I have a FWB who pretty much uses me for a place to crash when she doesn’t want to drive in heavy traffic. Tonight she decided that she was going to show me her POF account and what women go through on this site. She is a quality girl, so basically most guys would probably take a moment to check her out if they saw her picture pop up on their screen.
Here’s what I’ve observed:
1. She had 115 unread messages from about 8:00am until about 7:30pm.
2. Most of the messages simply said “Hello” or “How are you doing today?”
3. Most of the messages used pet names such as “Sexy”, “Beautiful”, “Baby”.
4. If the message didn’t fit #2, it would be a statement like “You’re hot”.
5. She was logged in for 10 minutes and about 30 messages came in just because they saw that she was online.
What I’ve learned:
1. Women get tons of email and they may not respond just because they have too much to sift through. Don’t get upset when they don’t respond. Don’t send messages asking them why they don’t respond.
2. They hate responding to the same questions over and over again.
3. They like being called “Sexy” or “Beautiful” when it’s used as an adjective and not a noun. So it’s okay to say that “you are beautiful” because that’s a compliment. But “Hey, Beautiful” may come across too familiar and it makes them uncomfortable in a first time email.
4. While the compliments are okay, don’t just make the statement and leave it at that. You have to attempt to start a real conversation.
5. Her profile basically has four pictures and two sentences describing her, but she will pass on a guy if he doesn’t say enough about himself. What makes it worse is that she would compliment the guys that she passes on.

Part of me is cool knowing that most guys are terrible at online dating because I won't lose my FWB. But seeing a woman's email is really eye opening.

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mpuaforum.proboards.com

Fuckin a. I'd be curious to know what kind of messages really catch her eye or blow her away.

Disclaimer: I'm a woman, so if you disregard female opinions by default, I'd be thankful if you skip this.
I will tell you. The following characteristics make for a great PM.

1. First and foremost, non-generic.
Messages have to imply you have actually read her profile and what she says about herself. They have to be custom tailored. "Hey, sexy", "Hey, beautiful woman" can be sent to anyone. It implies nothing.


2. SHORT. 7-8 sentences is enough. Walls of text intimidate, scream "Too hard!", and are very boring to read.

3. Funny. Self explanatory.

4. Sexy. Not everything sexual is sexy. Describing your dick in any terms is not hot. (I've received messages like this). Sex must be implied, but not directly on the table.

I will give you examples of great messages I've received in an online forum (not this one).

I have shared in the forum that I love cold tea, study health sciences, enjoy Disney, I have vast knowledge in toxicology, botany, oncopharmacology. I had a rabbit and it was a running joke in the forum how all forum members wanted it to end up on their plates.

Best messages I have received. All of them I have replied to, went out to meet, and one lead to marriage.

I. Two fucking sentences. Nailed it.

"Helloooo, Nurse! Oops, wrong studio. "

Why is it great: Non-generic. It says "I know you are involved in healthcare. And I know you are a fan of Disney, not Warner. I've read the information you've given." Short, funny. And sexy (Animaniacs were notorious for bringing crap under the radar, and "Hello, Nurse" was a prime example. Sex is on the radar, but it's not dropped like a bomb on my head). Bonus: A hidden compliment. Hello, Nurse's shtick was being sexy.

II. "Um... ChickChoc? I just dropped in to say I'm very, very happy to be on your good side. "
Why is it great: Non-generic. "I know you are interested in toxicology". Short, funny. And, at least to me, sexy. Evil women are hot. Bonus: hidden compliment "I believe you really are good at what you study."

III. This one had me in stitches:
"I'll be short and brief. You're not a science to me; you're a religion. I'm a baptized Chickchocian, swimming in rivers of cold tea. Unlike other men, I'm not just after your rabbit. I want to experience your unlimited intelligence. I know you are curly; that all I can say on the subject of Chickchocology... If you are OK with having a totally meaningless chat, we can meet on a shot of Propofol."
Why is it great: Should I really explain?

IV. After my brief, public flirt with one of the female members of the forum, which she replied very positively to, I received the following message:

"Wow, ChickChoc, congratulations for your victory. I can stand to fight any man for a lady, but against a woman, I stand no chance. Please, use your power for good. May the Force be with you."

That's awesome, Chickchoc.

As soon as I started reading this thread and read all the things that are typical in a girl's inbox, in my head I was going, "Check, knew that. Check, knew that too. Check--" and so on. Nothing there I didn't know. I always leave out all the generic pet names (corny to me) and try to be unique.

However, I always felt (and still feel) I'm missing something. Sometimes I either "try" to be funny and it just doesn't work, or think so hard to be funny that I come up with something I think is hilarious but in hindsight, was not.

Point being, every time I read a well-written opinion from someone like chickchoc I feel enlightened and see a few details I'm either slacking on or just plainly didn't know.

It'd be awesome if a girl could actually put all that into theory and just teach it. That'd be fun. And it's not even so you can have a parade of girls lining out your door, that's not really my style. I just enjoy the company of girls and talking to them. I'm just addicted to witty banter and harmless flirting.

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Make him obsess over you, have her crave you—a relationship built to last.

Women get tons of messages and statistically most of them are bad. Why is this news?