| Ok here we go - this is a run through step by step of the few sucesses (and many i now realise mistakes) i had on my way to picking up this gorgeous HB8 girl from saudi arabia.
Out on a saturday night with some friends and we were bored. A friend was DJing at a local club, but seeing the pathetic turnout (and £3.60 bottles of San Mig!!!!!!) we had left after half an hour.
We decided to check out a club in the centre of town and the difference was palpable. It was buzzing dude. This was the shit.
I settled myself in, talked to some friends, wasnt necessarily looking for a girl, but after seeing this group of twentysomethings i decided to change myy mind.
Up i went to a six set, but engaged only 3 of them, ignoring the saudi girl, my target.
'Let me get your perspective on something - tatoos on girls, yes or no?'
Blah blah blah, girls debate, i say its my sister that wants one, all going swimmingly. The the first mistake - i don't change tack. I keep talking about tatoos. Smooth right? I was thinking, shit these girls are getting bored.
Luckily there was missus big mouth behind me who had just a bit too much of a vocal 'no' opinion - so i followed up with 'thats so rude - i have a tattoo on my left nipple of a ladybird' (I know what the fuck?)
Obviously a lie, and i told them, bit of laughter, bit stale, so i fluffed a bit, asked how they all knew eachother and turns out it was miss bigmouths birthday.
She got up to get a drink, so i stole her chair - now im starting to get into the swing of things. She tells me to fuck off - i ask her friends if shes always this rude - they say yes and to not mind her. I play with her for a while, calling her bossy ect, and then EVENTUALLY give her half of her chair which she can sit with me on.
Obviously i still hadn't talked to the saudi girl at this point so i said - 'hey alex (bigmouth) introduce me to the rest of your friends, god you are rude'
She did - hello Saudi.
Next obstacle was a competitor for saudi - big mouth was like 'hey harem this guy wants saudi so bad'. He tried to get in the group - i asked my 'friends' if they knew him - all said no. Sorry bud but this girl was mine. He walked away dejected.
After that Saudi and i started talking - but bigmouth was having none of it - first shit test - 'what you a player yeah?' answer - 'yes i am, when did you realise you were first attracted to players?' (this is my standard line for whenever i get asked that - although in this case it was a mistake as i wasn't going for bigmouth obviosly)
Back to Saudi - next bigmouth says - 'youre just talking to her because you want to get in her pants' This really was not on.
I turned to her and said 'look, do you want to stop being so crude? You're coming across really badly - in fact i think you should apologise to the whole group'. She did (beautiful demonstration of my AMOG status/dodging of the question)
I extracted Saudi - 'look i cant hear you here' and led by the hand.
You fill in the blanks.
N and K close.
That really should be the end of the story - its not. Remember when youre doing the congratualatory guy talk afterwards with your mates that the girl is out of earshot.
The biggest mistake of the night. Fuck.
Laters.
Harem x
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