Saturday May 16th

I wish it would have been Crash and Burn for me.
I wish I would have failed and got rejected. I would have atleast tried in that case but I couldn't.
I went to the usual spots which I got to. Couple of bars and nightclubs but no success.
But I didn't fail. Thats coz I didn't try at all.

There were sets everywhere 1 Set, 2 Set, 3 Set but I could not open any of them.
My usual fear and anxiety took me over.
I kept on breaking the 3 second rule and kept on screwing my chances.
I was overwhelmed by this great negative feeling of rejection inside me which prevented me from making any move at all.

If I would have made a move, I would have had atleast some chances or a crash and burn in the very least case. The nightclub with the dance floor was so noisy that I could not do anything. I was just frozen, standing next to the dance floor looking while others took over the sets which could have been mine.

It was like water everywhere but not a single drop to drink.
So many hot, beautiful and single women but nothing I could do. It can't get better than this. If I can't do it here then I can't do it anywhere.

I've been focusing on steps 1, 2, 3 etc. of the game but I should really work on step 0: getting rid of the anxiety which I have, the fear which takes me over and prevents me from even opening a set. I guess rest will fall in place by itself.

I need more self confidence. Its like I've been thrown into this big pool of water and I have to learn how to swim now for sure. Its now or never.
Loosing is not an option. Gotta do better next time. At least I have to open the sets.

OPEN OR DIE

Everyone of the PUAs have been there done that. We all have had nites like these when you just aren't FEELING IT. You'll do well the next time you are out there, just live by your own rule OPEN or DIE

Thanks for the reply Marc.
Thats very encouraging. I hope I can do better next time. I'll work more on the AA and other inner stuff before going out next weekend.

Yeah, honestly, don't worry about it, that happens to everyone.

If I'm at a bar and I'm not feeling it, it's really tough to get started at that bar. One thing that helps me is a change of scenery. I think it's a lot easier to go in to a bar and just start approaching (3 second rule), vs. scoping the place out first. If I just start talking to someone as soon as I get in there, I get more confidence. And even if I crash and burn, I can spin off in to a different set and tell them about that very crash and burn!

Cool bro

I guess we all had that problem... I clearly remember the situations I gave in... I couldn't slept afterwards regretting and being angry with myself I haven't even tried. Such thinking couldn't get me a relief, so I endly opened girls. Don't worry man, you do nothing wrong. Just keep the motivation.

Thanks a lot for the encouragement friends
It will surely help me
This looks like a good tactic to me.
I should try in this direction when I go out next time

another piece of advice..

Sometimes you feel compelled to open, even when you dont really feel like doing so. It is kinda a state of mind.

But all this Pua World requieres maximum effort to achieve mastery, right?..

Do take it seriously, practice makes perfect, but please..

Dont punish yourself for not opening, maybe you didnt really felt like doing so, theres nothing bad with it, it is 100% more important to Genuinely have fun, and let the night and the field determine the course of action, wether to open or not.
Sometimes there are external factors that make it more difficult.

IF you feel discouraged because you didnt open, ask this to yourself.

Where you really having fun by the moment you got to the venue?
Where you doing something else besides craving to open sets?
Where you feeling good about your outlooks that night?
Where you tired? upset about something?
Was "OPENING SETS" the only thing that was going tru your mind?
Did you do anything at all to help you get rid of anxiety? ( there are many techniques for this purpouse)


This is a particular SELF DLV feeling.

"I was overwhelmed by this great negative feeling of rejection inside me which prevented me from making any move at all"

makes me believe that you were only thinking of opening and playing game and girls and the step 1 A2 blah blah.... where the only requirement was for you to have fun, feel confident, lighten up and let the field show you the way. Remember you play the game, the game doesnt play you.

Ive been stressed out quite too many times that; if i dont have fun by myself, I wont make it happen. Yes, as a PUA or RAFC or whatever, i have the commitment with myself to improve at my game with girls and be more successful in that aspect of my life, but it doesnt take away the fact that Im still Human, and Im subject to many inside and outside factors, such as feeling bad, tired, upset, emotionaly tired, bored, alone etc etc..

Desire of improvement on this Area, puts us under a lot of presure from ourselves sometimes. Where as before, everytime we went out we didnt feel the need to OPEN SET PLAYING GAME, just to drink or have fun or whaveter we used to feel lonely and or upset about life but next day everything was normal again... and NOw, knowing about the GAME and THE PUA WORLD, having the presure of improving fast, ( and you could agree with me on this one) we feel presured to open every set we ssee, or everytime we go out, open at least one set even when we dont really feel in the mood.

Feeling too much under presure about opening sets or gaming, can put us under very negative emotional and mental stress, really.

NExt time you go out, just relax, have fun, talk to people, make jokes, laugh, walk around, dance, whatever you do, just have FUN... !! is it too much to ask?.. having fun does not always mean to have a girl with you.
If the oportunitty arises for you to open set, sure youll feel more comfortable and less presured to open than you normally would if you just learn to have FUN and things will go better for you if you just relax.

Having PUA skills is a goal we've all set to ourselves, but above all, remember that, as mystery said, you are what you do!... your identity !!.... whats about you that makes you unique? or special?... do you think that the fact of knowing about game and using techniques makes you special??...what is it that you do that gives you an identity????.....YOU ARE FUN, because you have fun... YOu dont open set because you are a player, you open set because you know you are fun and something that girls crave fun is to have fun, and so do you

Its like a lion, sayin " i Hunt because i am a lion "....

or should he say...

" I hunt because i have claws and make huge noisy raWRRR and every ones afraid of mee and im the king and i need to survive so i chose the best nights to do it and eventually improve my preying skills "

are you following me??

So be fun and girls will want to be with you.

If you feel stressed, presured and/or anxious to open an play game and girls will smelly our anxiety and run away from you. and you will want to run away from yourself too.

DOnt be so hard on yourself, we've all been there, laying on our beds, eyes wide open, sad about ourselves, and wishing we had opened at least once, just letting the presure drain away our energy...

I can understand you man, but be aware that you have also got to realize your human condition, Open, yes, but if you dont feel comfortable at any given time, its better to just lay back, relax and have fun.

Controlling your anxiety levels is one thing, and, another very important one, is learning to control and or raise your mental/emotional states such as relaxation, Fun, self comfort, your smile, the way you feel at the venue, mental control over your own body language, clearing your mind of any negative thoughts. etc etc.

Learn to pick your battles also, knowing whens a good night for you to play game and realize whens not your night. .

THis is my take on this, and my humble opinion,i really hope it helps

PEACE !!

_________________
".. I will learn all that I've forgotten, I will succeed where I'd previously failed, and even if I don't I wont stop, cuz this is not just about girls, this is about Life "

You sound like a beginner, and there's nothing wrong with that. In my mind however, not opening is a failure and opening and getting rejected is a success--not the greatest success, but better than having not opened at all.

Did you have a wing? I think it's really tough if you're doing this alone. You need a wing with some experience. Maybe you could find one on this board.

I agree with Johny3op: start opening as soon as you walk in the place to help yourself build more confidence. But before you even go out for the night, ask yourself if you're even in the right frame of mind to be opening? How do you feel? Do you want it bad enough? Are you really pissed about something? How do you feel physically? Do you have a headache? If you're not feeling up to the task better to just stay at home and work on internet pussy or just enjoy your time the way you like to without even worrying about women.

I have always gone out on my own and usually meet some people I have met while going out. They are women in the friend zone but the other week they had gone somewhere else and i was there on my own. It feels scary to be there on your own. YOu think other people are thiknig about you and thinking, jeez, this guy has no friends, what a loser!
However, when your confidnece and self esteem are high you dont give a fck and can do the approaches. the problem is when you don´t give yourself permission to do the approaches, reasoning, "shit, If i do an approach i am gonna get so badly shut down" then you are your own worst enemy.
Because for all you know, the girl could actually be receptive and you could end up going home to have a little fun.

You blow out yourself and of course miss 100% of the shots you never took.

I must work on this myself. and steadily overcome my horredous negative expectations when i do an approach. it must be obvious in my body language and be clear on my face.

100% true

If you go out, make sure that you HAVE FUN. If you have AA or a crash and burn, its not a big deal, cause you had fun. And to those that rejected you, they missed having fun together with you. Its their loss, not yours.

Also, if youre having fun, you feel good and you have confidence. It shows youre not one of those guys sitting at the bar and get drunk.

Sometimes (+- every six months) theres an evening that wasnt that much fun. After such an evening, you have 2 possibilities:
- feel sad/depressive about youre night out
- look forward to your next night out, one with double fun

and remember:
rejection isnt failure, its feedback

Just to add to the great stuff already said, and believe me I was taking some notes for myself on this one cause I do it a lot too, there is something Richard Bandler (one of the NLP creators) is to play music in your head. He says when ever he has a client about to come down the hall he starts off with a drum beat, followed by wind instruments, then the strings, the big base drums, chorus comes in, and he pictures himself grow with the music as if a giant on the earth and the client shrinks and as they come in he has the attitude of ho ho ho little client. He also advises that in a pinch you can use some pump me up music and let it get you a little pumped up as well.

I remember working security back stage at a Metallica concert. It was their first headliner in the mid 90’s. I had just had a run in with Lars because I didn’t recognize him in person and tossed him out of the concert, but honestly he was really cool about it. The rest of the band showed up… they were tossing each other around getting wound up, Jason Newsted I remember was doing push ups. I was all in the mix as was the rest of the support staff and rodies. They launched into that concert like an explosion.

So when I’m going out, I play the music loud and I drive fast and I’m unapologetically rocking out the whole way. Ya, there are still times even this is a struggle, but at least it elevates your energy and mood a few notches above where it started.

_________________
Always,
Trainer Jason

open or die is a great way to look at it. don't think of it as approaching women. look at it as "I'm interesting and I am looking for other interesting" people. seriously. this did wonders for my AA.

_________________
"Fortune favors the bold."
My blog:
http://thisisnotimefortheinnocent.blogspot.com/

Thanks a lot guys for the encouraging responses.
Thanks BassOpens for the post
that was really an eye opener
I guess I was putting too much pressure on myself
I forgot that this thing was about having fun and about being cool
being myself
If I can't have fun myself then how can others have fun around me.
I gotta play the game, the game doesn't play me.
Thanks again to the community
I'm so glad that I joined this forum where prople are so helpful.

you know whats so great about this forums? all this posting and reading, quoting and stuff??.....

Its the awesome feeling that you have when you know that your words, thoughts and ideas have helped someone improve his/her life.

Im glad i could be of some help man !

keep it going !

Peace !

_________________
".. I will learn all that I've forgotten, I will succeed where I'd previously failed, and even if I don't I wont stop, cuz this is not just about girls, this is about Life "