GF's gone into the sudden phase of deciding to Freeze me out / test me. I stayed at hers Saturday night, it went great.

Since then we spoke a lil' bit Monday but then Tuesday she didn't reply to my text in the morning. Last night went really crap as well (see my other thread) as we spoke on MSN.

I'm thinking about confronting her about the sudden coldness, something along the lines of:

"So you know the whole not texting me thing, is this your way of seeing if I'll come crawling back no matter how shit you treat me ? Treat 'em mean keep 'em keen's a lil old I told you I'm not as boring as your previous boyfriends were, I'm different If I kept coming back, I know I'd lose all my appeal"

I'm not sure, I'm trying to stay reaallyyy Alpha during the freeze-out so that she'll see that I AM different and I won't go crawling back (even though I do want to), showering her with love until she gives in - at this stage, I'll lose all appeal.

If she then reacts like "What the hell, that's not what I'm doing" - which is what I expect, she won't consciously know she's testing me, but she so is - what on earth do I say ? I'm assuming I'm going to have to back away from conversation until she re-initiates it positively, but do you know how hard that'll be ? Especially this close to Christmas.

Help is needed and will be REALLY appreciated.

man that sounds like a tricky one
How long you been together?
As long as your sure its not because shes actually not interested anymore? If thats the case which sounds like it is, then with it being so close to christmas, you should tell her you have a christmas surprise for her but she cant have it until christmas day/boxing day (set a time a few days away to give the suspense) and then do something that doesnt involve spending money, but involves some thought and effort. (i once cooked an amazing beef casserole, got a bottle of Cava and a rug and blankets, and on a cold but clear nite took my ex (gf at the time) to the park and had dinner with the wine and it worked a charm!)
If shes just playin you then shell forget all that and will love it. Whereas if she being cold to put you off, then not alot you can do either way.

Good luck!

Rorey

I'd say it's OK as long as it's a sincere tease about it. Don't show a hint of angry guy, that's a turn off. Say something funny. You seem to have that covered but maybe it's a little wordy the way you put it.

to freeze out phase .....
oohhh don't talk to her on msn .. or any chat ... never discuss emotional subjects over chat.
girls never tell you ...... if she's deciding to dump you she won't tell you she's thinking that.

don't shower her with love ..... really ... this actually sounds like a girl who is doubting if she want to keep you as BF.

don't pull conclusions ... it could be everything.
maybe she had a bad relationship
maybe you triggered something that made her feel bad
maybe she is just depressed by other influences.
trust problems etc


she's acting like she isn't interested ..... Don't chase her and don't be angry - if she really is deciding to dump you you only make things worse by forcing and being angry. i've been there ... i had these problems ...


answer this :


how long have you been together ?

where did you met ( for the first time ) ?

did you have sex ? how many days after you've met you had sex ?

did she ever talked about her ex ? ( don't ask her from now )

did she ever talked about bad experiences from the past ?

what kind of girl is she like ? do you initiate kissing and cuddling ? does she ever take the first steps ?

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Just to let ya'll know, I decided last night to speak to her on the phone. We spoke for two hours, had a lot of fun, she had her sister in her room and their lil' cousin and I was talking to them, they're were on webcam, etc ... we just spoke about lots of things and joked around and it ended well.

She then text me late last night with a nice message, ending it with "I love you, lots".

Butt I'm sceptical that it might happen again so this time I want to handle the situation properly.

Here's my answers:

how long have you been together ?

1 Month today.

where did you met ( for the first time ) ?

At college, we both attend and do similar subjects. Also been to parties together.

did you have sex ? how many days after you've met you had sex ?

No, have slept in her bed, didn't get the full way but fooled around. This was 3 weeks after we'd become official.

did she ever talked about her ex ? ( don't ask her from now )

Yep, a lot. I was kinda helping her through it but never let myself become a friend--zone.

did she ever talked about bad experiences from the past ?

Sometimes she told me things as shit-tests, like about problems she's had (medically) and stuff. But she doesn't like to open up.

what kind of girl is she like ? do you initiate kissing and cuddling ? does she ever take the first steps ?

She LOVES to be in control, seriously for a practicing PU I picked a difficult one to start with. But yea, I initiate the kissing most of the time, but if she walks into a room I'm in and I pretend not to have noticed, she'll give it a minute and so long as I don't acknowledge her, she'll come over and hug me.

----------------

If I'm honest, I can't see this being a realllyyy LTR, but I want to keep it going for another month or so, maybe see if she will connect more and open up more. She's got a history of losing BFs, she makes a point of saying that she becomes easily bored, I'd rather prove that not all of her relationships have to end quickly and that I AM interesting enough to keep around.

But she hurt me and when I was talking to her, saying in the chat that I wouldn't chase her or w/e because that'd be boring, she said like "Bit too late for that buddy". If it wasn't for last night, it'd probably be over, but now I'm changing tact.