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timmy_laf
PUA Forum Enthusiast
Joined: 24 Jul 2008
Posts: 37
Location: Australia
Reputation: 4.4  
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 Posted: Fri Jul 25, 2008 5:20 pm Post subject: Does this sound like a good opener to you? Help?!? |
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First post!!!
Theres this girl that I met through work, weve had face to face contact once or twice but didnt talk a whole lot, but I was getting some IOIs (touch)...
Anyway dont have her number or anything but we added each other on facebook the other day, i know she is a huge harry potter fan... anyway was thinkin of sending her a message along the lines of
" Hey, do I know you? Are you the girl that was no so subtley checking me out at quidditch practice the other day?  "
(Quidditch is the sport they play in Harry Potter btw for those who dont know)
Is that enough C&F? Cheers boys! |
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Devious
PUA Forum Enthusiast
Joined: 07 Jul 2008
Posts: 42
Reputation: 9.4
votes: 1
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| Posted: Fri Jul 25, 2008 10:10 pm Post subject: |
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First off, you've already met this person, so you anything you say at this point isn't really an opener.
Secondly, reword your line as a statement/accusation. i.e. "Hey I know you! You're that girl who was not so subtly checking me out at quidditch practice!"
Thirdly, I don't mean to sound harsh, but posts like this one are annoying... the way you're going to get better is by learning to calibrate for yourself. Try stuff in the field, and remember what works and what doesn't! It sounds like you're afraid of making mistakes, and I suspect you are a little too attached to this outcome. |
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timmy_laf
PUA Forum Enthusiast
Joined: 24 Jul 2008
Posts: 37
Location: Australia
Reputation: 4.4
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| Posted: Fri Jul 25, 2008 10:23 pm Post subject: |
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| Devious wrote: | | It sounds like you're afraid of making mistakes, and I suspect you are a little too attached to this outcome. |
I think you picked me pretty well there... and this is one of the things i need to overcome to become a PUA. |
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TheAce
PUA Forum Addict
Joined: 25 Apr 2008
Posts: 223
Location: South West, UK
Reputation: 34.8
votes: 4
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| Posted: Fri Jul 25, 2008 10:29 pm Post subject: |
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| Devious wrote: |
Thirdly, I don't mean to sound harsh, but posts like this one are annoying... the way you're going to get better is by learning to calibrate for yourself. Try stuff in the field, and remember what works and what doesn't! It sounds like you're afraid of making mistakes, and I suspect you are a little too attached to this outcome. |
I disagree on this, yes of course you learn the most through practice and failure is naturally a part of that. But if you dont understand what makes an effective opener of a particular style its simply trial and error untill one works. He asks for advice so that we can tweak it and tell him whats good and bad about it. It allows him to calibrate it for himself in the future.
Otherwise its like trying to learn tiddlywinks on your own, of course its possible. But dammit I wished someone told me I had my wrist positioned at too sharp and angle early on.
You do have a good understanding to realise that it is a sign of fear of failure, and you did actually help him however. |
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timmy_laf
PUA Forum Enthusiast
Joined: 24 Jul 2008
Posts: 37
Location: Australia
Reputation: 4.4
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| Posted: Sat Jul 26, 2008 6:36 am Post subject: |
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Ok... so i got over my AA / fear of failure and just did it anyway... who cares what anyone thinks.
Ill let you know how I go |
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funky_85
New to PUA Forum
Joined: 25 Jul 2008
Posts: 3
Reputation: 0.3
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| Posted: Sat Jul 26, 2008 7:48 am Post subject: |
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| timmy_laf wrote: | Ok... so i got over my AA / fear of failure and just did it anyway... who cares what anyone thinks.
Ill let you know how I go |
word.....good shit! |
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Devious
PUA Forum Enthusiast
Joined: 07 Jul 2008
Posts: 42
Reputation: 9.4
votes: 1
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| Posted: Sat Jul 26, 2008 3:39 pm Post subject: |
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| TheAce wrote: |
I disagree on this, yes of course you learn the most through practice and failure is naturally a part of that. But if you dont understand what makes an effective opener of a particular style its simply trial and error untill one works. He asks for advice so that we can tweak it and tell him whats good and bad about it. It allows him to calibrate it for himself in the future.
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A good point. As long as people are looking for constructive criticism, and make an effort themselves instead of just asking "what should I say?" they will improve.
It is important, though, that people ask for advice for the sake of honing their skills. If people are just looking for someone to tell them what to say so that they don't screw up with this one "special" girl, they probably will screw up, and they won't improve.
BTW, good job Timmy. It sounds like you've got the right attitude. Hope it goes well! |
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TheAce
PUA Forum Addict
Joined: 25 Apr 2008
Posts: 223
Location: South West, UK
Reputation: 34.8
votes: 4
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| Posted: Sat Jul 26, 2008 5:05 pm Post subject: |
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| Devious wrote: |
It is important, though, that people ask for advice for the sake of honing their skills. If people are just looking for someone to tell them what to say so that they don't screw up with this one "special" girl, they probably will screw up, and they won't improve.
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Exactly, I agree entirely. |
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jurupa
PUA Forum Zealot
Joined: 18 May 2008
Posts: 394
Location: OC, California
Reputation: 50.8
votes: 1
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| Posted: Sat Jul 26, 2008 6:35 pm Post subject: |
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| Devious wrote: | | First off, you've already met this person, so you anything you say at this point isn't really an opener. |
Yes he has met the girl already, but he has not open to her to build her attraction yet. And since they have barely talk to each other, he might as well use a real opener and not a quasi opener which seem he was leaning to.
| Devious wrote: | | TheAce wrote: |
I disagree on this, yes of course you learn the most through practice and failure is naturally a part of that. But if you dont understand what makes an effective opener of a particular style its simply trial and error untill one works. He asks for advice so that we can tweak it and tell him whats good and bad about it. It allows him to calibrate it for himself in the future.
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A good point. As long as people are looking for constructive criticism, and make an effort themselves instead of just asking "what should I say?" they will improve.
It is important, though, that people ask for advice for the sake of honing their skills. If people are just looking for someone to tell them what to say so that they don't screw up with this one "special" girl, they probably will screw up, and they won't improve.
BTW, good job Timmy. It sounds like you've got the right attitude. Hope it goes well! |
I like to this this forum as the class room so to speak and when I go out to pick up girls is the homework/test part of the class room. |
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timmy_laf
PUA Forum Enthusiast
Joined: 24 Jul 2008
Posts: 37
Location: Australia
Reputation: 4.4
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| Posted: Sun Jul 27, 2008 8:32 am Post subject: |
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Ok, so I changed my message a little before I sent it but I got a response back already... now I just gotta think of what to send back :S I love facebook... gives me time to think
Me
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Hey I know you! You're that girl who was not so subtly checking me out at quidditch practice! That Wronski Feint was pretty impressive huh?
PS. Hi
HB
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baha. what gave me away?
i am currently listening to harry on audio cd.
...am i cool or what?
haha
p.s. hi back!
Im thinkin i need to neg her... lol prolly should neg her for liking harry potter
Maybe something like...
Hmmm... constant staring does tend to give it away, but thats ok... it's understandable.
Cool? Nah! Harry isnt that great!
PS. How are you? |
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fsidontknow
Member of PUA Forum
Joined: 17 Jul 2008
Posts: 119
Reputation: 16.5
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| Posted: Sun Jul 27, 2008 10:15 am Post subject: |
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if you want to neg her you can say something like, on a scale from 1-10 I would rate your coolness a 3.
but I am not sure if that is the right approach for this case. i'll let other eleberate |
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timmy_laf
PUA Forum Enthusiast
Joined: 24 Jul 2008
Posts: 37
Location: Australia
Reputation: 4.4
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| Posted: Sun Jul 27, 2008 2:12 pm Post subject: |
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| fsidontknow wrote: | if you want to neg her you can say something like, on a scale from 1-10 I would rate your coolness a 3.
but I am not sure if that is the right approach for this case. i'll let other eleberate |
Lol... that suggestion doesnt sound too bad! But Id like to know why I shouldnt use this approach?
Lovin this site so far... since Ive joined I have another 3 convos going that im honing my skills on... but I think ill go solo on those, so I can learn from my mistakes. |
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Hopeless Romantic
Member of PUA Forum
Joined: 23 Jan 2008
Posts: 190
Reputation: 33.6
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| Posted: Sun Jul 27, 2008 3:14 pm Post subject: |
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| fsidontknow wrote: | if you want to neg her you can say something like, on a scale from 1-10 I would rate your coolness a 3.
but I am not sure if that is the right approach for this case. i'll let other eleberate |
I'm agreeing. I'm not sure this is the best approach either. Is she a HB9 or 10? Does she know she's that good looking? I would just keep on being playful with her.
Remember to not respond too quickly. Take you're time responding, its facebook so you have a lot more time to just chill. |
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timmy_laf
PUA Forum Enthusiast
Joined: 24 Jul 2008
Posts: 37
Location: Australia
Reputation: 4.4
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| Posted: Mon Jul 28, 2008 7:05 am Post subject: |
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Hmmm... what if I neg harry potters coolness rather than her own? something like...
"On a scale of 1-10 I rate harry's coolness at about 3
You seem pretty cool... but im undecided yet, so you're going to have to give me 3 reasons why you are cool!"
Or would it still be a bit early for this? In which case I could just keep playing along with the whole playful thing I started in the first message...
"Hmmm... constant staring does tend to give the 'checking out' away, but thats ok... it's understandable. I have some tickets to watch me play against the Bulgarian national team and beat the pants off the world famous Viktor Krum in a few days... and Ive decided you are coming!
PS. How are you?"
Decisions, Decisions! |
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timmy_laf
PUA Forum Enthusiast
Joined: 24 Jul 2008
Posts: 37
Location: Australia
Reputation: 4.4
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| Posted: Tue Jul 29, 2008 8:35 am Post subject: |
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Ah well... sent my reply yesterday... see how I go... she was on today but no reply... so maybe she is playin games...
Anywho... decided to go sarging on Myspace... already got positive response from a HB10 with the are you shy line... lol... 2 messages and she already wants my msn... told her she has to work for it hahaha!
Seriously guys... cant thank u enough my confidence is growing incredibly just by breaking the barrier and doing some online sarging... next step... face to face |
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