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PostPosted: Mon Oct 10, 2011 7:21 pm 
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How to get rid of those annoying guy friends

Girlfriends needs training and this training needs to happen early in the 1st few months of the relationship.
I have pretty strict rules about girls I date and the type of male company they keep. As do I watch the female company I keep out of respect for the relationship. I’m at the point I can pretty much tell from the 1st meeting with the guy friend which ones are trying to get in my girls pants. There’s no point in sitting around like an idiot and continue to let these guys come around. Just like the Male lion doesn’t allow other male lions into his pride and take his females. Neither should you. Lots of guys even though they’re uncomfortable with these guy friends hanging around there girlfriend will never tell their girl they don’t like their guy friends because they’re afraid of how she will react and worry she’ll say things like you’re being possessive or jealous then it’ll make you look like the bad boyfriend. Then you‘re worried guys on this forum ridiculing you for not acting their definition of alpha by being unaffected or just laughing off the fact these guys are hitting on your girlfriend . I say f**k these thoughts. I dare someone to go up to a loin and ridicule him for being possessive and cautious and tell him he‘s not the alpha male you‘ll get killed. Until you’ve dealt with the “guy friend” situation with guys who are clearly trying to get at your girl. You don’t understand how frustrating it can be to just be sitting there holding in your dislikes and concerns about these guy friends instead of expressing them. If you hold it in too long you’re likely to explode with anger later on or having to deal with a situation where one of those “guy friend” has tried to make a move on your girl. I like to practice prevention before shit gets started.

If your girl wants you to meet her guy friends by all means meet them this is your time to make some serious judgment calls and figure which of guys needs to be eliminated.


Look for signs he’s most likely wants your girl.
1. He’s a single hetero sexual male. (Ok unless he’s a devout sworn to celibacy monk he’s trying to get some ass he just doesn’t know to go about it due to fear of rejection or if he‘s been rejected by her before he‘s simply hiding under the guise of “friend“ till he can get her in a venerable position)

2. Pays extremely way too much attention to her even when there‘s other people in the group. (putting too much focus on your girl this is a major sign he‘s into her)

3. Constantly making jokes about her and trying to “neg” her. ( trying to go the pua route)

4. Comments on her body parts (example if she has big titties and compares her to a hooters girl or someone else with big titties he‘s been wishing he could see her naked)

5. carries on private conversations whenever you leave to go the bathroom or get up for a drink. (Sign he’s trying to have a conversation he doesn’t want you hear. this situation can also happen with your male acquaintances who might try to screw you over too. If it’s a male aquaintance you know ask him to move then you verbally light his ass up and let him know they have nothing to talk to your girl about that they can‘t say in front of you. Now if it’s your girl‘s “guy friend“ you don‘t want o light him up on the spot but you do want to get him out the way talk to your girl why you disapprove what her guy friend was doing later that night.)

6. Tries to beta or trash talk you in front of your girl by making some disrespectful comment or cracking a joke at your expense. (This is perhaps the ultimate insult any guy who doesn‘t know me like that is done for. If he does this you get serious with him and say something like “don‘t even play with me like that.”)

P.S I like to point out that 2 thru 6 can occur even if this “guy friend” has his girlfriend/wife there with him… if your girlfriend is better looking than his odds are he would love the chance to fuck your girl.


If any of the above makes you feel uncomfortable its time to take action that same night not weeks later not months later.
Here’s what you tell your girl once you leave and are in the car. You say calmly “ You weren’t really feeling “the guy friend” and I didn’t like this this and this about him. Now she’ll probably try to defend him and get a bit angry but you hold your ground. And you restate you don’t like her guy friend you may need too get a little vocal so she understands your not playing do not back down. Also this is the time to add in other things that you don’t like about other guys behavior. Your girl will probably be upset but she’ll understand not to cross you by bringing by hanging around with guys that would potentially violate signs 2 thru 6. It doesn’t do her any favor to potentially jeopardize your relationship.

You’ve accomplished a lot of things you’ve saved yourself from having to put up with these guy’s bullshit in the future and having to pretend like your cool with hanging out with them. You’ve saved yourself from having to hold your tongue about any future guy friends you dislike. Your girl will to start recognize when she’s out with you which guys are violating the signs and will start pushing these guys away on her own.




Here’s the 2 most likely things the guy friends will try to do in order to still be able remain around your girl

1.Try to invite you to hang out-- don’t make plans to hang out with these fuckers they only want to hang out as an excuse to keep seeing your girl.


2. Shake your hand like it was such a pleasure meeting you-- they’re only doing to this to put on a front like they actually like you in order to see your girl again.

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Last edited by Reo on Sat May 05, 2012 5:08 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Mon Oct 10, 2011 7:25 pm 
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Further Reading related to this topic
Quote:
Kalel wrote
Quote:
Apocalyptica wrote:
I know that guys don't have a friendzone. But as a BF you really shouldn't care about thsoe guys who want to fuck your GF.

If things are going well, your GF should automatically drop those guys. Not in one week, but in months.

But i will never ask my GF to cut every contact with 1 or 2 male friends she had for over 10 years.
And the fact that those 1 or 2 guys would like to bang her doesn't influence this decision, cause they are friend-zoned, their attraction to her is not mutual, and most importantly I AM fucking her.
Quote:
Kalel wrote

I believe I already said, "This is that grey area, where conquering one's insecurities meets upholding one's boundaries."

If you'd rather see this as being insecure, that's fine, maybe that's the way to go based upon your specific situation. But just as likely is the other side, where you could just as easily view this as disrespectful behavior on her part.

It depends entirely upon the woman, the male friends, and the context. Maybe your girlfriend does have a purely platonic relationship with her male friends and there is no mutual attraction. Perhaps she is an exception to this rule.

But now pretend for one second that that was not the case. What if she didn't drop those guys? And what if the attraction was mutual, just not acted upon? You're telling me, you would be fine with your gf being surrounded by guys who want to fuck her, and whom she may want to fuck back, and let them continue seeing each other? And you'd be fine with that?

The problem is that you are using your current woman as a reference point for this scenario, and perhaps she is an exception to this and you've built up enough trust with her, that you don't have to worry.

But the average girl on the street is a different story. Women don't like to leave relationships, until they have something else lined up. So they either make a friend or turn to an existing friend they're interested in, build up a basis for a relationship, leave their boyfriends, and pursue something new with the new friend. Or they go back to someone, they've been with before because it's safe. Either way, they test the waters first to see if what they could have with the new guy, would be better or worse than what they have with their boyfriends. Women are constantly chasing that "butterfly feeling" in their stomach, and the "newness" and excitement of a new relationship. And there are a lot of guys out there who know this and exploit this, in order to steal other guys girls.

Think about this, what happens when you and your girlfriend have a fight? Then she turns to one of her close guy friends to confide in and console her. Do you want her being around another guy when she's mad at you and vulnerable and lost. What happens when she realizes how bad you made her feel, and how much her friend is cheering her up. It's very easy in this emotional state for a woman to lose sight of what she values.
And that's just one scenario. What happens when they all go out and you can't make it. And they are having a blast and she gets drunk, and she's lonely because you're not there. But her guy friends are their cheering her up and taking care of her. How easily would it be for this situation to go wrong?

I have seen these things happen all the time.

Yeah, you are fucking her. But that means nothing. One of the first things you learn when you start pua, is that women are much more scandalous than you would assume. Read "Red Queen". You can never possess or completely control another human being. Even if you are "fucking her", she still may cheat or leave you.

Don't believe that's fine. But how many times do you hear about a girl leaving her man for his best friend? Why because the guy thought she would be safe with his best friend, and allowed them to get close.

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PostPosted: Tue Oct 11, 2011 2:54 am 
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He will communicate with her as much as he does because SHE allows it. There are two things you can do:

1. Be as open with your female friends as she is with her male friends. Anything he is allowed to do, your friend is allowed to do, too. I guarantee you your girlfriend will put an end to it sooner or later.

2. Talk to her. Say it makes you uncomfortable and that you feel it's disrespectful. Tell her if you aren't enough male validation for her, then you'll walk. But when you say this, you have to mean it. If you bluff, she will walk all over you.

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PostPosted: Tue Oct 11, 2011 7:28 am 
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My gf has guys friends, never tried to discourage their relationships from continuing. Why would I? She didn't hook up with them when she was single, why would she now?

2 of them were hitting on her at the time. 1 moved on and is a mutual friend with us both now, the other cut all communication with her after his advances failed.


The only part that ever made me uncomfortable is when we had a fight, she would talk about it with 1 of them. Obviously he would talk her up and make me look bad. At first I struggled with that, now I don't really care, if we fight, whoever she talks to is going to take her side anyway. So it makes no difference.



If you can't trust a girl to make her own decisions about who she is friends with. Then she's not really yours anyway.


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PostPosted: Tue Oct 11, 2011 9:52 am 
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Reo, I tend to agree. While not letting these creeps get to you is an important thing, and lets be honest, 90% of the time they won't, there is always the line of respect.

Your'e girl needs to respect that she is lucky enough to be in a relationship with you (as you are with her) and realize, that there does come a point where you gotta learn some respect. By her hanging out with guys trying to hit on her behind your back and her letting them get away with is IMO is disrespectful.

In my experience, the best thing is to suss out who are the genuine friends (they do exist) and who are the wolfs so to speak. Once you've done that, find suttle ways of getting rid of them.

It's also a respect thing for her - if they respected your girl, they would respect she is in a happy relationship. The fact that they don't is not cool. Once you explain this to your girl, she will see them for who they are and be less likely to hang with them.

Warning signs
-Guy has tried to hit on her in the past and orbits in the hope one day he gets through or she slips up

-They have a history (lived together, traveled, family friends etc..)

-The guy is a loner and lacks male friends

-He texts her at all hours

-He invites her on one on one catch ups only - not group things

-She is the only girl he "hangs out with"

If the sh*t gets out of hand then you need to refer to Dr Jones point 2. Be strong and she will wake up.


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PostPosted: Tue Oct 11, 2011 10:45 pm 
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What people often seem to forget is that your GF herself can actually delete those guys out of her life, instead of you having to ask for it.

If she genuinly cares for you, and really wants to make it work, she should gradually stop contact with those male guys.

That is what happened to me. I didn't had to ask. I didn't had to voice concerns. Where in the beginning she hung out with male guys all the time, she later just got female friends, stopped partying, and cut contact with male "friends".

Maybe you should ask yourself the question whether this girl is really 'LTR-material', so to say, if she doesn't get the message herself. It's a respect thing.


Note that personally i believe that a girl can have male friends, but the distinction should be made between friends she has for many years (for ex. an ex-school mate from her younger years), or those superficial relationships with guys she got to know in some kind of party.


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PostPosted: Tue Oct 11, 2011 11:35 pm 
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Quote:
He will communicate with her as much as he does because SHE allows it. There are two things you can do:

1. Be as open with your female friends as she is with her male friends. Anything he is allowed to do, your friend is allowed to do, too. I guarantee you your girlfriend will put an end to it sooner or later.

2. Talk to her. Say it makes you uncomfortable and that you feel it's disrespectful. Tell her if you aren't enough male validation for her, then you'll walk. But when you say this, you have to mean it. If you bluff, she will walk all over you.
Yes especially #2 I think if your girl needs other male attention just for some ego boost she's got a big problem time to next her.


Quote:
He invites her on one on one catch ups only - not group things
Thats funny i just had this situation happen last week my girl handled it though she told me one of her old guy friends was moving to the area and asked her to lunch over facebook so they could catch up she told him only if you invite my boyfriend.
The guy tried to play dumb like he didn't know(he knew). He persisted a little more but she still decline. The guy didn't want to go to go lunch anymore after that LOL

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PostPosted: Wed Oct 12, 2011 12:20 am 
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Quote:
Note that personally i believe that a girl can have male friends, but the distinction should be made between friends she has for many years (for ex. an ex-school mate from her younger years), or those superficial relationships with guys she got to know in some kind of party.
Agreed. If one of her best friends is a guy, and they've known each other for years, he can be your greatest asset or your biggest obstacle. Befriend him, and he will make you look good. Lose your grip and confront her about him, and your days will be numbered.

Again, this is that guy friend she's known for years. Platonic. Maybe sexual at one time, but we're talking years and years ago. Not recent.

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PostPosted: Wed Oct 12, 2011 12:27 am 
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hang out with chicks and see how she likes it.

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PostPosted: Sun Oct 23, 2011 7:56 pm 
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I skimmed your post, but I agree with the general concept you are laying out. It is very difficult for girls and guys to be "friends". From my experience, there is always an attraction in one or both parties. Even if it is not acted on, it is there. This means the "friendship" is based off of false pretenses and dishonesty.

An example: I have yet to meet a girl that I can sit around drinking beer with talking about lifting weights, sports, video games, cars, guns, or deep philosophical questions like I can my guy friends. If I did find a girl I could do this with, I would be extremely attracted to her.


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PostPosted: Mon Oct 24, 2011 8:41 pm 
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Quote:
hang out with chicks and see how she likes it.
Yeah I had a very attractive GF...tall slim, like a model....was approached a number of times by model scouts....anyhow...she had loads of guy friends...i didnt like it one bit but played it cool...thing is i made sure i had plenty of female friends...she however didnt play it cool in response..
she hit the roof...demanded i only hang out with guys and was super jealous and suspicious.
I said why cant i hang with women when u hang with guys..she said she knew what i was like and didnt trust me...see...i said yeah but i trust you, but i dont trust your guy friends...unless they are all gay i dont trust em...she instead they were harmless...only to admit months after we broke up that one of them repeatedly hit on her but she never responded to his advances...
women these days want to be in control and having guy friends is just another way of saying "fuck you" AND "IM IN FUCKING CONTROL OF THIS RELATIONSHIP BITCH"...the hotter the girl knows she is, the more of a fucking pain in the ass she is going to be and expect you to fall in line and be her bitch...to the point of you winding up as a bitch and not a man and therefore surplus to requirements.
dont commit to a woman who has guy friends, fuck her but do not commit, and do not ask her to drop her guy friends..if she has any respect she will drop them without u having to make a winy bitch of yourself asking her to do it.


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PostPosted: Tue Oct 25, 2011 12:43 am 
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My gf has a lot of guy friends some of them single too. I don't get upset with my gf afterwards. I just alfa the dudes in real time when we are all hanging out. I turn them into my bitches as well. I don't conform to them they conform to me because I already got the girl. Sometimes I will game other girls and let these loser afc guys try to talk to my girl ( I know I'm as arrogant as fuck, but me and my girl got good bond with each other). Then I come over and make them look like bitches- especially when I get the doggy dinner bowl from my girl and the dudes get then "wtf?" expression from her at the best of times.

I'm not insecure btw, there are a lot of mutual friends out there that we keep in our inner circle. These peeps support both of us in our relationship. If I have friends that have a problem with her I sort it out and she does the same with her friends. These were the ground rules when the relationship started getting serious (pushing on three years now).

It might not even be the way I handle these situations in our relationship, It might be that my gf is just very respectful and loyal by nature. The values and morals that two people share might make situations like this easier to handle?

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