I feel that my whole pickup is going backwards day-by-day.

I mean I'm good looking enough to attract girls, I'm always around girls when I go out, and I have an amazing personality that can get any girl, but I'm no longer approaching new girls anymore.

Note that I said NEW girls.

Two days ago (Friday) I was out with one of the groups that I like (5 girls, and 2 guys, one of them is me). I've hooked up with 3 out of the 5 girls with us but I preferred that we stay friends so that things don't get out of hand sooner or later, and I really like the girls as friends. I already have 3 friends with benefits and they are HB8s and 9s. However, this HB8 was giving me signals on Friday and I literally did not approach her. I don't know why this is happening, I just don't know. Is it out of fear? Is it that I'm showing off too much? I mean it can't be fear when I have everything I want and I've done approaching tons of times in the past. At the end of the night, her friends leave and she runs up to me from no-fucking-where and tells me to give her my phone, she puts her phone number and leaves. The girl really liked me, but I pussied out, and she fucking approached me instead of the other way around.

I don't get why this is happening. I personally believe that I'm a god at this PUA thing but it's slightly declining over time. Is it possible because of 10 hours of work daily + gym for 2 hours? Is it fatigue? Anxiety? Showing off?

Any response would be decently appreciated.

Hey dude, it doesn't sound like your going backwards to me. But for what it's worth I would say that you have put too high expectation on yourself and your too afraid to fail. You want to succeed every time, you want 100% strike rate. So instead of failure you have chosen not to try, because if you don't try then that is not a fail?? Right! You don't need to test yourself and potentially fail because you have your beneficial friends to fall back on. Lucky you (BTW I am in a similar space but now very sick of the same ole).

The thing is one must get over this perfectionist attitude and see the interaction with new girlies as success and growth. It is not a win or lose game but a chance to further your (and hers) life experiences.

That's really inspiring, thanks a lot.

I think that fearing failure from too many success breeds anxiety as you discussed. I just have to go with that "Fuck it" attitude again and approach more girls. It's not that I want to get rid of my Friends with Benefits that I have, they are lovely and I adore them for the personalities and impact they have on my life. But sometimes you reach a point where you settle for what you have, and that's when things start to degrade. I have more experiences to pursue and a lot to look forward to and learn from.

Thanks again for the help. Going to see what happens this week.

Just sounds like you have too much on your plate at the moment and you're not bothered with others. You have a bunch of girls willing to jump your dick, can have sex when you want and you're not really crazy about having the same old HB8s.

Maybe you need a challenge, maybe you need a woman that will test you and make you work harder. The thrill of the hunt kind of thing. I was like this myself, it comes back every now and then too and it sucks. You have women approach you, buy you drinks, ask for your number and beg to come back to yours but when you're in that mood you just fall flat on your face and don't try.. or feel like a tosser for not approaching that HB8 or HB9 and fuck up when she approaches you.

Be careful with this because the continuous "failure" to approach then invite them to approach you will fall against you... At least it did for me and I took a serious nosedive in my game. Feels like you're going backwards when the reality is you've just done a really good job and there's not much challenge there... next thing you know it's a month later and you're pussying out on approaching woman, relying on them approaching you.

Exact same scenario as you discussed happened, but I got back on my feet yesterday.

I started off my night approaching decently because I had to meet this girl who gave me her number at a bar last week. It worked wonders, I was confident to the point that I was flirting with a girl and her boyfriend was beside her, he was too weak and she was bored. Didn't do any harm though, I hate getting in the way of 2 couples and I don't want to be the reason of a breakup when I don't want to even commit to the girl. The night went on great. I have a date on monday with this HB9, she's really confusing but I like her, she's unique.

Approached around 3 sets the whole night, made some decent friends and I stayed around an hour with each group and I'm glad that the people there liked me. Ended up with my friends who had a huge table and the mood was amazing.

I have to stay in this positive state of mind. Yes, I will date and I will keep gaming until it's exclusive.

Thanks a lot for the responses

Ho Xoved,

Having read your story here, I've got a feeling that your only problem is not having the right value that would back up your positive belief in yourself as a sexually free man.

If you're still a little bit confused about what I'm talking about here, just stay with me, and I'll make sure that you totally understand what I mean.

Everything you say and do to women is based on what you believe. Let me explain on your example.

You said that you hooked up with 3 girls who are something like your friends with benefits. What this is telling me is that you most likely believe on your subconscious level something like this: 'There's no fucking way that any one of this girls would like to have sex with me because they simply wouldn't want to have sex with me at all.'

By the way, by having the above kind of belief, you're your worst enemy in dating because having this type of negative belief will make you miss so many other opportunities to score women out there.

Here's another important thing about believing in yourself as a sexually free man.

In your example, that girl most likely showed an interest in you for two main reasons:
1) you have a great personality and you're also a good looking guy
2) your current belief kind of made her chase you without you even properly realizing because your negative belief about having no chance of ending up having sex with her kind of projected your non-neediness toward her.

The outcome: she wildly wants you!!

The problem: you don't want her wildly. Why? Because your negative belief is strongly holding you back.

The long-term problem: you're most likely going to miss many sex opportunities with women who're initially interested in you. Why? Either you'll kill these women's attraction to you or they'll instantly lose their interest in you as soon as they look at your body language and pick up on your negative emotions coming out of your body language.

And, you know where your negative emotions are coming from?

They're coming from your negative beliefs that are nested in your subconscious mind.

And, here's the truth on why your body language is such a big deal to women and why women easily get turned off by your negative emotions or they get attracted to your positive emotions: Your beliefs control your emotions, and your emotions control your body language.


If you want to learn more on how you should go about fixing your belief, I suggest that you check out the first chapter on my blog's page about the subject on confidence with women at: http://www.pickupflow.com/confidence-with-women.html

Hope this stuff helps you.

Let me know the results of having your new belief later. I'll be happy to hear your success story.

Bruno

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