*Facebook Statuses that convey Value* DHV


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PostPosted: Thu Nov 19, 2009 12:00 am 
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Some will argue that any kind of facebook status updates demonstrate lower value. (DLV). And claim that high status, important people are busy and dont hang around on the internet updating their profiles. This can be true, because some high status people are very busy and don't have time to hang around on the internet, updating their profiles, chatting up new people.

However, you can post interesting statuses that will stand out, people will notice them and you can instantly gain value in their perspective.

I found this recent study in Men's Health Magazine. Over 890 women were polled: "What impresses you most on his Facebook page?"

Results:
Clever Status Updates 28%
His music/movie tastes 24%
A hot picture 23%
Family photos 17%
Tons of friends 5%
Political leanings 3%

It is ultimately your preference on how often to update your status and how you want people to perceive you..

I'm on the internet a lot being a student and I update my status every 2-5 days usually. Just depends on my mood or if i think of something clever that i'd like to share with my peers. My statuses usually don't tell people what Im actually doing unless its unique/interesting. It's always something funny, clever, flirty, cocky, witty or interesting. I NEVER post anything like "work 4-7 then sleep" "eating cheetohs and watching the packer game".. I cant stand those people.


Here's a bunch of statuses I like. Some I have tested, others will soon be tested. :)
==============================================================

"___thinks brunettes do it better." lots of girls qualifying themselves.

"___is out saving the world.......one girl at a time ;)"

"___is debating whether or not he should contact his physician about his erection lasting more than 4 hours." lots of comments

"___just noticed that someone got onto his facebook and deleted all the hot girls :("

"___has been cleaning up his friends list... if you're reading this, congratulations! You're still cool! But don't get too comfortable :P"

"....seriously.. is there any girl out there that can even keep up?"

"___is officially (your college)'s #1 bachelor."

"___is tired of girls just wanting him for sex.. Im a human being with EMOTIONS!"
or
"___is tired of women treating him like some kind of sex object. I have feelings too you know!!" lots of comments

"...a one minute kiss burns 26 calories, so if you need help working out, I've been told that I'm a great spotter."

"___is now accepting Girlfriend Applications. Must be 18 or older to apply. "

"___has had enough of girls that are only beautiful on the outside" - got a bunch of likes from guys and girls and a couple girls comments.

"____is not for everyone. Clinical tests show that he may cause nausea, fatigue, spontaneous fits of joy, and kidney or liver problems. Ask your doctor if he is right for you."
or you can tweak it up with "until you know how ____ affect you do not drive or operate machinery."

"___is the next big thing."

"___FYI, here's a little known fact : beer does not make you FAT- it makes you LEAN...against tables, chairs, walls and ugly people"

"____ 's charm is so contagious that a vaccine was created for it."

"____ is a lover not a fighter, but he's also a fighter so don't get any ideas."

"____ once had an awkward moment just to see how it feels."

"___is now accepting applications for an Evil Sidekick."

"....forecast for tonight, lots of alcohol, with a very high chance of passing out, getting arrested, and possibly getting laid. heres to a night of good decisions!"

"___thinks women are like parking spots. All the good ones are taken, the others are too far, and the rest are all just handicapped. "

"___is chasing whiskey with high fives."

"___is wondering if anyone knows where to buy a comfortable, inexpensive manthong?"

"___is wondering if he can bring Sexyback without a receipt?"

"___thinks beauty is common.. find me a girl who can make a killer lasagna and then i'll truly be happy"

"___likes big butts and he cannot lie."

"___is the opposite of modest, immaculately polished with the spirit of a hustler and the swagger of a college kid." borrowed from T.I - Live Your Life

"___ Insert emo comment here."

more to come.
add to the list!


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PostPosted: Thu Nov 19, 2009 12:19 am 
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ya i'll add some things of my own i think this is a great idea.

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PostPosted: Thu Nov 19, 2009 12:24 am 
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I like the parking spots one...I agree with you though, I'm not sure why people most the most mundane "work 9-5" statuses; isn't that what Twitter is for? :D

I usually try and go with something clever that is topical or that will get a lot of attention because it brings up something everyone has an opinion on...like joking about the Oregon Trail or things like that. I have a lot of good female friends that comment regularly and that also helps DHV


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PostPosted: Thu Nov 19, 2009 12:24 am 
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Quote:
"___FYI, here's a little known fact : beer does not make you FAT- it makes you LEAN...against tables, chairs, walls and ugly people"


hahah quality, its goin on now![/quote]


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PostPosted: Thu Nov 19, 2009 3:25 am 
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Quote:
"___FYI, here's a little known fact : beer does not make you FAT- it makes you LEAN...against tables, chairs, walls and ugly people"


This is kind of funny :lol:

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PostPosted: Thu Nov 19, 2009 5:26 am 
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I've always thought about this but never brought it up, thanks

Anyway I posted the "thinks brunettes do it better" and got a shitload of responses in minutes. Works like a charm!

sweet post


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PostPosted: Thu Nov 19, 2009 8:15 am 
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wow great list man!! I personally think it's true that important pple don't check their facebook, well maybe improtant pple but for sure NOT hot girls! especially the ones going to college, GOD they are on facebook 24/7!!! no joke..... :D

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PostPosted: Thu Nov 19, 2009 8:31 am 
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i'm pretty much tied to facebook while i'm at work during the day or in class at night. interestingly, i never left a single status update. one of the reasons i stayed away from using them because i felt they were DLV. yesterday in the chat, Hobbit brought up a good point that unlike past generations, the newer generations do not see it as such a DLV.

this seems like a great guide for status updates if i decide to start using them. one issue i have is that if i start using them, i'm fear that i might feel obligated to continue using them. another issue i have, is that i'm still on the fence about the solid benefits of using status updates. i suppose it builds attraction and comfort with people you are friends with. perhaps this leads to stronger social proof and more opportunities to close.

i'd like to see some feedback from people who experimented with both using and not using updates.


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PostPosted: Thu Nov 19, 2009 12:29 pm 
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Tested "Just finished cleaning up his friends list, so if your reading this, congratulations :D Although, don't get to complacent being here ;)"
worked wonders :)


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PostPosted: Thu Nov 19, 2009 4:42 pm 
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Sexcellent wrote:
i'm pretty much tied to facebook while i'm at work during the day or in class at night. interestingly, i never left a single status update. one of the reasons i stayed away from using them because i felt they were DLV. yesterday in the chat, Hobbit brought up a good point that unlike past generations, the newer generations do not see it as such a DLV.

this seems like a great guide for status updates if i decide to start using them. one issue i have is that if i start using them, i'm fear that i might feel obligated to continue using them. another issue i have, is that i'm still on the fence about the solid benefits of using status updates. i suppose it builds attraction and comfort with people you are friends with. perhaps this leads to stronger social proof and more opportunities to close.

i'd like to see some feedback from people who experimented with both using and not using updates.



OMG why would pple make such big deal about a status update, DHV, DLV, who cares, pple update their profiles every single day, not caring about pple's opinion if it's a DLV or DHV, if it's an interesting or fun one pple ll comment on it, if no no. This are just for your own amusement and see how many comments you get back, you don't have to make it SO serious and care what other pple think of your status!

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Last edited by V3nu on Thu Nov 19, 2009 4:45 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Thu Nov 19, 2009 4:44 pm 
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Btw I think the worst times to update your status are really early in the morning like before 12pm or after 12am late at night, update it in times when pple check their facebook the most for better responses to the update

Cheers :D

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PostPosted: Thu Nov 19, 2009 4:53 pm 
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a guy on my facebook updates his status...in FRENCH...he's from glasgow! i hate the guy...its like nobody else here speaks french so why do it! dick! lol

Regards

Lucky

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PostPosted: Thu Nov 19, 2009 5:04 pm 
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kl thread.
for firewors night 'all the cheap fireworks out tonight but ARE THEY GONNNA BANG DOE!'

post your own!


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PostPosted: Thu Nov 19, 2009 10:03 pm 
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V3nu wrote:

OMG why would pple make such big deal about a status update, DHV, DLV, who cares, pple update their profiles every single day, not caring about pple's opinion if it's a DLV or DHV, if it's an interesting or fun one pple ll comment on it, if no no. This are just for your own amusement and see how many comments you get back, you don't have to make it SO serious and care what other pple think of your status!


i joined this community partially because i enjoy the challenge of figuring out what works well, and why it works. if you don't want to take part in the analysis, thats cool. there's no good reason to throw a hissy fit like you did.


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PostPosted: Thu Nov 19, 2009 10:52 pm 
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you dont have to fall into a routine of constantly changing your status. i update mine based on quality not quantity. if it doesnt make me smile i wont change it for days sometimes.

and i agree with v3nu. if u update at peak times of the day usually around 9-10pm for me more ppl will see ur status and you will get more responses.

here's a funny one a friend of mine put up today.

"...nov. 19th 1895 Frederick E. Blaisdell patents the pencil...happy birthday pencil...tonight we drink to you"

hahaha


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