Backflips and pick-up? Two completely unrelated terms that you never thought you'd see in the same sentence. One is jumping and leaning back and tucking, and going against all your instincts to do something thrilling; the other is approaching, seducing, and attracting women - sometimes, pushing against all of your common sense.
About two years ago, I was at a dance somewhere. There was nothing too special about the dance itself, but the reason I remember this one dance is because I saw someone do something that stuck with me. A circle formed, people went inside and did their own thing. Then this one guy went in the circle, backed everyone up, and did a backflip. It blew my mind. It's not that I hadn't seen them before, but not in person. Only in the movies and on television.
Anyway, this inspired me.
I loved the way the crowd of people cheered and yelled when he landed, I loved the way people wanted to talk to him and ask him questions like "Oh my god, where did you learn to do that?" - most of them being shocked and impressed girls. I wanted that attention, and I wanted that skill.
Keep reading, I have a point I promise.
From then on, I started my mission: land a standing backflip. For two years I tried it on and off. I would get a mat and stand on it for hours telling myself to do it, but I just couldn't. That guy at the dance had made it look so easy, like there was no effort to it.
When I was on the mat though, standing there and dreading the jump, the tuck, the chance of landing on my neck, I couldn't do it. I would go inside;
unsatisfied, disappointed, and even more determined.
Every time I stood on that mat, stalling, my head was screaming at me to do it - but there was also something else, a more compelling force coming from my subconscious mind, overcoming my urge to jump.
Some call this instinct. Others call it a survival tactic.
In the end, this is what prevented me from doing a backflip for the entire two years. Once in a while, it would pop up in my head. "Man," I would think, "I can't believe it. I failed again." And every time I saw someone do a backflip, saw that crowd cheer, saw the attention and praise they got, and those HB9's fawning over them, I have to say I was jealous and remorseful. Why couldn't I just do it?
Then things changed.
I finally decided to do something about it. I found a dance studio in a city near me, and called them up to see if they offered breakdancing. They said that did offer one on one classes upon request, so I took them up on it. I was tired of waiting to overcome my fear, so I thought I'd get a little help with it. I showed up to my first class and, besides the dance we did, I told them about my goal of landing a backflip. "No problem!" She said. "We'll get a spotter in next week for you."
I went in, nervous as fuck, practically shaking. I had never attempted one off the ground, only on a trampoline or off of higher objects.
Nervous is an understatement. I went in, the mat on the ground, and got in my stance. That same stance that I had stood in unrelenting so many times before, only to retreat to my room with no prize. This time though, it was me and my coach. I wasn't alone, and I had guidance. "Ready?" She asked. This time, I really was.
I jumped, high as I could, throwing my hands up in the air. I tucked, hard as I could, I practically kneed myself in the face on the way up. I opened up after a second of tucking, fast as I could in order to land it. I felt so confident in that split second. Then I hit the floor on my knees. I didn't land it. But what I did do was overcome my fear - with a little assistance - and I did the flip. I got around.
It took a couple more months of practice for me to finally land it alone. Thats the thing with backflips,
some people get it in a week, some two, some a month or two. It came very suddenly too. My backflips improved gradually and then I was at a plateau after about three weeks. Finally, one class this past summer, I went in just like any other class, got on the mat, jumped, tucked, opened, and landed it. I landed low and with bad form, but I landed it.
What does this have to do with pick-up?
Pick up actually follows this exact same transition stage. So many guys will see an attractive girl, one they wouldn't mind taking on a date or picking up, but they just won't approach (I know I am one of them). We have this instinct in our mind, this fear of rejection and of what might come of that. Really though, this fear is irrational.
Just like my fear of landing on my neck when doing a backflip. As long as you don't expect immediate perfection, you will succeed. You will fail, trust me. And more than once. Just like when I failed my first backflip. And my second, and my third, and my fourth... and my fiftieth, and sixtieth... But eventually, I landed it. The thing is, pick up is easier. It won't take you eighty five approaches to succeed.
It will probably only take you around three or four to see initial success.
That guy that I saw do the backflip at that dance two years ago made it look so easy. It was like he was a natural or something - he integrated the three steps of a backflip into a graceful, impressive, amazing skill. And when I was standing on that mat, in place of the dance floor, it seemed impossible. But once I got over that fear, with a little push, I realized how easy it was compared to what I thought.
It would take practice, but there wasn't too much to it. All it took was commitment, motivation, and the desire to succeed.
Me doing the backflip:
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CHAT