Life after PUA? Keeping a girlfriend, getting married?

christopherphilip

How much thought is put into this by PUA's? I have talked to a few people and it seems that the (typically) male mind doesn't look that far ahead. But PUA seems to really mess people up. Picturing dating as a game can sometimes hurt how you look at life. There was a documentary about a few PUA's trying to pick-up girls at speed dating. They were using the neg, and all that other stuff, but they failed miserably! They failed because they ran game on girls that WANTED to date. This material works on girls that are for lack of better word "out of it". They aren't sure exactly what they want, but why would you run game on a girl you are dating already? Or on a girl that is seeking a suitor for marriage? Plan and simple, once you get the girl, drop the game. The more game you play after, the worse your relationship will go. Games or for players. They have no place in a positive relationship. My 2 cents anyway. Eventually everyone is going to move on from PUA so it's a disservice not to acknowledge this before you even start.

kbell · Posted: Thu Mar 13, 2008 4:02 pm Post subject:

Someday I intend to settle down with a cute little wife, have 4 children (hopefully some males) and eventually open an animation studio. If I were younger and came across PUA community, I would probably be more obsessed about it than I already am, and have a different outlook.

christopherphilip · Posted: Thu Mar 13, 2008 7:18 pm Post subject:

Jay Wa · Posted: Thu Mar 13, 2008 8:31 pm Post subject:

I agree with your conclusion, but I am not really sure if I agree with everything to support that conclusion (if that makes any sense).

Yes, Game should be used as a medium to find the right person: Dare I say, everntually settle down? But I don't think "Game" in of itself should not be dropped on the whole; it certainly holds its merit (at least it has in my relational experiences), but I think some of the rules need to be tweaked a little bit.

From my own perspective, the persons most successful in Gaming share one quality- that is, they are apathetic to the outcome. And because they are apathetic, the women strive earnestly for their validation. With validation, comes everything else: relationships, friendship,. . .sex (not necessarily in that order).

Likewise, the people that experience success in relationships share one quality- empathy. That is, they are very good at empathizing with their partner.

I think with a little revision to the rules, Game can be incredibly helpful in relationships and in marriage.

The Doctor · Posted: Thu Mar 13, 2008 9:24 pm Post subject:

I disagree about 'dropping game'... do that and your going to get cheated on, pure and simple.

Now I'm not saying run routines and crap on your girl friend, but you still have to be the man in the relationship, you still need to be confident, funny, the prize.

This is leads towards what disturbs me about the PUA community... and even though this will probably piss alot people off, I'll say it anyway... because it's the truth, and something must be done.

You've inspired me to create a thread about this.

KINGCASANOVA · Posted: Thu Mar 13, 2008 11:07 pm Post subject:

YEAH DROPPING GAME IS A BAD IDEA. AS FOR ME I THOUGHT ABOUT THIS LONG BEFORE I EVEN KNEW ABOUT THE BOOK THE GAME OR EVEN DAVID D FOR THAT MATTER. I PERSONALLY DONT WANT TO MARRY. MAYBE HAVE A GF BUT NOTHING LONG TERM. I REALLY ENJOY THE CHASE, THE EXCITEMENT OF MEETING, DATING AND (DEPENDING ON THE WOMAN) SLEEPING WITH DIFFERENT WOMEN. I HAVE NEVER SAW MYSELF MARRIED NOR DO I WANT TO GO THROUGH WITH THAT. QUITE HONESTLY I HAVE TRULY EMBRACED MY MANLY NATURE OF BEING WITH MORE THAN ONE WOMAN AND I ENJOY IT. I THINK SOME MEN HAVENT DONE THAT AND THEY SHOULD DO IT. IT MIGHT MEAN NEVER BEING MARRIED BUT IT SAVES YOU FROM EVER CHEATING ON A WOMAN. I CANT SEE MYSELF PUTTING A WOMAN THROUGH THAT KIND OF PAIN. ITS NOT FAIR TO HER AND SO TO AVOID THAT YOU DONT MARRY IN THE FIRST PLACE.

christopherphilip · Posted: Thu Mar 13, 2008 11:57 pm Post subject:

Certain aspects of the game should be kept, but aren't those more inner game type issues? Should you neg your wife? Kino her lol. A neg can be used to control a woman, but marriage isn't about controlling her, its about building her up and partnership and common goals. Teasing is great and can keep things alive and well, but gaming your wife can't be constructive in the exact same sense as PUA sees it. I'm still open to the idea though because a lot of the things I use have roots in PUA, but I'm always surprised by successful PUA's that are no good at keeping girlfriends. Is this just because they haven't mastered PUA or because PUA isn't a solution to a long term relationship? What aspects of the game do you keep and which aspects do you drop once you get the girl?

I guess what I am most curious about is why are the women who are most interested in dating and finding a husband not swayed AT ALL by the PUA's in this video:

I see this as very revealing for the argument that PUA doesn't work well on girls that want to settle down and find a decent guy, but may be more suited to girls that want to just mess around.

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