I've got to get a handle on AA, like seriously
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Tony DiNozzo
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PostPosted: Wed Oct 07, 2009 9:14 pm    Post subject: I've got to get a handle on AA, like seriously Reply with quote
Alright, I know pickup and can do fine once the ball gets rolling, but I have a hard time, and I mean a really hard time approaching girls.

And here's the really crazy thing - I don't mean to sound like a hole or anything but - I'm really attractive, like honestly, I have countless girls checking me out everyday, giving me proximity, asking for the time, etc. and I still can't seem to approach or say anything to get a good convo going; even if I really like the girl. it's starting to piss me off. And the handful of times that I've been able to approach it always gets really weird in a matter of moments to the point where I feel like I just have to say, "alright well nice meeting you," and hightailing it out of there.

Does anyone have any sort of advice that could be helpful, or even semi-helpful?

p.s. and I swear, if anyone tells me to just grow a pair...I get that from my dad enough
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spinstill
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PostPosted: Thu Oct 08, 2009 10:35 am    Post subject: Reply with quote
youre nervous because youre afraid of rejection, so don't focus on that. Just go to the mall and say hi to everyone you see, and then after that approach girls and just ask them for directions with no intention of picking them up, eventually as you ask for directions you'll start to get flirty.

You'll see that girls aren't unapproachable monsters, you're just afraid of what youre not familiar with
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Tony DiNozzo
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Joined: 18 Sep 2009
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Location: San Antonio
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PostPosted: Thu Oct 08, 2009 8:06 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote
Yeah, that makes sense, and after I posted this I realized I'm afraid of girls finding out who I am cause they'll be disappointed and eventually reject me, I don't think there's anything to that but it's just seems to have been that way up till now. But yeah I just need to relax and I'll give that mall thing a shot too
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Chris101
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PostPosted: Sun Oct 11, 2009 7:34 am    Post subject: Reply with quote
I've had a few thoughts about this subject, but if there's any advice I can give to someone else desperate to become more comfortable and effective in social situations with strangers, it's not caring what others think of you and not caring if you fail, in fact it should almost be expected but you can still draw positives from it. Now I'm not saying you should purposefully try making people not like you, but if you've done all you can (in whichever way you operate in field) and they're still not interested, who cares?

Not saying you need to develop a huge ego, but "their loss" is the mindset here. It just takes the pressure off and you can be more "in the moment". "The Game" is better understand what's going on and using many things to your advantage, but you still might not click with everyone. Unless you're like some long-time PU master, which most people aren't. And about drawing positives from everything, it's all about the mindset... like instead of "oh man, that was bad", it's "hey that went a bit better than expected". Or more specifically something like "I ploughed through well with banter and rapport, but maybe next time I should DHV or neg earlier on".

So next time instead of being too cautious or finding it weird, hopefully you'll have more fun and success meeting people, especially if you apparently already get IOIs and IAs! And remember it's often not what you say, but how you say it... if you have trouble with developing any good openers and transitioning material and such.
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