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TheTree
New to PUA Forum
Joined: 02 Nov 2007
Posts: 9
Location: Arizona
Reputation: 26  
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 Posted: Tue Apr 01, 2008 6:13 am Post subject: I don't give out numbers at parties |
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Hey,
College student here,
Anyway, I'm at a party meet an HB 9. She's real chill and I'm doing well. Im kinda wasted and chilled out, but not to a point where it is apparent at all. I talk to her for over an hour about very indepth things. She seems very interested in me and digs that I play guitar etc. even loves my morbid stories, she says she wants to be a CSI worker or something. I even tell her I'm planning on transfering, said I didn't like a bunch of things about the school including the girls. I breifly chatted about a relationship I had that didn't work. She seemed very interested.
Didn't give her TOO much attention, took breaks and talked/flirted with other girls in plain sight.
Anyway, after a while, I go for the number close. She replies politely with "I dont give my number out at parties".
Of course, not quick enough, I just agree and make some shit up how that's ok and give her mine. She says she'll call me. I know she won't.
Anyway, what I SHOULD have said when she said that she didn't give out numbers is "What a shame, neither do I! I guess we can't be friends then"
I thought of it later. Shame, but you live and you learn.
My mistake was making it very obvious i really wanted to see her again by strongly imploring her to call me.
GIRLS NEVER CALL
Any opinions/pointers? |
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Rye Lee
Moderator
My post count is my POWER LEVEL!!!
Joined: 09 Sep 2007
Posts: 3818
Location: Toronto
Reputation: 418.4
votes: 39
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| Posted: Tue Apr 01, 2008 6:40 am Post subject: |
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Your reply has a good chance of working if said with the right frame, because then she will be sad at the possiblity of never seeing you ever again. The thing about that, is that if you possess that strong a frame, then she shouldn't have said 'no', because she would already be feeling that.
Instead, I would say, "So you just come to parties to hang out with people and then never see them again? Isn't that kind of a bummer? Wouldn't you rather we got together in a couple days and had more fun?" Then you hand her your pen and paper, or your phone or whatever and don't bother asking, you just give it to her, because you have to be confident enough to know that she's gonna realise this is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
By using my line, you break her frame by getting her to question why she's there and defend her socialability by saying 'NO' to the first question (who is gonna say that they're that ridiculous of a person to do that?). Then you create a yes ladder, by asking if it's a bummer (which makes her question that again and want to change it, linking it to breaking her frame), then continues the ladder, by asking her if she'd rather have fun again (which states subconsciously that you did have fun, which anchors that feeling to you and you emphasise how much fun you were having, by bringing your excitement up while you say it, as if it were just occurring to you how much fun it would be), then by just handing her the phone/pen&paper, it assumes compliance, which finishes off the yes ladder.
Get the idea? |
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SoccerStud5
PUA Forum Enthusiast
Joined: 10 Mar 2008
Posts: 37
Location: CA Bay Area
Reputation: 9.8
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| Posted: Tue Apr 01, 2008 6:57 am Post subject: |
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^^^
And that Mr. Rye Lee, is why your a Moderator  |
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