First Set Approach (went to shit)

F430 · Posted: Sun Feb 10, 2008 8:41 am Post subject: First Set Approach (went to shit)

Hey guys, I'm new to these forums and have known about the pick up arts for a while but have only decided to try them out recently.

Anyways, I've approached a handful of single chicks, but yesterday I made my first set approach. I was with 2 friends at a restaurant getting some takeout sushi. There is a 3 set sitting at a table fairly nearby (and on the way to the bathroom) with 2 HB 6's and one HB 7. One of the friends I was with is getting into PUA aswell, and was talking about how one of us should approach but didn't make a move. I decided to take action.

So, since time was short, I take a trip to the bathroom, passing the chicks at the table, making brief eye contact with the HB7. On my way back, I open with "Hey can I get a quick opinion on something" and I go into the who lies more, men or women opener. I explain the reason for my asking by saying I was just talking about it with my friends. I leave with "was nice talking to you" and then rejoin my friends.

All in all it went pretty bad. To start with, the girls were eating lol, but I was like whatever, I want to approach. They were pretty unresponsive and uninterested. They did give me their opinions, however. For example I had said that since my friends and I were all guys, we obviously said women, and so then they said since we're all girls we're saying men. I was talking to them for less than a minute, and since the whole thing crashed and burned theres not much else to tell.

I know that I did almost everything (if not everything) wrong but I do not regret it since it was a learning experience. I do not really fear approaching much, but I have trouble with comfort building. My time constraint was wrong because I asked them for their opinion and sort of waited for a response. My body posture was over the shoulder which was ok, but once I started getting negative vibes from the girls, my mind started drawing blanks and I wanted to eject at that point.

If you've read up to here, please leave a comment even if it's brief. I would really like to get others peoples perspectives on this, even though I know a lot of the areas I went wrong in. I'm going to keep approaching, and hopefully my next field report will have positive results.

PS: In case anyone is wondering I am 17, and in High School.

Fact · Posted: Sun Feb 10, 2008 9:09 am Post subject:

Don't sweat it. When I was first starting out I actually had a girl scream in my face out of terror the second I opened her. Talk about a new level of approach anxiety afterwards.
But it sounds like you did good. I very rarely use opinion openers but in the long run the opener doesn't really matter all that much, in my opinion. You got into their set, just rethink it in your head and figure out how to stay in their set. Get some material straight and stack after the opener instead of ejecting. and if it's a really good set, hang in there until you blow it. I lost good 10's near the beginning just because I didn't plow leaving me with lots of unnecessary regret after those first sarges.
So, get back out there and open another one! Good luck!

KingMidas · Posted: Mon Feb 11, 2008 8:05 am Post subject:

First off, you did one thing great: you opened the set. A willingness to overcome approach anxiety and actually open sets, along with reading pua material is all it takes to get to a competent level of game over a few months time.

It sounds like it was a hard situation to open that set because it was barely a social setting. Don't let that stop you, but your success rate is just going to be lower than it will be at parties, night clubs and music concerts. I would recommend for you to try the newbie mission... Go to the mall and say hi to every girl that walks by within 10 feet of you. Take turns with your buddy who is also getting into pua. Switch off every 15 minutes, and keep count on how many women get by each other without you saying "hi". The loser buys the smoothies or frappacinos. There are two main benefits I got from doing this exercise a few times with my friends:

1) You learn to shape your body language, facial expressions, and your smile in such a way that strangers are receptive to it. You will take on a "disarming" demeanor that eventually you will be able to flip on and off like a switch at will.

2) You will be conditioned to follow the "3 second rule", which is that you should open a set within 3 seconds of noticing it, unless they are being waited on by restaurant or bar staff. With the practice you get from the newbie mission, those 3 seconds will be all you need to coordinate your body language, smile, and demeanor to be appealing to the set regardless of whatever it was you were doing before you spotted the girls. When you first start to notice this happening automatically, it is a rush, and very empowering.

F430 · Posted: Mon Feb 11, 2008 3:56 pm Post subject:

Thanks alot guys, I really appreciate the feedback. I think the newbie mission would be a good place to start for it would also get me into a talkative mood. Thanks again, -F430

Krispy · Posted: Mon Feb 11, 2008 4:47 pm Post subject:

You've made the first step which is to actually attempt to open the set, which is awsome. i think someone mentioned that opinion openers aren't the best in that setting. this is true but they can still work. I think one reason ur approach didn't exactly work was because u walked past first then approached. 1st thing is u should follow the 3 sec rule. once u got that eye contact u should have instantly opened. 2nd is when u approach saying that u and a firend were discussing who lied more guys or gurls, its gonna be less beleivable if u've just left the washroom. think about it. if u needed an opinion on seomething u'd ask before u went to the can...unless u had to go really bad lol. Keep it up tho bro. its only gonna get better from here!

Cheers

LoveShoveler · Posted: Mon Feb 18, 2008 12:31 am Post subject: shut down

I wasn't out sarging or anything just at the check out line their was a mildly attractive cashier with a big tattoo across her chest.

I say: thats and interesting tattoo whats the story behind that?

She says: my X-fiance broke my heart and since then i swore off men completely.

Me: Shocked

aww thats too bad (should have plowed her if i were at all interested but i was in a hurry)

theory1 · Posted: Mon Feb 18, 2008 2:22 am Post subject:

F430, you did not fail! You can be better in the future, but you simply have to hit more sets. First of all, you should not make eye contact unless you plan on hitting the set that instant. It would have been better for you to be on the phone or something, laughing and completely ignoring them! When you come back you open.

Personally I would open with something different. Who lies more men or women works great with sets of men and women, but it won't go far in your situation. If you do use it put in that false time constraint and move on with your routine. Generally 'who lies more, men or women' won't take much more than a minute to fade out, and you accomplished that! This is why you didn't fail. Unfortunately, you won't get a number close simply off the who lies more question no matter how long you prolong it, so you must develop your routine.

If I was in your shoes, I would only go for a number close because after all they eating. Put in the false time constraint (well you were there for takeout so it wouldn't have been false at all) and go into your opener. I think jealous girl friend would be great here because that will get the girls talking more than you think. I made up a similar opener to jealous girl friend called Theory's cheating girl friend, which I will post later on here. Then I'd continue talking to the group and thank them for their responses. Tell them that you feel like a guest on the view and that they should have their own talk show. At this point some will argue but you can ask for their names and say this is the "what ever names they have" show. Make sure you don't tell them your name. Let them ask you, and see who asks you because this may be your first IOI.

Act like you are ready to leave and go into best friends test. Tell them that you and your friends are going to "x" later and build up "x". This can be any activity like clubbing or something you guys do. Build it up big time, but don't invite them.

From here go into DHV mode, but make sure you sit down and join the set. Do this by...putting in another false time constraint, neg the target and immeditely DHV. You say something like...my friend is a phycology Phd student at the local university and he did this test on my sister that blew me away. Tell them that it only takes a minute and that you have to leave, while getting a chair. Neg the target and do the cube on her. After its over, you say something like, you guys are pretty cool, you should join us at "x", the event or activity you mentioned earlier. Tell them you will call them sometime, then get a number from at least 2 of the girls, so they don't think you are picking one up. Assume the sell, say, don't ask if you can call them, just say that you will. Give them your phone number on a piece of paper and hand them the blank piece of paper and pen and exchange numbers (style's number close).

Another DHV that will blow them away is guessing a birthday, which is done by a wing using code words. If you have any questions don't hestiate to ask, after all, we are all here for one purpose!

Theory

	Replies	Author	Views	Last Post
New to Game, however lots of failures and successes prior.	1	J. Crew	53	Wed Nov 26, 2008 3:22 pm 8Bit
Approaching = not a problem! Building attraction however....	9	JackyKernels	615	Sun Nov 09, 2008 10:45 pm Chappo
I am new here and new to the "ART of PU"... howeve	2	CruelIntentionz	480	Fri Oct 03, 2008 12:55 pm Mr_Lover_Man
Opening in a female clothing store	23	Rich	2771	Tue Sep 09, 2008 9:48 pm Luau
ESP failure	17	Steven Splash	1658	Tue Jul 22, 2008 1:10 am Chief

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