Been together with current gf for 5 months. Today she was havin a tough day at work and I was being nice to her all day. I've actually been extra kind to her all week because she's going through some stuff.

Anyway, we were texting and she says she did the laundry and cleaned. I reply "Thank you", she's replies back "for what?". In my mind, I'm like are you serious... I'm not going to answer that question (she always does this stupíd chit, when its obvious what I mean).

So I tell her "Nevermind, forget it", here's where she got pissed I guess and told me to "piss off" and called me an "idiot". Those were the actual words.

I never take shit from her and this is the first time she dared to call me names. I quickly told her to "piss off" out of my life and I don't need her. Then I just ignored her.

She kept texting me constantly, crying, apologising, wanting to talk. Eventually I just facetimed her for 15 minutes and didn't really say much except for that she made a mistake talking to me like that. Then later she says she's going to see a shrink to deal with her problems.

I should've mentioned she's really insecure and she thinks she has borderline syndrome or whatever it's called. I said "oke" and haven't replied anymore, I'm just sick of it.

How did I handle this, and where do I go from here?

Firstly, from a humor perspective, it's not an obvious joke and it would be pretty confusing for most people. I can see what you're going for, but typically it goes like this:

Girl:"I'm ABOUT to do laundry"
You: "Thanks...I'll drop my clothes off later, you're so sweet to me "

See, you dont make this type of joke for when she says she ALREADY did HER laundry and cleaned. It's not ambigious enough that you can pretend like you took it to mean something else jokingly. So it was a bad non obvious joke, and you couldve elaborated or roleplayed when she was confused so she would get it. But I cant blame her there, especially over text. When someone doesnt get a weird joke, just play it up so they get it. No need to act butt hurt when she doesnt get it.

Anyways, she was rude for calling you and idiot. You say this is the first time she's disrespected you, but you say you never take her shit and you sick of the shit. So even THAT is confusing because is this the first time or one too many times?! Anyways, if she is constantly rude to you then walk away. She was rude, probably crazy as you say, but your response was extreme. If you dont want to be with her walk away.

^ This is the reason you were met with the disrespect in the first place. This may be tough for some to understand, but a girl doesn't necessarily want you to be all gentle with her because of her situation. She likes you for the guy that you are, not for the guy you become as a reaction to her life.

I won't get into the full details of how you handled it, but it seems like it whipped her back into shape - although it was a bit much and not the way I would handle it. I just wouldn't respond at all. I don't respond to disrespect. I'd let her come to apologize on her own.

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lol neo what are you talking about dude. he wasn't making a joke. she cleaned and he just said thanks and she tried him. this is what i mean when i say that you take a weird interpretation of what someone says and run wild. where does OP say he was trying to make a joke? he simply thanked her for doing the laundry and she pretended like she didn't know why he was thanking her.

OP you played it perfectly hence her freaking out and apologizing and saying she was wrong. this is exactly why i say freeze-outs work in relationships. because they fucking do and here's yet another example. you showed you won't tolerate her disrespecting you and i guarantee you she will like you more because of it and behave better. well done.

at this point when she hits you back up just say don't talk to me like that again, then immediately be light and carry on as though you are over it and. don't "talk it out" or anything. just resume and don't act butthurt or hold the grudge. start teasing her again, start flirting and be happy.

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You must be overconfident and cocksure, even if you haven't got a god damn thing in the world going for you. And you must fail with women until you do not fear the possibility of failure, whereupon you will succeed wildly.

Lol Chantos...see this is why you should read and think, before you post...Instead of reading and throwing X theory at it. But hey, since what I say is based off of logic I'll break down my assumptions.

First, OP has never mentioned they live together. They've been together for FIVE months. Never mentioned living together, or seeing her when he went home. So it's a pretty good assumption that they DON'T live together. And if they do, OP omitted that and the way it's presented would not make someone think these 2 people who text and facetimed with no mention of how to handle it later that night when they have to see each other if they live together, would not make someone think these 2 live together. So I assume they don't. So if OP is NOT making a joke, and is just thanking her for doing HER laundry and cleaning HER place...how does that make sense? Do you thank your girl when she says she cooked her own dinner? Do you say thanks when she said she did her taxes? So if it wasnt a joke, its a weird ass thing to say. Maybe you can confirm that.

Also, again..please think before you write stuff. Freeze outs work. That was never debated. Just that they tend to work on crazy low self esteem chicks and make a relationship worse. Mainly because you're with a crazy chick that it would work on, and also because it sets up a bad dynamic.
Thesis proved. So all you're doing is supporting that freeze outs are effective with already messed up chicks and will keep you in a relationship that you have to say, you're "sick of." Wtf. So basically you think that it's so crazy to think OP was joking, from the way it was written and facts presented, and you think that a borderline personality disorder chick chasing you when you hang the phone up, is proof that this path leads to quality women. Hmmm... It's like you dont think through what you're saying. Lol. You're like the one other guy in the other thread who was saying freeze outs work on quality women, they work on his gf, then come to find out his gf is blatantly cheating on him and he's embarassed. So far, we have freeze outs working on girls who cheat, and girls who have borderline disorder. Maybe that would be a clue to step back and say "hmm...maybe these kinda games attract messed up chicks" Or at least, dont use a borderline pyscho chick as evidence for your conclusion. So basically, from your advice, good job OP with the freeze out. The borderline chick who calls you and idiot over saying "nevermind" to a joke, a weird statement if you dont live with her, or a normal statement if you do and you just left details out, that chick is quality. Freeze her out, have her chase, and continue to be stuck with a chick who is insecure, neurotic, and who's gonna call you and idiot if you text her nevermind one day. And this must be the first and only time, despite you writing you're sick of her shit, implying to someone with a thinking mind, that there's shit you're tired of and this was the last straw. Do as chantos said, freeze out and get back with the psycho. Freeze outs work. And these chicks sound like great chicks to be in relationships in.

So Chantos, are you gonna say, ok your assumptions on the joke make sense, or are you going to say why they were wrong so I can learn to think differently? Maybe I missed something. And please tell me, how this supports freeze outs working on quality chicks? Because I've said they work on chicks. Heck, beating some chicks gets them more into you. But I've always distinguished between dating the crazies and regular chicks. I would never say "smelling dirty gets chicks to chase" and then support that with an example of a fat disgusting girl chasing someone who smelled. That's what you did. You used a post about a nutty chick who has a lot of shit, to support freeze outs.

PS- Props if you can even respond to this because the logic was killer. Just want you to THINK through shit first.

Hmm I'm gonna bite the bullet and say either they do live together or she did his laundry because that's a really, really weird misuse of the joke otherwise. Seems more rational to assume they live together or she was actually doing his laundry than to assume he is that incapable of knowing when to use this joke. Supporting my view is also the fact that OP gets upset when she responds. If it's that horrific of a joke and she responds asking what he means then it's ridiculous for him to suddenly get pissed off about it and complain "she always does this stupid chit when it's obvious what i mean." That makes much less sense than her simply getting an attitude when he thanks her for doing his laundry and cleaning for him. Particularly since she's having a rough week and went even further by calling him an idiot. Agree? Again there's no proof that this was a joke. Why not clarify first before assuming?
I disagree with the assumption that the girl needs to be crazy for a freeze out to work. All girls have bad weeks. All girls get out of line now and then. It doesn't set up a bad dynamic to withhold your affection and remove your presence when a girl directly insults you. It's completely logical, in fact. What is illogical is assuming that men and women have the same responses to problems, and that what works between men (working logically through a problem) will work for a relationship issue between a man and a woman. Non-verbal communication is so much more effective and creates such a clearer dynamic than incessant verbal communication. Try it and see for yourself.
Your thesis does not address my argument that freeze outs work on women other than crazy women. My gfs are not crazy. Sometimes they cross the line. When they do, I ignore them. It lets them calm down and think about what they've done. It shows they don't get to interact with me if they're going to cross the line. Somehow this makes me an idiot and them crazy as fuck? Two guys on a PUA forum say they freeze out girls and suddenly freeze outs only work on complete psychopaths and cheaters? Huh? I'm not sure you've had that much relationship or dating experience. I can't tell. You're definitely not a pick up artist which is fine, but what's your background? How many LTR's have you been in? Are you currently in a LTR? Do you read about attraction theory and relationship theory? If so, who? I want to know why you think the way you do. We agree on a lot of things but I completely disagree with what you're saying here. You seem like a guy who has had 2-3 girlfriends, each for many years at a time, and is currently single. You also seem a bit "blue pill," a phrase coined by guys who know a shitload more than both of us about women and relationship theory.

What is your solution if you're in OP's exact situation? If the girl has some sort of disorder, that is an issue of preselection, not an issue of whether OP in this exact situation did the right thing when being disrespected. What is he supposed to do? He did exactly the right thing and she immediately realized she was being an asshole and apologized. He got the best possible outcome given the circumstances. He did not say he was sorry and justify her actions. He maintained leadership and control of the scenario. He didn't explode or get violent with her. He did everything right. What more do you want from the guy? Do you seriously have to bash his gf like that, calling her a psycho? Again you seem to not have much experience man.

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You must be overconfident and cocksure, even if you haven't got a god damn thing in the world going for you. And you must fail with women until you do not fear the possibility of failure, whereupon you will succeed wildly.

Again, OP never said they lived together. OP never mentioned any complications with living together that would arise when he got home. They've been dating for 5 months. If they ARE living together, you would think these things would be in here. And as to clarifying, didnt you come at me saying i was wrong immediately, instead of saying well OP hasnt mentioned they live together, so neo could be right? Did you try to clarify how I came to my conclusion? No. See Chantos, this is what I mean by you're not thinking...because if you were you wont have asked why I didnt clarify something, when you didnt. You're assuming since he was upset, they MUST live together. I'm assuming as he hasnt done the sensical thing and stated that they live together, or mentioned any complications that are coming when he goes HOME, that they dont. As I've said, OP is already all over the place; he says this was the first time, yet says he cant stand this shit anymore. So you really cant just use the logic of well he was upset so they MUST live together.
Sigh...again, you're not putting thought into things. I say you just have theory, you ask me what theories I follow?! I'm sorry man, life and looking out for my happiness is my theory. Not playing games is my theory. See, one thing you'll learn is most of the PU stuff/relationship stuff is by weird guys selling you something. It's meant so you read and study a whole bunch of shit to get girls who when you say Thanks, they pretend to be confused to fuck with you. Sorry, tbh, I have NEVER EVER known a girl who acted like she didnt know something as simple as Thanks, to fuck with me. And if I met one and she did, I'd think she was retarded. See, you follow that shit to think these things are NORMAL. They're not. These "tests" are just symptoms of bipolarism. This is normal to you?! This is a girl you should tactics to get back?! Sorry, I just dont deal with these types of women.

And to further show how you arent thinking, what is good experience with relationships? Having 2-3 long ones, or having 15 short ones that didnt work out? Because if I had 2-3 long ones, I'd be good at relationships, but only have a limited experience. And if I had 10-15 short ones, I'd be bad at relationships. So is it better experience wise to be in a few long relationships, or a lot of short ones that failed? Hmm...see this is when you think before you make a point.

You need to step away from the whole blue pill thing and theories. Its that kinda stuff that makes you believe that a chick snapping at you for nvm, and then crying to you is normal and something you need to hang on to.
Never said OP responded badly. Where are you getting that. Who has more experience dude, the guy saying this behavior isnt normal, or the guy saying it is? What could your options be if you would tell someone to maintain leadership with a borderline personality girl, who evidently pulls shit on the OP all the time, or the guy telling him there are other girls? See, you're showing what's important to you, her interest over your happiness. Lol, do you really think a chick who snaps at a Nevermind, is gonna settle down? That things are gonna stop being shitty? That since she cant control herself over a nvm, she's gonna learn something here?

I see the theory seeping out of your words, and I know that the girls that I dated when I believed that bs that would even come close to saying piss off over a nevermind, were crazy or mentally messed up. You talk about PUA forum and pickup artist...would a pickup artist choose this kinda relationship? Would a PUA go through "shit" with a girl more than once? 5 Months, and "shit" means walk. Yes, a freeze out will work and make her chase. But then be prepared for more shit. You're telling the dude, carry on, to get back in the shit.
If problems are arising so much that it's either incessant communication (verbal) or non verbal communication...guess what...doesnt sound like a fun relationship. You talk like girls are just these crazy creatures that it takes effort or punishment or withholding attention, for simple human fucking decency. Why the fuck would you or me or anyone be with a girl who finds it difficult for her naturally not to insult you? I swear, when you talk about freeze outs like they're needed, is like someone telling me you need to buy a gun so when you go to X bar, when they start shooting you can shoot back. And my first thought is, wtf would I go to a bar like that?! That's not normal!!

You guys seriously wife girls who insult you?! Who you have to worry about being insulted? And meanwhile, some "pill" dude tells you to expect this shit so you can stay unhappy with chicks that cant naturally dont respect you and who are that emotional.

Sorry I should have mentioned that she's temporarily living at my place. I'm abroad for studies and will be back in 3 weeks, she just moved in at my place this week because she moved here for a job and needs somewhere to stay in the meanwhile. We've never lived together though for a long period.
This is exactly what i did^.


@neo; the "Thank you" wasn't a joke, I was just thanking her for cleaning etc. and then she replied with "For what?" at which I said "Nevermind, forget it" then she got pissed and told me to piss off.

Should I just have responded with "For cleaning the place" ?

This has happened many times before that I thank her for something and that she says "For what?" By saying "For what?" she means that I shouldn't be thanking her for this. But this phrase just annoys me so much now and I know she knows why I'm thanking her so it just annoys me she plays stupid.

/rant
Yeah this is the first time she called me names and told me to piss off. But what I mean with never taking shit from her is that I never let things pass when I don't like them. If something bothers me I confront the situation right away and I'm usually harsh when she does something wrong.

good job OP.

neo if you're going to spout off shit about logic then understand how to apply it. the reason why i was correct and you weren't was simply because i made the more logical assumption given the circumstances.

as far as relationships and dating and women go i'd recommend you start reading heartiste's shit asap... see you around bud.

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You must be overconfident and cocksure, even if you haven't got a god damn thing in the world going for you. And you must fail with women until you do not fear the possibility of failure, whereupon you will succeed wildly.

You made the assumption based on the fact that the OP was upset. On a forum where bfs come here upset all the time about stuff they shouldnt be. My bad for assuming that since he didnt mention they live together, and it would be too soon for a 5 mth rs, and he didnt mention going home to her, that they did not live together. Again, I didnt come down on OP for whether it was a joke or not and that was a small part of my post. I told him if he is not happy then leave. Obviously you cant back your theories on freeze outs which I understand, when questioned your theories never hold up. I wont start reading material if it leads guys like you to saying play games to make a bordeline personality girl chase you, and really make you feel like you're in some control of a relationship with an unstable chick. That's not me. And if a chick told me after 5 mths she has to go seek counseling for how she treats you, well...there are more girls out there to play that game. But hey, I encourage you and any other guy who wants to read your material to freeze out unstable chicks, have them beg you back and then hope the therapy works. If heartiste's material says insults and freezeouts and therapy is normal after 5 months, that's your thing. You cant tell a homeless person that he shouldnt be eating out of dumpsters.

To borz, I wont give you theory, I'll give you practical advice. With the thank you thing, they girl is not acting stupid really or trying to fuck with you as chantos and his material suggest. She's telling you "for what" to say that you dont need to thank her. It's a sweet thing, and if it annoys you, try looking at it for what it is. She's just saying she cares about you. If it annoys you because you're just polite like that, just tell her, even though you know she doesnt need a thanks, you'll still say it, she doesnt need to say for what, she can just move on and appreciate your thanks.

As to the freeze out, this kinda stuff works well on insecure girls like your gf. ESPECIALLY when they are living at your place. She's insecure so abandoning her, especially when she needs you for a place will cause her to come running and crying back. But guess what? If she doesnt respect you, she will just disrespect you in other ways. In fact, what's missed with this whole freeze out thing is when you punish someone, and they lose some kinda power, which she did, they're gonna be resentful at that. Think of it this way. Lets say you had fucked up, did something wrong and she froze you out, you begged, made it up to her and got her back. Would you not eventually want to show her you dont need her after feeling like a bitch? See this kinda stuff gets short term solutions and cause negative dynamics. You may think well she was hurt so she's gonna try her best not to disrespect me; she thinks I was so hurt, I dont want to be hurt by him again, how can I protect myself emotionally from getting dumped? So she starts distancing, looking for other options and then 3 mths down the line you're dumped because she's moved on.

I dont know what this wrong stuff she does is, or whatever else, but I'd say whether she's chasing you or not, ask yourself whether you're having to change someone to be with them. Because as harsh as you may be, if she doesnt respect you, you dont get that through telling her its over and then going back. In fact, all she sees when the dust settles is you still stuck around.If the chick has to go to a shrink for her issues, 5 months in... and possibly you're going back home...this ends one way. You know what a shrink does? When she goes, tells her stories of you and her and the issues, she'll just minimize what she does, and when the shrink hears of the "harshness" you give her, the shrink affirms for her that it's not her, it's you. Then it becomes easier for her to not work on her shit, because insecure people dont really admit they're the problem. Just some things to consider. If you stay with her, realize if she has issues, you have to adjust if you want it to work, because she won't.

Thanks so much for your advice man, I really appreciate it. Especially the bolded part. You say some stuff which makes me think and I'll need to think about this whole situation when I get back. Right now I'm not at home so I'm not going to make any decisions yet. I want to talk to her first.

bro WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT. she is BEING A SARCASTIC JACKASS when she says "for what." that's the entire issue. do you not fucking realize you totally misread OP's entire situation and now have the fucking audacity to tell him what she is thinking? do you not realize you are doing the exact same fucking thing again? what is going through your mind when you tell him she's being sweet? where is the fucking evidence for that? it is the EXACT same fucking mistake you just made.

if you want to remain an ignorant know-it-all prick that's fine with me, don't read, don't better yourself... but don't fucking come into threads like this shooting from the hip and thinking you have the slightest clue of what you're talking about when you can't even make a simple deduction and when your mind leaps wildly between irrational conclusions.

OP, here is practical advice: do not do anything differently than what you just did. do not explain why you said thank you or break everything down. that is not the optimal way to resolve a conflict between a man and a woman. that is the optimal way to resolve a conflict between men. neo is ultimately right when he says the choice is yours as to whether you want to be with someone like her who perhaps has mental issues, and she most likely won't change. but you are doing everything right. women respond well to calm, focused strength from men not listening to them break every little fucking argument down. i am telling you this as someone who has been on both sides of this coin numerous times. neo has not.

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You must be overconfident and cocksure, even if you haven't got a god damn thing in the world going for you. And you must fail with women until you do not fear the possibility of failure, whereupon you will succeed wildly.

From OP's words:
Now I dont know how she is asking him "For what" after doing something for the OP, to be bitter, cynical and all that. OP even said she is telling him he shouldnt be thanking her for this. This is her being a jackass because she is saying no big deal? What kinda fucked up rs are you getting in where a girl acting like something is not a big deal and telling you you dont need to thank her is her trying to fuck with you or her being a sarcastic jackass to you. If a girl is doing something nice to you, and a simple thanks makes her try to fuck with you or be sarcastic, this is a chick you want to tell the OP to strategize to get her to chase? So a girl telling you you dont need to thank her is her being a jackass? So she's saying, from OP's own words, that he doesnt need to thank her...this is what you see as her being a jackass? I guess this is why when a girl asks a guy what he does for a living in PU now it's a shit test. Lol. I know coworkers and friends who tell me not to thank them for stuff, never realized this was some jackass thing. I have friends who may tell me "let's go out, drinks on me", we go out to get drinks or food or something, and when the check comes I reach for my wallet and they say "What are you reaching for your wallet for?" I smile, put my wallet away and realize they're being nice. Fuck, more dating theory would tell me that this is them being assholes! Lol, heck, I've asked friends, coworkers, gfs, dates, "For what" or "Why are you reaching for your wallet" when I'm doing something nice for them, they smile and it's just a nice thing. Heck, my own parents have asked me "for what"...I didnt think they were fucking with me.
I need to read some heartiste stuff to see people doing nice stuff for me and and not needing a thanks as some kinda game they're playing.

Her telling you you dont need to thank her is cool. Her words when you said nvm forget it were rude. That's the response that was wrong. But I cant say someone telling you dont worry abt it is some violation.


OP, if your girl is being a sarcastic jackass when she says "For what" as chantos says, if she is not really telling you that you dont need to thank her, if she is doing it to be sarcastic or to be bitter and cutting, then run. Even if you take Chantos twisted views of girls fucking with you after they've done something nice and you say thanks...then disregard his advice to freeze her out for this anyway. Man...relationships and life should not be this difficult. Where a chick cleans your place and you say a simple thanks she says so what to fuck with you.... Jeez shit shouldnt be bitter over a thanks. I wouldnt want a chick who is sarcastic with me when I say thanks. Sure, a chick who is telling me I dont need to say thanks is cool, if she is trying to fuck with me when I say thanks...man....that's too much over nothing. And if she is turning jackass constantly over a simple thanks....life is too short to be with someone like this, whether she is chasing you or not. Chantos would tell you to freeze out a chick who is making simple shit complicated. I'm telling you that if you have a girl who is constantly trying to fuck with you like this, run. Relationships have problems. But they should never be that the girl you're with tries to fuck with you. And punishing that and breaking up to make up just keeps you with someone unstable who is ready to fuck with you over a "Thanks". Maybe I do need to read more because this is evidently something that is normal in relationships. I'm sorry chantos and I are different. I dont think the person you're with should be trying to fuck with you, especially over a thank you.

Lol It's like chantos is saying "no..the chick wasn't being nice sometimes...the chick is always a sarcastic jackass...good job on using tactics to get her to chase"