There is this guy who is always funny in his FB posts. Normally he gets lots of comments and many likes. please Thank Paul for all this shit:) but consider is just to make people laugh, so what out cause girls may not see any value but just a guy who could make them laugh in a date ( a value itself)

- The way I bend the rules should qualify as yoga.

- "How To Win Friends And Influence People On Facebook"
Post pictures of dogs and cats.

- My doctor gave me a prescription for anti-depression meds but my Bartender is having a hard time reading his writing...

- Hey ladies, tired of your boyfriend complaining about how long it takes you to get ready? Start blow drying your hair in the nude. I promise no more complaints.

- when are they coming out with a lesbian bareback mountain movie????

- I now have the same number of Tour de France titles as Lance Armstrong.

- Alcohol does kill brain cells. As a kid I could name all the dinosaurs. Now I can name maybe three, and I'm not even sure armadillos count.

- The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. I mean, life is tough. It takes up a lot of your time. What do you get at the end of it? A death. What's that, a bonus? I think the life cycle is all backwards. You should die first, get it out of the way. Then you live in an old age home. You get kicked out when you're too young, you get a gold watch, you go to work. You work forty years until
you're young enough to enjoy your retirement. You do drugs, alcohol, you party, you get ready for high school. You go to grade school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities, you become a little baby, you go back into the womb, you spend your last nine months warm, happy, and floating...you finish off as an orgasm.


hope it helps or at least make you laugh
DG

I thought it was quite funny as well, but it appears my friends did not. Only two likes, both of them guys (out of 350+ friends). Different crowd I guess.

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One of the most useful things you will ever learn about body language.

I put this FB status today:
" *DG* is choosing to start the week in a happy state of mind"

14 likes: 9 girls, from those girls 5 are HB between 7.5 to 9

DLV score: I believe this is an 8/10. Girls feel like you are a happy dude. I have received before the comment of: "you are a very positive guy, we should talk more" and all this thanks to FB status.

btw. I am very positive, so I am just using a real fact to work on my favour. It may not work same way if you are in your early 20s but in the 30s this works.

DG

So I heard avicii made a new song about cats... "ohh sometimes, I get a good feline".

Puns

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DISCLAIMER: The author of this post does not take responsibility for any form of vomiting, headache, or any other illness caused by the stupid vocabulary and/or the opinions expressed and used throughout the post.

A whore is like a bowling ball; she gets picked up,fingered,thrown in the gutter then come right back for more

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(Be)lieve in (you)rself

Like me on facebook

No Timo, it's not different crowd, you just absolutely suck.

I see you're out making friends, good for you.

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One of the most useful things you will ever learn about body language.

"Spent the morning in church arguing with some old lady. She didn't believe that I had the bible app on my iPad."
My facebook literally blew up.

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“God, it's me, Dusty. What up? I know we don't talk much,but I know a lot of girls call out your name because of me.”
“Da only reason to wait a month for sex is if shes 17years,11months old.”
"Love is cursed by monogamy"

Timo, it's not that I'm anything spectacular on facebook either, but let's be honest with ourselves and not bullshit us. You won't become better comforting yourself with lies. But I guess I killed your inner child with that comment, didn't I?

Considering you disqualified yourself with the very first thing you said to me, I can assure you I don't give two shits about your opinion. And you think copy/pasting Facebook statuses equals improving yourself? That only makes it worse. Well, good luck on your journey anyway, I think you have a long way to go.

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One of the most useful things you will ever learn about body language.

nope, by posting clever, witty, funny, attractive things on facebook I send a message out to females. I don't give a shit that you don't give two shits about my opinion. I don't expect you would. Dumbasses always think they're smart.

Onward, this status I thought of was very good:

better to be hurt by truth, than comforted by life

come on love each other guys and make out.. No reason to troll each other on an internet forum.. Won't change anything.. Anyway, here's some from me
" hated when old aunts came up to me after weddings and said “u r next” They stopped that when I did the same to them after funerals"
"is here. Now what are your other two wishes?"
"Is looking for a serious relationship this weekend…"
"is the hottest thing next to the sun."
"is the reason that Santa has a naughty list."
"My last gf broke up with me, because she said I never paid attention to her and some other stuff, idk I wasn’t really paying attention to her…"

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In this world, you don't get what you deserve but what you fight for!

just thought of one..

"My roommate hacked into my facebook this morning and asked most of you girls to go out on dates with me.. I'm flattered of the positive feedback girls but that wasn't me "

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In this world, you don't get what you deserve but what you fight for!

"So Jessica Simpson joins Weight Watchers and now Hostess goes out of business? Thanks a lot, bitch. "

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I must give proper respect and admiration to the ladies out there that realize that they don't have to dress slutty and talk dirty in order to attract a man. Good for you! Live your life with style and class. The rest of you, come with me.

Its december, so a status like:
-Im creating a christmassong playlist, whats your favorite christmas song?

or just

Whats your favorite Christmas song?



Its not a status that convey value directly, but it creates good activity on your profile which is positive. And all chicks love xmas