EV Eliciting Values Routine

RedMole88 · Posted: Wed Jun 11, 2008 5:34 pm Post subject: EV Eliciting Values Routine

This is a routine from "The game" I think many PUAs dont appreciate it. I felt uncomfortable using the cube or cold reading, because those are kind of cheesy (its just my opinion). EV is cool cause its a tasteful way to get into other comfort building routines.

Straight from the book:
"ELICIT VALUES—verb phrase: to draw out, through conversation, what is important to a person, usually with the intention of reaching a deep inner desire that motivates them. In terms of seduction, eliciting values may help a man determine that a woman who says she is looking for a rich husband is actually just looking for a feeling of safety and security. Also: EV. Origin: Richard Bandler and John Grinder."

I think this routine is one of the best ones out there because:

1) Gets the conversation into emotions, so is really easy to transition into any NLP or cold reading routine you wanna use.

2) You start talking about something usual. But it turns the typical enterview question: "So what do you do for fun?", and turns it into a cool experience for her.

So, here is my version of it:

HB: "So what do you like to do?" or "What kind of music do you like"

Red: "I dont mean to be rude but thats like an enterview, I bet that a hundred guys have asked you stuff like that and its boring. We can talk about more interesting stuff. Let me improve your question."

Red: “What is the thing you most enjoy doing?”

She’ll say anything like dancing or partying or being with her family. Avoid music, if she says "Music" its hard to do the routine right, cause there are many genres, and she might like more than one. And it distracts the conversation, so if that happens use the word "experience" "instead" of "things".

Red "Oh..I meant like cool experiences, the kind of stuff that youll always remember"

Or you can just say right from the beginning:

Red “If you had to pick one, and just one experience that makes life worth living...what would it be?”

She says anything. You'll probably want her to say a verb, like dancing or singing.

Red “Cool, so what is the ideal scenario of you doing that? like the perfect day of doing X.”

Red “So picture yourself doing that right now, how do you feel?”

Make her answer an emotion. Its hard on some girls to get an emotion. But try to help her pick one if that happens.

Red "Can you feel it? So really then, while I was asking you this, you smiled... and maybe it’s cause I'm being a bit funny or weird or whatever... but also, it’s cause you could kind of feel that emotion right now here, while we were talking about it."

Red “So really then, even though your favorite experience is X, your core value is Y, and the way you feel those emotions in your body. So what's most important to you is the experience of Y, and whatever leads you to that is most important. You seek Y in your life. Y is your core value”

While doing this remember to use the exact same words she uses for X and Y. If she says "It makes me feel kind of happy and relaxed", then use happy and relaxed whenever you are describing Y

Red “Ok, so in four minutes we've fulfilled your life's quest. You can die now.”

I use this one right afterwards. You can use something similar to seal the deal.

Red: "Ok, I learned this from an ex. But I never got my core value."

HB "Why?"

Red "Cause I like doing so many things. But now I've discovered that my core value is passion. I enjoy doing stuff passionately. In my job I always try to do stuff the right way, like it matters. When I talk to someone interesting I try to make the conversation passionate, like it matters. I appreciate stuff done with passion. Passion its what makes life woth living.....well, at least for me"

This is a little model so you can remember EV easly.

1. Get her favorite activity
2. Get her description of her favorite activity in an ideal setting
3. Ask what emotion she gets while she pictures this
5. Tell her that she is not much into her activity. She is really into the emotion she mentioned. Thats her core value. Her quest.
6. Now she can die happy

I posted it like I ussually do it. So the model its just the basic stuff. Build your own version of the routine from it.

RedMole88 · Posted: Wed Jun 11, 2008 5:41 pm Post subject:

I'm not getting into the NLP stuff of this routine, because I dont really know much about NLP.

clawn · Posted: Wed Jun 11, 2008 5:54 pm Post subject:

You don't have to know much about NLP to use this. By talking to her as shown above, she will experience the emotions or her passion right there on the spot with you.

russianbear · Posted: Fri Jun 13, 2008 3:09 pm Post subject:

Late.

Captain Tightpants · Posted: Tue Jun 24, 2008 7:22 am Post subject:

This is very interesting. Thanks for posting it. I'll be sure to use it.

The Big Bad Wolf · Posted: Fri Jun 27, 2008 2:07 pm Post subject:

This is a simple and effective NLP pattern,
By having her re-experience an enjoyable experience she will go back and feel this over again, you'll literally see her light up, enjoying the thought of it, and while she does this with you, her subconscious links these good feelings to you.
^^

This is how easy applied NLP is, and you don't have to know the reasoning behind this, but I enjoy knowing the "how" of things.

Nicely done.

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