Hey guys,

This is a follow-on from my last post about going out alone. I've some new insight, and points worth discussing.

Please excuse the specific situations, because I needed a couple to illustrate the theory. Specific theory questions are at the bottom.

1.

I went out solo again a couple weeks ago.

No negative feedback or reactions to the fact I was out alone whatsoever. It was never brought up or mentioned.

Nonchalant responses from first couple girls I opened. They moved on. Then I hooked this one girl and we were talking for a while; she was really cool and attractive; she was friends with like everyone on that level of the bar (celebration, etc)

She introduces me to the two girls I opened as her BFF's, I responded:

"Sure, nice to meet you, but you turned your nose up to me when I tried to say hi earlier."

Of course, I'd get scrunched faces, angry looks and "this guy's an asshole" vibe. Sure, I guess my angle could've been better.

But per RooshV, "Whenever you see a girl behaving in a way that's above her station, you call her on that and let her know that's not the kind of thing you stand for. Will it change the world ? No, but it'll put these girls on notice that there're still enough guys like us out there."

The main girl ended up asking about other cool places around because they wanted to break from the rest of their friends. I recommended and described one of my favorite places across the street.

She said, "Sounds cool! And we might see you there!"

Now at this point, you have to let them go, right? They'd have invited me if they wanted me over there w/. them. You sure as fuck don't say, "Wait! I can go over with you guys!"

If that's not needy and creepy, I don't know what is.

2.

I ran the fact that I've been hitting bars and clubs solo lately, to a friend, albeit not a very close one, over a rare beer.

"Do you do this often?!!" He asked in a surprised tone.

3.

I was at a happy hour with two co-workers and a mediocre looking girl one of the guys brought along.

"So, what do you think about a guy out at a bar by himself?"

She said:

"Honestly, that seems kinda creepy because, you know, what's he doing in a bar by himself? You've got to wonder if he has any friends at all."

"So you mean you wouldn't talk to a guy if he came up and said hi, and seemed like a nice guy, but he just didn't come with anybody?" - one of the guys asked.

"No, probably not, because you figure if he's at a bar by himself and wants to talk to you and maybe set up a date or take you home or something, he probably doesn't have any plans anyway."

I said "I know guys who only go out alone, and they tear it up! You're just one girl. Not all girls think that."

I also mentioned "How do you know he's not there with a ton of friends and just split off from them for a while? Happens all the time."

One of the guys even then said, "Yeah but really, if you separate from your friends, you know it's only gonna be for 30 minutes or so. They'll notice if you're alone for awhile."

"Well, I'd never be at a bar by myself for hours when I saw nothing coming of it anyway. I wouldn't just stand-around."

(and keep in mind, this girl isn't hot by any stretch, and certainly nothing worth losing sleep over)

I think this girl was just giving the party-line that all reasonably attractive girls are taught to say: practically recited it instinctually. Sound about right?

Now, how a girl like really would respond to a cool guy who was out by himself...that's another story.

4.

A female co-worker was out with a girlfiend and saw a guy eating dinner by himself at the bar.

She said, "Why's this guy out by himself eating dinner? What's going on here? Watch this." - and left him
a note to call her.

He boned her several times, needless to say.

The number one theme I seem to get from community about rolling solo is:

NEVER BE SEEN ALONE. You will look awkward. And looks won't help you of you're still just by yourself not talking to anyone.

This guy was siting alone, eating!

She said this guy looked "hot", had his back turned to her.

Luck of the draw? How do you sit and eat dinner with swagger, exactly?

So what do you guys think about this?

1. Don't follow girls to a second venue if they say, "We might seeya there" as they leave?

2. Surprised "friend" basically taken aback that I go out alone

3. Not-hot girl's explanation of why any guy at a bar by himself would be a loser?

4. How do you reconcile a guy eating dinner by himself, not saying a word to anyone, and getting approached by a hot girl (when he's also considered attractive by the girl)?

All the best,

Rob

_________________
Http://Dating-Musings.com

Hey man I think this is your second post about going out alone.

You have some issues, but the main one is this. You care too much about other people's opinion. Why do you even ask if it's ok to go on your own or not ? Hell, why do you even ask here ? Do you think it is ok for you or do you not think so ? Answer this question and stop giving a shit about peoples opinion who suck doing anything if their mom doesn't hold their hands.

You are doing it right though. Going out on your own is a good thing you don't have to listen to your friends whining and you are forced to meet people. I know from experience. Some people find it weird. These are the people you don't have to talk to. Some people find it awesome. You need these kind of people in your life that's all.

To your questions.
1. The girls at the martini bar, you handled well but you shouldn't have mentioned that you've met and they acted bitchy earlier. If anything you can say something funny about it or nothing at all.

2. The guy that's got surprised simply sucks no need to explain further.

3. Non-hot girl's opinion should not worth a penny for you. It's her opinion not yours.

4. Girls say one thing than do the other. Except this, they are not logical creatures.

Please stop questioning yourselves about this going out alone thing. You are doing the right thing. However one question is that do you go to a bar, because you like being at a bar ? Cos if you don't enjoy yourself by being out alone than there is no point doing it and people will notice that you are not having fun.

hope this helps

Why you did not post this in the same post?

1.
At that point i would have said, cool! i will be there later on see you then, let them know that you accept the invitation or shit i was about to go there lets go!... Depends on the vibe and if you hook them and buying temperature there.
why you care about other dudes? who the fuck cares... You remind me of paramount.
Again why do you care about anybody else opinion specially, dudes with not game, and a mediocre girl.
That dude was probably me, anyways, stop overanalysing irrelevant shit, i already took the time to write a post for you, stop being another paramount:
http://www.theskillsmethod.com/sarging- ... dvantages/

I have been sarging alone for about 15 years, is no big deal...

_________________
Learn the proper way to maximize your results in a dancefloor/club environment, check out my blog and youtube channel:
http://www.dancefloorseduction.com

Dancefloor/Club game youtube channel:
http://www.youtube.com/dancefloorseduction

Fuck man. You're over thinking things.

I sarge alone and don't give a fuck what people say. When I eat dinner alone, the 18-21 year old waitresses sit by my table and ask if I'm married. Now, since I have a few peacocking items, these give them a reason to kino me.

Instead of touching them first, they touch me first to look at my dragon ring or at my black Feng Shui beaded bracelet. They'll even grab my cigarette case from my pants when I put it back in my pocket (very effective nonverbal routine, you condition them to be comfortable around your cock area).

When I club alone, I sarge the bouncers first. They stay around my table and follow me around; sometimes AMOGing the boyfriends of some girls.

Adapt to your environment and go out more. Paralysis through over analysis will not help you improve.

_________________
Approach. Open. Escalate. Isolate

Here are my two essential rules on texting that will save you tons of time and money:

general-questions/topic137931.html

@Skills:

Paramount, lol. Let's go down that road again!

Thanks for the feedback. I didn't append it to the old post bc it was buried yesterday's news.

There's actually a nice little tidbit here:

"Don't be so quick to assume they'd be creeped out if you actually did wind up in the same place they independent bounced to. Although you may not have received a bona-fide invitation, you can always frame stuff anyway you want; "hey, I'm gonna be over there later anyway / I was on my way over in a minute anyway, yeah, I might seeya there.

Thanks man.

_________________
Http://Dating-Musings.com

The "not caring about other people's opinion" line is one I agree with widely. However, let's not forget that what a girl thinks does actually matter. We need the girls to be attracted to us enough for them to sleep with us. So, to that extent, what the girl thinks is important. Obviously what a girl says to you in a pub when surrounded by 3 guys she might not know that well isn't the same as what she'd actually do if a hot guy with great game comes up to her in a bar. It's the opinion of the girls we're hitting on that matters - nobody else.

In saying that, I think there are a few things about going out alone which can help. They may not be the be all and end all, but they will help - and after all, that's what game is really. Anything and everything works, if done right. But not all of us can do everything right and so we need to play the percentages a bit more.

In a bar with only 40 or 50 people, you're far more likely to come across as the loner guy with no friends who is trying to prey on drunken women. Girls' defences go up, and you have to game them hard from the start to get anywhere. In a big club with hundreds if not thousands of people, nobody bats an eyelid at you being alone; people get separated from their groups all the time in big clubs. And if anyone does ask where your friends are, they won't be suspicious at all if you tell them you lost your friends. It happens all the time. The girls defences don't go up just because you're on your own, so you've got an easier start right from the off.

So whilst neither situation is going to critically damage your chances if the rest of your game is tight, the location can make it easier.

If you worry about what the girls think is a form of neediness, ex. she likes red and you like blue, if you say you like red, when you don't is needy. Polarity creates tons of attraction. You do not need to get a girl attracted to sleep with you, you can get her invested, aroused etc... Many reasons why women will sleep with you. If you put so much importance in what a girl thinks of you, you are putting her on a pedestal. What you are describing in that sentence is a dude that has scarcity... You want to bring the girl to your true you, your world and your goals. Not the other way around, which is what all the "Nice guys do".
^ again all of that is a myth, what if you are a multimillionare, popular dude travelling for biz, all of what you are describing are limiting beliefs and not facts. As i said, i have been going out by myself for years and i never had those type of problems. Remember the character in the movie "crazy stupid love", he was alone in a small bar, though he is a character in a movie, i had similar experiences. There are also women that go to bars alone to look for dudes to fuck(rare, but it happens), do you look at her like a loser loner????

I sell sex, i sell i am a lover, a secret society dude:

Hb: who are you here with?????

me: with my best friend..

Hb: oh really where is he

me: right here(while grabbing my balls)

hb: hits me, laughs and say: "you are a jerk"------> Bingo, is on

_________________
Learn the proper way to maximize your results in a dancefloor/club environment, check out my blog and youtube channel:
http://www.dancefloorseduction.com

Dancefloor/Club game youtube channel:
http://www.youtube.com/dancefloorseduction

Skills...

First bit - you're not replying to what I said, you're replying to something you want to reply to. I didn't say you need to adapt yourself to suit the girl or be needy. I said that girls need to like you. If you don't think girls need to like/be attracted to you in order for them to sleep with you, then you're either a rapist or you haven't slept with many girls. How you 'get' girls to like you doesn't have to be changing yourself to suit a particular girl, but it does mean being the best you that you can be. If I turned up having not showered for a month, with a dirty face, and sat there swearing for no reason telling people to fuck off, they're not going to be attracted to me. Of course girls need to be attracted to you, to say otherwise is just trying to have an argument for the sake of it. In the same way, if SOME girls might be freaked out by you being on your own chatting to all the girls in a bar, then by being in a big club with more people you limit the chances of that freaking out affecting your results.

As for the rest; again, read my post, I haven't said you won't succeed in a small bar. I have even explicitly said that you can still have success in a bar with only 40 or 50 people. I simply said that in a big club you're more likely to have success - the percentages are higher; there are more people and you're less likely to seem like you're on your own. For the large majority of girls being on your own probably won't matter. However, let's say for arguments sake that 2% of girls might be freaked out by a guy out on their own - that means in a bar of 40 people, 20 women, 20 men, 2% (1 girl) freaked out = 19 left. In a club of 500 people, the 2% = 10 girls, which = 490 more girls to work with. Not to mention that out of that 2% you've got an excuse which they will buy when you're in a big club (lost my friends) whereas in a bar, you've got nothing to work with on that 2%. So small bar, 2% freak out, 19 left. Big club, 2% freak out, 495 or so left. Limiting belief, or common sense?

If you're going out alone, like any game, you not only need to have tight game, but you should be playing the percentages. In response to the opening poster, who clearly hasn't had brilliant experiences in smaller bars, I have said that to improve his chances he should boost his chances by going to a bigger club where he sticks out less for being on his own. Where is the limiting belief or myth there?

Edit: However, I do agree that the only real one of the examples the opening poster uses and should be worried about is that he went out and didn't have any problems whatsoever. Like I said in my original post, it's what the girl(s) you're chatting up think that matters - if they don't give a shit that you're out alone, then don't worry if you're friends don't think the same way.

We are talking in the context of going out alone, what I understood you said, is that is important what the girls perceive of you, if you are alone:
3 types of girls interested, not interested or neutral. I present myself authentic to neutral girls ^ which is what you referring in that sentence, and display my true self, if they do not like it, I move on... A GIRL WILL NOT, NO LIKE YOU, because you are alone, that is none sense. I Picked up hundreds of girls going out alone in small venues...I am sure someone else that goes out alone can chime in. I know Phangan has similar success going out alone (he does not post anymore).

You can go to a bigger club, I did a video on the subject, or SEVERAL small bars minimum 3... Again for what I understand you make it sound like if you are alone is somewhat lower value, or will fuck up your seduction...

You can go alone and open groups of people and mingle.... It is not a big deal, it is between your 2 ears... By the way there are some cases in which the girl hates your guts and you can still fuck them, ex. Ex girlfriends friends and family members.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QRbzkSNRiww[/youtube]

_________________
Learn the proper way to maximize your results in a dancefloor/club environment, check out my blog and youtube channel:
http://www.dancefloorseduction.com

Dancefloor/Club game youtube channel:
http://www.youtube.com/dancefloorseduction

I'll retype my initial post in bullet point form for you styles, as you seem to be reading things into it that I have never said.

1) Girls (generally, not any specific one) need to like you/be attracted to you in order for them to sleep with you. (And "liking" sexually or being attracted does not always mean being your best friend. As you say, people can hate each other but just have a sexual chemistry.)

2) In terms of girls being freaked out/saying that they find a guy out on his own a bit weird, that doesn't matter. The only opinion that does matter is the opinion of the girl you're chatting to. That doesn't mean you need to change yourself to try and look good to that girl. It means that as long as the girl you are talking to isn't freaked out by you being alone, it doesn't matter what other girls/people think.

3) I have never said that girls in a bar won't like you because you're on your own. What I said was that if a girl sees a guy on his own in a bar of only 40 or 50 people, she is likely to raise her defences. She's MORE LIKELY (not definitely) going to think "hmm, what's this guy here on his own for?" "where are his friends?" "He must be a player type just out on the pull". Now none of those things mean you definitely won't shag her. But what it does mean is that you need to lower her defences before you start.

4) In a club, however, where there are hundreds of people, those defences won't be raised in the first place. "Oh a guy on his own, he's probably lost all his friends, that happens all the time in these sorts of places." And if her defences do go up because you're on your own in a club, then you can instantly lower them again by saying that you lost your friends. That's not suggesting that you are low value, it's just an easy way to lower her defences again nice and quickly. Yes you can simply say you are on your own, but if she thought that was a bit weird in the first place, isn't it just easier to say you've lost your friends in a big club, get her defences/initial feeling of being weird out of the way instantly and get on to something more interesting. You can't really say that in a bar of 40 people though, because you ought to be able to see your friends! Which means you have a harder time lowering the girls defences.

5) I'll just repeat the exact same line as I put in my first post... "So whilst neither situation is going to critically damage your chances if the rest of your game is tight, the location can make it easier."

I don't think we're disagreeing, I think you're trying to have a debate (not necessarily an argument) with things that aren't being said. OP wanted some opinions on going out alone, I gave a post saying that it might be easier to pull in a club than a smaller bar for those reasons above amongst others. I don't think there are any 'myths' and 'debilitating beliefs' or any other such term that you've used! It was simply a matter of, in a small bar, girls may be more likely to think a guy being alone is weird than they would in a club. Then you have to lower her defences/get rid of her doubts before you start. This won't happen with all girls. But if you were looking for something to make going out alone easier, then being in a club is probably going to make it easier than being in a smaller bar. Neither is impossible, but on the percentages, a club is probably going to be better for you.

^ my current gf of 6-7 years was not attracted at all to me, i fucked her. Due to arousal.

I totally disagree, and is ok to disagree. I have the i am the prize, i am the buyer mentality the only opinions, actions etc... That matter, are my OWN. I am not trying to get a girl attracted, i am trying to find out if we click, got chemistry and if we got chemestry, i call it screening... I just highlighted were you are putting the girl in a pedestal, her opinion DOES NOT MATTER MUCH, either she is with the program or she isn't... We are going in circles.
you just did here "as long as the girl you are talking to isn't freaked out by you being alone" ^ dude none sense, specially what i highlighted.
Kjoking on the subject, sorry dude, i will repeat it to you for the 50th time, I HAVE BEEN GOING OUT ALONE FOR THE LAST 15 years, i have never encounter any of what you are saying... You don't need to lie that you lost your friends, that action in itself is NEEDY. Dude i just told you:
hb: who are you here with?
me: my best friend
hb:where is he at?
me: Grab my balls....

Scenarios in pick up are only weird if you believe they are weird...
We are totally disagreeing... For the last 5 years, I have been going out alone, to 3 small clubs, so that is why, what you are saying and my references experiences are totally off...

Instead of going in circles these are my questions for you 7000, how many times do you go out to small venues by yourself????

_________________
Learn the proper way to maximize your results in a dancefloor/club environment, check out my blog and youtube channel:
http://www.dancefloorseduction.com

Dancefloor/Club game youtube channel:
http://www.youtube.com/dancefloorseduction

How is arousal not the same as being attracted to you? Like I said, there are loads of different ways to 'get' the girl attracted to you. Some girls will be attracted because of your looks, some will be attracted because of your personality, some will be attracted because of your overt sexuality. They still have to be attracted in some way to sleep with you though.

It's not putting her on a pedastal at all. OP said that he was worried because when he went out with his work mates, the girl who went out with them said she thought a person being on their own was weird. My point is that this female work mate's opinion doesn't matter in the slightest. As long as the girl (or the girls) you are trying to chat up don't care if you're on your own, it doesn't matter. It's the same as having a girl who doesn't find you attractive. So what if the girl doesn't find you attractive, all that matters is that you can find someone who does find you attractive. If the friend-in-the-pub thinks going out alone is weird, it doesn't matter, as long as some girls in bars don't think it's weird (and there are plenty who don't think it's weird).

In your example, why do you say "my best friend" at all? It's not needy in the slightest. Like I've said, it simply lowers the defences of the girl instantly. Yeah you can say something like 'grab my balls', and yeah eventually you can lower the defences using your usual personality and game. But if you can say "oh I lost them when I went to get a drink" then she just accepts that and the defences are dropped immediately. They just think you're a normal guy now, they're not thinking "this guy is a massive player I better watch out and keep my guard up". If they do think that, then you have to use your personality and game to get those defences down, whereas if you just say something like "oh I ditched them earlier" or "I lost them when I went to get another drink" or even "oh they went home early but I've got more stamina", then you're away.

Not that I see the relevance (after all, just because you've been doing something for 15 years doesn't mean that it is necessarily the best or only way), but I have been going out alone for over 6 years and probably once a week as an average for that entire time. Whilst I very rarely find any problems now, when I first started out I did have girls saying that every now and then, and I didn't have the confidence or know how to get around it, as I'm sure many going-out-alone-newbies have a similar problem with. Therefore, ways to make it easier for yourself = going to a big club rather than a small bar, for the reasons above. Small bar isn't impossible, and to be quite honest, when I got to a certain age I found smaller places preferable to bigger clubs, but when you start out, a big club is easier.

^ good! better, now we agree

Let me show you a roockie i was helping using the grab your balls line, his name is wall1e

_________________
Learn the proper way to maximize your results in a dancefloor/club environment, check out my blog and youtube channel:
http://www.dancefloorseduction.com

Dancefloor/Club game youtube channel:
http://www.youtube.com/dancefloorseduction

I am down for going out alone because you do not need people with you to have a good time. I admit, you may look strange opening random groups of people. If you come across as genuine, you may be allowed in. Playful, funny and true (for lack of a better word) I think would be the best frame when sarging alone. Two weeks ago I got kicked out of one of the most notable bars in my town, in part because of my behavior because I was alone (was on my third drink). I kino escalated some girls in a random group and bounced from table to table. I may have been too touchy feely too early. That one stilll eats at me. i think going out alone is the peak of this art. All you need is yourself, period.

_________________
Call me Sly.
My goal: To become a Pickup Artist in everything but name.

And yeah, This is (still) just the beginning.

If you're worried about what ppl think of you going out alone or if a girl at a club calls you on it just say I am new in town just out looking to meet some new ppl that's what I did when I was new in town it worked great. But I find its way easier to pick up girls by yourself because it shows confidence But that just my opinion and my experience. Google Badboy lifestyle going out alone read that it might help you out a bit