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butterfield
Member of PUA Forum
Joined: 16 Jan 2008
Posts: 119
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votes: 2
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 Posted: Fri Feb 22, 2008 1:00 pm Post subject: New DHV story |
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What do you think?
“I got pulled over by the police today” “Why?/Really? etc.” “I was coming back from Bournemouth on the train and my ex girlfriend picked me up because she wanted to do some shopping after this photo shoot she does. But anyway she was driving me back to where I stay and we got pulled over. They claimed she was speeding but she swears she was within the limit, although I’m not so sure. So she losing her temper and people started staring which was a bit embarrassing. Anyway eventually i managed to calm her down we got away, but we easily could have spent the rest of her day in a cell.” |
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Sardonyx
PUA Forum Addict
Joined: 19 Feb 2008
Posts: 208
Location: Los Angeles
Reputation: 39
votes: 1
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| Posted: Fri Feb 22, 2008 10:54 pm Post subject: |
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It's okay. Out of 10, I would rate it a 5. Normally when I am throwing a DHV routine, I want the story to be about me. In your story, you aren't really conveying any DHV qualities other than you have an ex that models. She seems to be the center of focus of your story, which, in my experience, can actually turn targets off because it sounds like you are still stuck on an ex.
IMO, it's fine to talk about exes as long as you don't sound like you are stuck on them. I would maybe tweak the story to talk more about the cop and how he was being a complete suck-ass. And how you were like, "WTF?! Do we look like drug dealers or something?" IDK, it just needs to be tweaked to add some humor and make you the center of focus. Also, I would say that she was picking you up from the train because of something YOU needed. It would be another little DHV that your model ex would still be willing to go out of her way for you - you are that cool and high-value.
That's my two cents... |
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Promox
New to PUA Forum
Joined: 22 Feb 2008
Posts: 12
Location: Oslo
Reputation: 15.4
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| Posted: Sat Feb 23, 2008 2:25 pm Post subject: |
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| Sardonyx wrote: | It's okay. Out of 10, I would rate it a 5. Normally when I am throwing a DHV routine, I want the story to be about me. In your story, you aren't really conveying any DHV qualities other than you have an ex that models. She seems to be the center of focus of your story, which, in my experience, can actually turn targets off because it sounds like you are still stuck on an ex.
IMO, it's fine to talk about exes as long as you don't sound like you are stuck on them. I would maybe tweak the story to talk more about the cop and how he was being a complete suck-ass. And how you were like, "WTF?! Do we look like drug dealers or something?" IDK, it just needs to be tweaked to add some humor and make you the center of focus. Also, I would say that she was picking you up from the train because of something YOU needed. It would be another little DHV that your model ex would still be willing to go out of her way for you - you are that cool and high-value.
That's my two cents... |
Yes make it look like the ex is willing to go out of her way for you and also make it look like you where the one talking the officer from arresting you. It makes you look like a hero! :>
Them make it look like you where only helping your ex out because your such a good guy and had nothing else to do.
Note that I am a newbie myself but this is what I would have done. |
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x3dxFox
PUA Forum Enthusiast
Joined: 08 Jan 2008
Posts: 80
Reputation: 16.6
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| Posted: Sat Feb 23, 2008 6:35 pm Post subject: |
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Im far from the best at these DHV stories( I like to use actual experiences)but this seems like it has potential so I edited it up a bit.
I got pulled over by the police today” “Why?/Really? etc.” “I was coming back from Bournemouth on the train and my ex girlfriend picked me up because she wanted to go shopping with me so i could help her out with an outfit for a photo shoot and she promised me some new shoes. But anyway she was driving me back to where I stay and we got pulled over. They claimed she was speeding but she swears she was within the limit. So she losing her temper and people started staring which was a bit embarrassing, so i asked the officer if i could have a word with him in private, i asked him how much she was going over he said 10 over and then somehow we got into the conversation about how he pulled her over because he wanted to ask for her number and then he got upset because he saw me in the car and was actually going to giver her the ticket. Anyway eventually i managed to calm her down and we got away, but we easily could have spent the rest of our day in a cell.” |
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