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 Post subject: Jokes
PostPosted: Fri Jan 16, 2009 6:48 am 
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Sometimes a well said joke can be a good opener.

Anyone have any links to some sites with a variety of jokes that could be used as openers?

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"Wait, so let me get this straight. One really big meal a day then we go to sleep, no paper towels but a little bit of bread because we're not Nazis and as many popsicles as we want."


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PostPosted: Sun Jan 18, 2009 5:27 pm 
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what do you call a fish with no eyes? a ffffssssshhhh!


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PostPosted: Tue Jan 20, 2009 1:29 pm 
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This is my favourite joke in the world. and everytime i tell a girl this joke she laughs but then says its rubbish, so then i bring out all my cheesy jokes (i love stupid humor), which always gets her laughing, but although she's laughing at me, she still seems to enjoy herself and doesnt go.

So here it is

Two owls are playing pool, and one of them pots the white ball, so he says
"*sigh* two hits"
the other one says
"two hits??? twohitstowho (Twitstwoo)"

:D

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PostPosted: Tue Jan 20, 2009 3:15 pm 
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Q:What's the difference between a terrorist and a woman on PMT?
A:You can at least talk to a terrorist.
:lol:


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PostPosted: Wed Jan 21, 2009 10:30 pm 
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LOL @ the fssshhhh joke.

Q: Why was the blonde's belly button sore?
A: Because her boyfriend was also blonde...

This would be a good thread for short one-liner jokes. Post anything good you got here!

CPT

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"Wait, so let me get this straight. One really big meal a day then we go to sleep, no paper towels but a little bit of bread because we're not Nazis and as many popsicles as we want."


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PostPosted: Tue Jan 27, 2009 5:17 am 
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3 gay guys wanna sit on a stool, how do they solve their problem?


Turn the stool upside down!


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PostPosted: Tue Jan 27, 2009 1:55 pm 
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1984 wrote:
3 gay guys wanna sit on a stool, how do they solve their problem?


Turn the stool upside down!


LOL

What does the number 591 mean?
5 minutes of pleasure
9 months waiting
1 more in the family


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PostPosted: Tue Jan 27, 2009 8:50 pm 
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what kinda bee produces milk?



a boobie!


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PostPosted: Tue Jan 27, 2009 8:54 pm 
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The other day I needed to pay a visit to the public toilet, so I found a public toilet that had two cubicles.
One of the doors was locked. So I went into the other one, closed the door, dropped my trousers and sat down.
A voice came from the cubicle next to me: "Hello mate, how are you doing?"
Although I thought that it was a bit strange, I didn't want to be rude, so I replied, "Not too bad, thanks."
After a short pause, I heard the voice again. "So, what are you up to?"
Again I answered, somewhat reluctantly, "Just having a quick ****... How about yourself?"
The next thing I heard him say was, "Sorry, mate, I'll have to call you back. I've got some **** in the cubicle next to me answering everything I say."

First thing this morning, there was a tap on my door.
Funny sense of humour my plumber has.

I was walking in a cemetery this morning and seen a bloke hiding behind a gravestone. I said "morning."
He replied, "No, just having a ****."

I met a 14 year old girl on the internet. She was clever, funny, flirty and sexy, so I suggested we meet up.
She turned out to be an undercover detective.
How cool is that at her age?!

I was checking into a hotel the other week. At the counter, a guy in front of me said curtly to the receptionist, "I hope the porn channel is disabled."
Unbelievable what some people are into.


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PostPosted: Wed Jan 28, 2009 2:11 am 
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Drakelet wrote:
The other day I needed to pay a visit to the public toilet, so I found a public toilet that had two cubicles.
One of the doors was locked. So I went into the other one, closed the door, dropped my trousers and sat down.
A voice came from the cubicle next to me: "Hello mate, how are you doing?"
Although I thought that it was a bit strange, I didn't want to be rude, so I replied, "Not too bad, thanks."
After a short pause, I heard the voice again. "So, what are you up to?"
Again I answered, somewhat reluctantly, "Just having a quick ****... How about yourself?"
The next thing I heard him say was, "Sorry, mate, I'll have to call you back. I've got some **** in the cubicle next to me answering everything I say."

funniest thing ive read in a long time :lol:


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PostPosted: Wed Jan 28, 2009 10:48 pm 
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OMG THE TAP ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ITS THE MOST AMAZING THING!!!!!
LOL
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PostPosted: Fri Jan 30, 2009 7:17 am 
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What's brown and rhyme's with snoop?

Dr. Dre

That one could get you in trouble though :o

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PostPosted: Fri Jan 30, 2009 5:10 pm 
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Quote:
What's brown and rhyme's with snoop?

Dr. Dre


LOL!!!

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"Wait, so let me get this straight. One really big meal a day then we go to sleep, no paper towels but a little bit of bread because we're not Nazis and as many popsicles as we want."


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PostPosted: Sun Feb 01, 2009 1:37 am 
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What did a mother tell Michael Jackson at the beach?

Get out of my sun.


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