Methuselah
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 Posted: Mon Jul 16, 2007 12:39 pm Post subject: Methuselah's Observations: Week Two - The Jealous Boyfriend |
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One of my very good friends is what would be classified as a typical jealous boyfriend, he is extremely possessive of his women, to the point where he will do anything in his physical power to keep them. While being assertive of your possessions is a smart way of getting what you want, and keeping it that way, being over-possessive (jealous) is damaging to your not only your game, but your life as well. This often involved him fighting, threatening other men, and arguing profusely with the women in his life. In no way would I consider him an AFC, because he has always been able to obtain some extremely beautiful women. At best I would describe him as an Alpha-male with one serious AFC flaw, and that of course, would be uncontrollable jealously and possessive feelings regarding the women in his life. Through the years I have seen and helped him through some pretty bad situations he has gotten himself into as a result of these qualities. I've also seen him lose some of the women he cherished so dearly. Here are my observations for this week.
Observations:
1) Allowing other peoples' actions and moods affect your own: One of the worst things about being a jealous person (not the only way this can happen, but one of the most common) is that his mood would rely completely on the current actions or mood of his particular girlfriend. Whether he was jealous from seeing her talk to another guy, angry because she was being bitchy, upset because she blew him off, happy because all was going well, or anything else. His mood directly correlated to how his relationships with other people were going, and not on himself. You should never ever allow something like this to take place in your life, no matter what relationship type we are speaking of, if you do, you will never truly be yourself and you will never truly experience and enjoy life for yourself.
2) No attention/affection control: Face it, people love when others are giving their attention to them, but it is an abused power. Once you receive a certain amount of undivided attention from someone, you begin to lose their respect, everyone does it, especially women in relationships. He would shower his women with his undivided attention anytime they wanted it, and even when they didn't prompt it. There was no hint of push-pull or cat-string theory in practice. The women in his life would soon grow accustomed to him acting this way, and when he wouldn't do it for some reason, a fight would break out. Thus taking us back to point number one, ruining his mood. There is nothing wrong with showing your significant other affection, love, and whatever else, but too much of it shifts the power of a relationship dramatically in one direction.
3) Jealously is annoying: Nobody likes a jealous partner, here is why. For the most part, feelings of jealously come about by irrational thinking that is based on unconfirmed and incomplete information of the situation, whatever it may be. Therefore, it tends to get REALLY annoying when you have to deal with a partner who is constantly worrying and getting angry over things that he/she is completely overreacting about. Jealous boyfriends/girlfriends drive people away because nobody wants to be around negativity, something that jealously is based on. Jealously shows a lack of trust, a lack of confidence in oneself, and an overall lack of sanity. Are any of those qualities attractive? In conclusion, it drives people away.
4) Negativity: As just previously mentioned, jealously is filled with negativity. Negativity towards your the skill of your game, negativity in your moods, negativity in your relationships, negativity in your social outlook, and various others.
5) If you build it, they will come: If you correctly and genuinely construct your persona into something that is attractive and comforting, women will come. It's like The Field of Dreams. Women are naturally attracted to men who could not be bothered by their mind-games that most men seem to fall for so easily. And jealously is not one of those qualities to include if your looking for a naturally attractive personality. Think about a really jealous person you know in your life? Isn't it an unattractive quality?
The point of this post being, live your life not giving a fuck. Go with the flow. What happens, happens. Don't let petty bullshit like jealously affect your life negatively. This means not only to eliminate feelings of jealously you have, but not associating with people, especially women who are jealous individuals. Nothing good will come of it. |
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Difference
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| Posted: Tue Jul 17, 2007 12:42 am Post subject: |
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| Giacomo wrote: | I have always had an attitude based around ideals such as this.
And I can say that this was one of the attitudes I believe helped me get any women in my more AFC days.
All of this is essential in pre-relationship stages as well. I have a friend who gets awfully possessive and protective around girls he likes but has yet to establish any physical connection with. He also submits himself to them ultimately driving them away.
Again Meth, your an invaluable addition to the PUA community. Love your work. Keep it up. |
Who?? I think I might have an idea but I think you should tell me.
And meth, nice man. I have a friend who's bf is off the charts jealous. She's been forced to delete any guy's numbers in her phone, so she's forced to remember mine just to msg me. It's fucking ridiculous. I don't know what she sees in him. Apparently he's really jealous of me and the good time me and her have together just hanging out, which has led her to not being able to see me. It's fucked up. She broke up with him once, after I had been telling her she could do way better, but then went back to him after a while. Afc toss. |
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Action!
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| Posted: Tue Jul 17, 2007 3:29 am Post subject: |
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| Giacomo wrote: | | I have a friend who gets awfully possessive and protective around girls he likes but has yet to establish any physical connection with. He also submits himself to them ultimately driving them away. |
I'm with Difference... who?
"Live your life not giving a fuck" is something I'm trying to do, and I'm definately achieving. And it has made me ridiculously more satisfied with everything. Most AFCs fuck things up when they care too much. I know a guy who, when he's not trying, can pick up almost any girl he wants. But when he sees a girl that interests him, he will totally creep them out. And he doesn't see this pattern.
But that maxim doesn't just apply to Pick Up. I think, to have a healthy and happy life, you need to let go of the importance of anything society has made you value. The happiest people I've met were the ones that had learnt, by themselves, to stop giving a fuck. |
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