CLIFFS:
-seen girl around for around 5 months, always thought she was hot
-didn't really make effort to speak (thinking that would make her more interested in me seeing as though literally EVERY guy was trying to get in there)
-seems to have worked, in the last month she starts talking to me, flirty conversations, friends say she doesn't even make an effort to talk to them
-friends say she's looking my way every 5 secs one particular night

-party a few days ago, we kiss at a bar then i go back to my boys and don't see her til later (in the meantime she apparently started crying to her ex lol wut)
-see her later on and we kiss/talk for hours/go back to hers
-we get under the sheets and put a DVD on, kissing the majority of the time
-she smiles and says "i'm not gonna sleep with you"
-mind is full of fuk - she was smiling so idk if she was joking or not
-I smile back and say "i'm not gonna force you into anything"
-decide not to make too much of a move because it's nearing early morning hours and i have to get back
-also decide not to advance sexually because she doesn't seem over her ex/i feel i need to gain her trust because of that AND i don't want to fuk things up, been wanting to get with her for a while
-she kisses me at the door and i make my way home

Now I was a little drunk/tired and not thinking so straight but now I realise her saying she wasn't gonna sleep with me was just ASD and I should have kept on escalating.

Is it possible to recover? Things weren't awkward when we spoke in person a couple of days after and she texted me out of boredom before.

I'm pretty sure I can recover because all of the IOI's of her being into me are there. Should I initiate a meet up or just wait until the end of the week when we'll both be at a bar and see if I can get her to one of our houses?

ty

You probably could have banged her then and there. But I doubt it matters just meet up and try again.

Kicking myself, at least there's still hope. Should I invite her for a drink tomorrow night then walk her home and ask her for a drink at the door? It's been 5 days since it happened but 3/4 since we last spoke in person (again, it wasn't awkward).

Dude you should have totally made a move. She said it with a smile? Persist.

Could have switched it and said "Who said I wanted to sleep with you tonight?"

Jokes on her.

But really you should have built up some sexual tension and if she says that shit you can look at her eyes deeply and not say anything, turning her on even though she just said she won't. This was most likely a shit test and you failed. Had you gone for it you would have found out if it was a test or for real.

so should i just invite her out for a drink tonight then walk her home? I guess she'd let me in if i asked for a drink

Yep. Simple as that.

Be non-needy, don't suck up to her, don't buy her drink or any of that shit. Be FUN, have fun with her. If you can make her laugh, awesome.

Now, were you in a sexual frame the first time round? As in, were you confident as a sexual predator? This is important. You have probably already gotten comfort and rapport with her.

Now what you should do is be the same as last time, only be CONFIDENT in your sexuality, and make it known that you want to fuck her. This doesn't have to be verbal, just the way you look at her, eye-fuck her, visualize fucking her while she goes on about how her day went or how much she likes comedies. This will set a sexual frame and show you are not afraid to take it to the next level.

If you get as far as getting to her home after that, you know you are in. If she LMRs then you persist, why? Because she let you in, which is a clear sign she wants to fuck you. Read up on LMR.

invited her out yesterday and we met up, went to a bar and met some friends there.

similar story, on the way back we were making out for hours/enjoying each others company.

i came up with a decent excuse to go back to her house (plausible deniability) but she said not tonight (she had to go in to campus to pick some work up early in the morning). as things got more heated, i.e. conversation got a little dirtier and making out got more intense i suggested i go back again but she was serious.

hopefully it's going to be 3rd time lucky because this is the 2nd time things have heated up now to no avail, i realise i could have gone for it first time however.

thoughts?

bump