Getting into interesting conversations

Émile

I've experienced that a couple of times when I sit and talk to a girl (at a party or whatever) that I haven't met before we just sit and talk about boring things.

I know the most important thing isn't always what you talk about but I get pretty bored while talking about school, friends we have in common and stuff like that.

I'm not really into pulling a lot of routines if I don't have to, especially if I'm talking to girls in my social circle (or whatever you would call it), but I like to talk to them about more deep and intense stuff.

How do you turn a conversation from the ordinary "who are you then?" phase into something where you acctually interact and talk about things that matter?

Any tips?

lite · Posted: Tue Sep 12, 2006 9:49 am Post subject:

I know what you mean.
Talking about deep and intense stuff is called deep rapport, that means you connect with her on a deep level. You can do that telling her a story about yourself, and i'm definitely not talking here about routines (i'm a type of direct guy and i don't really like routines, neither use them).

Read this:

regards,
lite

sharpluxe · Posted: Tue Sep 12, 2006 11:19 am Post subject:

Try starting with odd questions like "What's your favorite dinosaur?" I think that any interesting girl when approached and asked:

PUA: Can I get your opinion on something?
HB: Sure
PUA: What's your favorite dinosaur?

Should respond with an interesting answer. Even if she says T-rex you can make that into a fun conversation. After some dinosaur talk, ask her what her fav jurrasic park movie was, or tell her you think that dinosaur was a pussy and that velociraptors are much cooler. I don't suggest looking too much into dinosaur information with the risk of sounding like a nerd. In fact, I would even restrict it to dinosaurs that are in 1)the land before time and 2) jurrasic park

If that's not working for you, ask her opinion on something thats closer to your heart. Just try to avoid sports, cars, naked women, mostly naked women, better looking women, and anything relating to anything you did with your free time before sarging (video games, magic the gathering, star trek, etc...)

I had a girl tell me the other day that her favorite dinosaur was a velociraptor and we probably talked for a good 3 minutes just on that subject, hell, i was halfway to a #-close although I'm not trying to close anything right now.

Monkey · Posted: Wed Sep 13, 2006 12:54 am Post subject:

Good Gawd! The dinosaur opener has achieved such notoriety that people I've never heard of are teaching AFC's its power!

So here's the thing about building rapport: you have to give some to get some. Sitting and asking her interesting questions is alright, but they have to be interesting in a very emotionally neutral sort of way. The dinosaur question is not a rapport building question; it's an opener that starts a conversation, and it works because almost no one asks anyone about dinosaurs.

In order to build a deeper rapport with someone, you have to make personal statements that don't suck. A good example would be "When I was a kid, I wanted to be a paleontologist." It's something people don't hear often, and it provides a good insight into one of your passions (assuming dinosaurs are actually important to you; I happen to quite like dinosaurs). Making personal statements, especially open-ended statements that invite responses, is the fastest and easiest way to build rapport quickly. Don't talk about work. Don't talk about places. Talk about YOUR feelings, YOUR passions, YOUR insecurities, and you'll be providing her unspoken permission to do the same.

GREG-DA-LinguisticsMajor

sometimes, it all depends in the HB you servin'. There are some hotties that will be ready to talk about deep topics as the conversation progresses, but from my past experience, it also depended how diverse your mack approach is. I mean, you have to ask yourself some questions before you get into deep talk with this hottie,
1. Is she capable of some deep talk? After a couple of minutes you can get clues of her IQ.
2.Where do you see yourself with this hottie?Usually I reserve the deep talk right before I put the "do not disturb sign".
3.What is her potential? Are you looking for a armchair scholar friend in her or are you trying to seal the deal?
4.Usually if the HB gets too into deep talk, those are the ones you have to be careful with because they tend to be very emotionally attached. If you are into that,go for it. If you plan on being free to date whomever, deep talk hotties who deep talk better than you are usually the one with a biological clock ticking.
5.Hotties come in all sorts, so if deep talk helps build trust before you get some hottie love, then why not. But are you a PUA looking for deep talk minded hotties or are you a PUA trying to deep talk this hottie in sealing this deal? There is a difference.

Monkey · Posted: Fri Sep 15, 2006 1:06 am Post subject:

A few points.

Intelligence means nothing in emotional connection. When we're talking "deep," we're talking emotional, and anyone with an IQ over 70 can talk about what they feel.

I've got a philosophical hottie that I talk to because I love her intelligence, but our deepest conversations are always those that relate directly to emotional contexts.

And if you want to keep yourself from a heady emotional connection with a girl, you have to tell her that. From the beginning. When you've entered rapport at all, you have to let her know that you're not looking for a long-term relationship, or you'll be facing all sorts of expectations you're not prepared to fulfill. Even if SHE isn't looking for something long term, you need to make your expectations for the relationship clear. Statements of Intent (like a statement of interest, but different), will help you with this. "I don't really believe in long-term relationships. I'm more of a seven-night-stand kind of guy," is my personal favorite.

Rayovac · Posted: Fri Sep 15, 2006 2:51 am Post subject:

Monkey · Posted: Fri Sep 15, 2006 11:43 pm Post subject:

General dinosaurs are also acceptable, but you need to know a few things about dinosaurs. For instance:

There is no such thing as a brontosaurus. The wrong head was put on the body of what was otherwise a brachiosaur.

T-rex was likely not a carnivore at all, but instead a scavenger that scared off smaller predators from their kills. His head was too large for standard predation, and his arms were too small for him to grasp his prey.

Ankylosaurus looks like a giant turtle with a big ball on the end of his tail. I always use this as my favorite dinosaur because not many people know it, and everyone loves turtles.

sunny-night · Posted: Fri Jul 04, 2008 4:50 pm Post subject:

Wayne Elise, or Juggler, is known for his conversation skills

check out his stuff if you want to get better at conversations

Kalel · Posted: Mon Sep 22, 2008 12:50 am Post subject:

I agree Juggler has the best suggestions when it comes to conversational skills. He calls it conversational jujitsu. He teaches guys how to turn any conversation around to be an opportunity to DHV. He also teaches you how to improve your non-verbal skills. He has this bit where he makes reading his grocery list seem interesting and entertaining.

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