Last night in the bar I opened up a two set, both HB7s. I can't even remember what was said but it didn't seem to be going bad at first.

I was with my core group of friends and having a pretty good time. My goal that night wasn't even to be sarging, it was to celebrate with a good friend who won't be able to party with us anymore for a little while.

The music was quite loud, and the ladies just started dancing (we were in front of the bar, not really on the dance floor), and I found myself kind of instinctively dancing a little bit too without even realizing it.

I live in a rural community that has lots of rednecks who compensate for their pathetically small penises by getting into lots of fights to demonstrate their manhood.

Anyway this dude, in a tone that made me think "prick," turns around and says "Hey dude don't dance in front of me at the bar, go over there if you wanna dance." And he points to a group of 2s and 3s on the dance floor. I wasn't even that close to him.

I wanted to shove the bridge of his nose into the back of his skull but I'm a peaceful man in general, fighting would have ruined the very good time I was having, and he probably wanted a fight anyway so it would have been a shame to oblige him (even though I'm sure there were people there who would have had my back).

So instead I said something that demonstrated a lack of fear, but was still way too nice about it. I was a little buzzed so don't even remember exactly what I said, sometimes I use alcohol to work up the balls to open sets, I know this is a bad habit.

Anyway, the chick heard it, I was DLV'd and I'm pretty sure it blew the set for me.

Joke was on him in the end anyway, because after seeing that I couldn't hold my own in the verbal penis exhibition this chick ran straight into the arms of my best friend (a man who for some reason never hooks up with chicks, even though he has much more natural game, and better looks than I do) and our entire group was SUPER HAPPY to see him hitting on a chick (myself included).

Nevertheless, is there anyway I could have defused that situation without getting violent or DLVing myself? More practiced alpha males, what would you have done or said here? I suck at dealing with these kind of assholes.

As always thanks so much for your advice fellow forum-members.

start working out and take mma training,

or quit trying to pick up chicks around other aggressive males.

bluntly, those are your two options.

hmm... don't care for those options.

but the first one sounds alot better than the later one.

guess it's time to start trying to turn into a violent douche-bag...

added to the agenda.

now that I think about it my plans to join the military should help out alot with this one.

It's worth mentioning that there was a cop present. So inviting this guy outside would have likely resulted in me being arrested. So is there really no other option but to either be willing to get arrested, or lose the set, get DLVd in front of some hot chicks, and have my social proof lowered?

Should of just ignored him and kept dancing.

No, no, no. Do not get the wrong impression about the MMA advice. Learning to defend yourself is not about turning into a violent douchebag. It's about being to stand up for yourself with words and not having to be vulnerable to a physical backlash because you can't defend yourself should the real violent douchebag come at you.

In other words, if you got into that situation again and that guy said the same thing, you could look him in the eye and forcefully say "Don't worry man, I won't touch you." If you have the confidence to back up your words (because of MMA) then he will most likely sense it and respect your boundaries and if he doesn't....then you know MMA....

This is exactly what I mean. If the original poster is going to frequent environments that are ripe with violent and aggressive alpha-male types, he needs to prepare to do one of two things:

- Be able to defend himself and act accordingly
- NOT be able to defend himself and act accordingly

This time, he chose option #2 from above as he knew the guy was going to wipe the floor with his ass. Personally, I'm not much of a PUA (not at all, lol, I'm just an RAFC). However, I work out daily and have quite a bit of fight training.

Like anonymousdt said, it's not about becoming a douche, it's about defending yourself or others in the case of an attack. Wouldn't it be nice to look at that guy and say "Look Sir, I don't want any trouble. If you just leave me alone, nothing bad is going to happen. OK? This place is big enough for the two of us, we can all have fun." and walk away, knowing that when he comes up and grabs you (which everybody will see), you could take him down immediately?

You've gotta learn how to handle stuff like this graciously, which it seems like you did.

You diffused the situation, and you did so the best way you knew how.

But you're still guilting yourself into feeling bad about it, and you're still going out to GET chicks, which is ultimately, in the grand scheme of things, gonna fuck you up over and over again.

YOU SHOULDN'T BEAT YOURSELF UP about this girl, this alpha dude, or the situation.

You should be having FUN, not trying to get girls or trying to impress girls!

And I know this isn't easy, and it's probably not what you want to hear.

But you won't have the girls you want until you start having the girls you want.

Attraction starts IN YOU. In your beliefs and ideas about the social world.

Once you get this, amogs WILL NOT matter or make a difference. You will be unstoppable for the most part, and have girls throwing themselves at you.

Best of luck, md1

hard to pick up the chick when you are busy picking your teeth up off the floor.

or so i've been told.

i would have ignored him and right away asked the two girls if they were with him (even tho i knew he wasn't). and i would have told the girls as well that the guy said i was blocking him from you two. that forces the girls to make a decision, a very fast decision. lol gameover

This is genius.

I need to learn to come up with shit like that on the fly.
I keep telling myself that when I go out, and truly I was indeed having fun... but I suppose my actions do demonstrate the opposite (that I want to impress chicks) don't they? Then again if I'm not to some extent telling myself I'm here to impress chicks then I'll never end up opening any sets anyway and I'd have been up my friends' asses the whole night, which is bad too, right? Where's the middle ground?

You gotta go out and play the field to get better, but you're not going out to play the field... this is so confusing...

I handled it graciously, the problem is the gracious thing to do is the pussy thing to do, and pussy doesn't beget pussy, right?

I think I could have took this guy, and if not I know there were dudes there who had my back. It's just that over the years I've forced myself to not be a dickhead, it's a philosophy thing, that's why I held back my first instinct response of "Fuck you! I'll dance where I damn please!" (Which would have elicited the exact same response as Mack's "Listen sir... for the two of us." response)

I guess it's a defense-mechanism to living in this area, people around here like to fight and have drama at the drop of a hat. They have nothing better to do (and the dude was sitting alone at the bar not macking on chicks, he was probably just jealous).

It seems like some of you think I did the right thing and that when my game is tight enough bullshit like this will be irrelevant anyway, and some of you think I should have gone with my first instinct response and let the ladies see me and my friends break this fucker. Hmm.... gonna have to put alot more thought into this subject...

I did like the suggestion of ignoring and continuing to dance. I think if something like this were to ever happen again that's what I'd do. Though that's inviting a fight too. Think I just gotta get out of this area to a place where the venue actually IS big enough for the two of us...

I actually wasn't beating myself up about this one either, I was THRILLED to see my best friend hitting on a girl. So happy that it made my failure completely irrelevant... but I still see your point. When I retro-analyze situations like this for self improvement purposes I like to criticize myself so I can maybe figure out how to better handle the situation next time. That night I feel I truly did have a "there's a million other chicks out there" attitude (and if we lived in a bigger city, I'd have been talking to one of them immediately, but logistically this was not possible... yes my area is that small).
You're talking about pre-selection, right? How do you break out of the cycle of not having the girls you want once it's been firmly established by years of not having the girls you want?

Flip the tables.

You're sitting here saying you got out-alpha'ed by a guy who simply walked up and basically bitch-threatened you off.

Is that what an alphamale is?

If you walked into a club and saw another PUA hitting on a girl, and you walked up into his game and threatened him, you think the girl would be impressed?

Fuck no. A girl doesn't want a warmongering douchebag any more than an absolute pussy. Ignore him and overpower him with wit rather than strength. I bet even if he tried to wipe the floor with you, you'd have friends having your back, and as long as you played it cool the girl would probably think you're a real badass just for standing your ground and shit, ending up talking to you later/giving her a night she didn't forget.

Ignore the douche or give an acknowledging response. Could've turned to the lady/ladies (and your friends) and said "You heard him guys, let's go dance!" (you said the girls were subconsciously dancing, anyway, no?).

Hmm... my instinct was telling me that wouldn't have worked, for some reason, not sure why, but I was sure of it.

Besides, Mystery says the dance floor is a trap.

But I like your perspective here, I never thought about it like that (would a woman like a warmongering douche), guess if they would then the women in question weren't worth my time to begin with!

I think that about solves this in the way I was looking for.

This... I would've just looked at him and make the "shhh" symbol with my lips and fingers... then keep dancing. If he says anything else... ignore it completely.

Thank you silent. I think this is exactly what I'll do if I ever find myself in this situation again.

Violence solves everything

I'm joking...

A little bit...

But seriously, working out and training in boxing/muay thai/MMA is the best idea. That way you will have more confidence around guys. You won't find many boxers/fighters going out of their way to avoid guys like these. They'll have much more confident body language, they'll take up more space, they'll hold eye contact with everybody... If you look like a pussy guys will treat you like one. If you don't, they won't. I'm a 5'4" guy and I hardly ever get this kind of shit, which I think is because I'm confident that I can look after myself if anybody starts (I've trained in boxing for years, and more recently muay thai and MMA). There's no way I would have moved for that prick, you should have just completely ignored him.