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kiwi-indian
PUA Forum Enthusiast
Joined: 29 Feb 2008
Posts: 95
Reputation: 13  
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 Posted: Sat Mar 08, 2008 10:45 pm Post subject: Ok I blew it with a girl I number closed - need advice |
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A couple of days ago I number closed this girl with what I thought was a very good routine. I approached, chatted, negged and number closed in like 3 - 5 minutes tops.
Yesterday I texted her and asked how she was. I negged her by saying whether she had overcome her shock of being asked out by a guy looking for bags. She replied with she was at the horse races and that she was more surprised by a guy asking her out after just 5 minutes. I negged her again asking whether she enjoyed watching animals getting whipped. She replied with she was more impressed with how beautiful the animals were. My next txt I negged her once more saying that the horses were beautiful but there was a sadder side to horse racing. In the same txt I asked her to have lunch with me the next day. Up till that point things were going well. But after my last txt I did not hear a thing back from her.
I started feeling very AFCish. The usual anxiety of why isn't she txting back, what did I do wrong, did she get the txt, perhaps she has run out of phone credit etc. So this morning I called her. The phone went to voicemail and I left her a message saying something very AFCish like, "Hi, it's me. It's a lovely day. How about we catch up for that coffee and see how things go". FUCKING STUPID! I know. I've blown it good.
Yes, I am depressed right now. I don't know what to do. I feel foolish and stupid. I am sure others have been down this line and fucked things up before. I don't know what I should do. Should I try calling her again? I thought I'd give her 3 - 4 more days and call her again later in the week. Is this a good idea or should I bury this one and move on?
What about my txts and voicemail? What should I have said that would have been better? Did I over do it with the negging? |
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Whoopie
PUA Forum Addict
Joined: 07 Mar 2008
Posts: 235
Location: Greenville, SC
Reputation: 41.3
votes: 1
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| Posted: Sat Mar 08, 2008 11:01 pm Post subject: |
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Yeah I think you blown it! You should have waited a couple of days before asking her out. You could have just Over-negged it. I only neg back if she shit test me or negs me back. I would never send 4 negs in a row especially over txt. There is a topic around about Phone game. You should check it out.
If your feeling depress go pick up another girl and learn from your mistakes. I AFCed myself before then I go out and look for a HB7 to make myself forget about being AFCed and learn for the mistakes.
If you make the same mistake twice your retarded! |
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kodierer
Member of PUA Forum
Joined: 02 Mar 2008
Posts: 126
Reputation: 29.8
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| Posted: Sat Mar 08, 2008 11:06 pm Post subject: |
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When you mentioned the sadder side of horse racing, and the horse being whipped, I think you may have crossed the line into insulting her, she was there to enjoy a horse race, and you started trying to make her feel bad about it, or at least as far as she could tell. She have also taken you for some tree hugging pussy.
| Quote: | | Yesterday I texted her and asked how she was. I negged her by saying whether she had overcome her shock of being asked out by a guy looking for bags. She replied with she was at the horse races and that she was more surprised by a guy asking her out after just 5 minutes. |
You should have stopped there. If you really wanted to use "another" neg, then you should have said something like
you: "So you like animals?"
her: "yes"
you: "oh yeah, then you'll love me" |
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kiwi-indian
PUA Forum Enthusiast
Joined: 29 Feb 2008
Posts: 95
Reputation: 13
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| Posted: Sat Mar 08, 2008 11:21 pm Post subject: |
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| kodierer wrote: | When you mentioned the sadder side of horse racing, and the horse being whipped, I think you may have crossed the line into insulting her, she was there to enjoy a horse race, and you started trying to make her feel bad about it, or at least as far as she could tell. She have also taken you for some tree hugging pussy.
| Quote: | | Yesterday I texted her and asked how she was. I negged her by saying whether she had overcome her shock of being asked out by a guy looking for bags. She replied with she was at the horse races and that she was more surprised by a guy asking her out after just 5 minutes. |
You should have stopped there. If you really wanted to use "another" neg, then you should have said something like
you: "So you like animals?"
her: "yes"
you: "oh yeah, then you'll love me" |
Good advice. Yes, I've blown it. Hindsight is wonderful though. The key here is to learn from your mistakes. This was my FIRST approach so I'll give myself some credit and take the lessons learned on the shoulders.
Thanks. |
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leftytheking
Member of PUA Forum
Joined: 10 Feb 2008
Posts: 139
Location: US
Reputation: 30.4
votes: 3
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| Posted: Sun Mar 09, 2008 3:17 am Post subject: |
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You used too many negs.
There are 2 big reasons for a neg (there's more, but these are the big ones):
1. Breaking the bitch shield, making her feel self-conscious.
2. Maintaining her interest if she feels bored.
For an HB7-8.5, only 2-3 negs are effective. On HB8.5-10, 3 max. A neg makes a chick self-conscious! Your goal is to make her feel BETTER by talking to you, not WORSE. Give her 1, then build her up for a while. Don't destroy her self-image while trying to build rapport with her.
Rapport = Trust + Confidence. (Style)
Negging is like giving heavy painkillers to a baby. Use sparingly, or you can easily kill the baby.  |
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kiwi-indian
PUA Forum Enthusiast
Joined: 29 Feb 2008
Posts: 95
Reputation: 13
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| Posted: Sun Mar 09, 2008 3:26 am Post subject: |
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| leftytheking wrote: | You used too many negs.
There are 2 big reasons for a neg (there's more, but these are the big ones):
1. Breaking the bitch shield, making her feel self-conscious.
2. Maintaining her interest if she feels bored.
For an HB7-8.5, only 2-3 negs are effective. On HB8.5-10, 3 max. A neg makes a chick self-conscious! Your goal is to make her feel BETTER by talking to you, not WORSE. Give her 1, then build her up for a while. Don't destroy her self-image while trying to build rapport with her.
Rapport = Trust + Confidence. (Style)
Negging is like giving heavy painkillers to a baby. Use sparingly, or you can easily kill the baby. |
Thanks. You're 100% correct. |
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