talents. It's just trying to find how to parlay them into actually connecting with new social circles, finding places where there are a lot of women. That's why I'm wondering if there's anything other than Yoga/Cooking classes that is on trend lately where an abundance of women can be found?

Sure, I know how it is no worries. I was just pointing out sometimes you have to think a little logistically but it seems you already are.
The percussion thing was just me trying to relate my own experiences to yours. I could be talking about how I failed to talk to girls at comedy improv or something.

But yeah, again good in general to think logistically (i.e. in terms of events, locations and meet-ups you're going to that might have women) and creatively (in terms of MAKING those opportunities happen).
It's tricky, I know. I struggle with it too. I personally think that it's when social networking isn't going to plan that it's time to work on your cold approaches. Maybe hook up with a wing and go hit the clubs. Otherwise day game can also work.