Intro.

This is going to be a huge ongoing post, so learn whats in this in sections

First I can't stress this enough but become a good listener, just don't listen to what the person is saying but listen to yourself, listen to what your brain is saying, how do you feel? what do you know? Listen to everything, listen out for subjects thats worked, be completely aware.

A little on conversational make up.
Mix up your questions with statements and your statements with questions, don't just ask questions or talk in statements all the time but mix them up

A little warning Practice, Practice, Practice at every oppertunity, it will not be an over night thing so keep at it, don't be disheartened, it will take a little time to start to gauge normal societal small talk and conversation if you don't have a grasp of it already but trust me on this that this works and with in a few weeks there will be a huge difference in your conversational skills!!!!!!!!!!!!

Just be aware of what people are talking about and whats seen as normal

ASLO! do not move to the next exercise until you have mastered the one before, and if you get to say section 3 but find yourself slipping go back on what you have already learnt and refresh yourself

Section 1

What most of your Questions and Statements are about

Questions

Two types of questions that are good to use that we will look at,

Information gathering questions

The greatest of the information questions, is... asking what someone is doing "what are you doing?" (and all its variations)

You use these types of questions to start a conversation topic or to change threads, these can be any of the traditional Qualifiers "what do you do for fun?"

Other examples,

"What are you guys up to tonight?"

"What brought u guys out tonight?"

"Who you out with tonight?"

"What are you drinking?"

"Where else do you guys go out?"

"How do you guys all know each other?" (if you are ever stuck for a transition this question is king in a bar or club when interacting with a group)

"So what do you do when you're not out at (venue)?”

(you can 100% ask any of these questions, you just need to have somewhere to go with them, you'll see how in the routines section further down the page)

Extention questions

You use these to extend what other people are talking about, you're asking their opinions and thoughts on what they are talking about.

"whys that?"

"so what do you think of..."

"do you not think that..."


Statements

Your statements should be based on these things to make good conversation

1. Your thoughts, feelings and opinions

E.g.

"I don't think that..."

"lol I think that..."

"What I find funny/weird (whatever) is that most people who..."

"I'd love to go to..."

"I like too.../I want..."

(Observations also fall under this)

2. Things you've done or that have happened

"really? I was there aswell last year and we..."

"what happened was..."

(storys fall under this, even if its something as simple you thought was funny that happened to you that day)

3. What you know

(alot of times this is just logistical type things)

"If you go to > this bar < between 11 o'clock and half 11 you can get in for free"

You should not put any thought into this one, it should be completely natural.

"all I know about that is..."

Ok at this point stop! or if you continue reading the rest make sure when you have read everything you do this exercise below

Exercise 1.

When you have read the question statement section do not think anymore on it (but when in private read over it constantly till its internalised) when you are in public only think of this one sentence below.

(what are my thoughts, what do I know about this)

You can give yourself a second or two, listen and make sure you are responding to what she is saying

Good example I heard was from Adam Lyons was if you ask her where she is from and she says Paris, don't skip and ask her what she is doing where you're from talk about paris and then branch into the different subjects as they come along, make sure you are responding to what she is saying

Don't feel rushed to reply instantly, eventually you wont even need to think this way and if you feel yourself slipping go back to the exercise.

remember girls love to talk about them selves, how they feel about things, their friends and life in general, Let them

Section 2

Techniques for building rapport

As basic as I can put it is simply agreeing with someone, when you know how to create rapport you become extremely good with calibration, knowing exactly when people are breaking rapport or trying to create it with you puts you on a level above most others.

Ways to do it

1. If someone tells you a problem you empathise with them "yeah I know what you mean, it fucking sucks..."

2. They give there opinion you mirror it "yeah I like that too, I think that its..."

3. Commonalities, If they have similar situations or things happen them that has happened you or you do or know people that do the same things as them "aw I was there too, did you go to the... it was great wasn't it..."

For further reading check out this link http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rapport once you know how to create rapport breaking it at the correct times will be effortless.

Exercise 2 start using the techniques of rapport building

Section 3

Interesting conversational themes, conversational frame works

You need to know where you want to take your conversation, I lean my conversations with females im interested in towards seduction and setting frames, so I start off normal and escalate my conversation towards more sexual topics, all of this post can be added to any system, its hard to explain so I'll let my LR show you what I do lr-two-friends-extremely-detailed-snl-game-vt85977.html

Good conversational themes for pick up are,

Our Social Lives

Travel

Social Dynamics (funny enough!)

Sex and Relationships
(you will see how I use these topics in my LR) any other questions just ask

Exercise 3 As time goes on make a list of conversational topics that were successful and Keep a note of then (this is why its good to keep FR's)

Section 4

This next section is the one I hear guy ask constantly "but what do I say???"

In section 4 I'm going to give you conversational ROUTINES that can be learnt and used infield to practice with, they are not attraction routines but more social comfort routines, they are fun routines that are used by everyone in real life, but they will give you an unreal oppertunity to practice and to gauge you social normality and blend into groups of people like a chameleon

ROUTINE NUMBER 1

Social Circle Conversation Routine, or day after contact (Follow ups from the night before)

Stick to the gerenal make up here and you'll never worry about the next day text or phone call again. Below are real examples of conversation that friends of mine has had on facebook, the make up is the exact same as what they also talk about face to face in real life so fallow these basics below (these examples are from girls btw)

(talk about what you thought of the night before, how hung over or not you feel, any funny things that happened with a few extra things thrown in about food etc you'll be well covered)

(these are in no particular order, I have them thrown in everywhere, read over them and you'll get the general Idea)

Examples

"did u lose ur camera! that's my department! I may have had a little more than the recommended amount of alcohol but u know what...who cares... its was saturday in ......!!!!!!"

"well ...., had a class night, and yeah i fell down the stairs in ..... and took ..... with me and landed on the dance floor, the knees arent good 2day, did u have a good night??"

"I was the exact same wasnt fit to do anything, yeah best nights craic, wat about us in the ..... omg i hope i never see the photos lol.. u recovered yet lol, last memory i had was me trying to feed u curry lol"

"I was tryin to make ye eat 2 sober u up lol, im glad i didnt take my camera out... awh .......... food always works, i tried a chinese didnt help, yeah im grand 2day still alittle tired tho, god love ..... havin to work, i couldnt of done it"

‎"I suggest a detox on ur end! me however, i get to celebrate come wednesday!! tell ..... a detox might be good for her too after her antics at the weekend!! ;P"

"yepppeeee i soo excited i cant wait till ur home, yeah the detox is on, i had way too much to drink at the wkend"

"lol agh we had a class night, never laughed so much in my life, more weekends away from now on"

"We ended up in........., was good craic but thats me till ..........., cant hack any form of a hangover, such a waste of a day!!"

"flashback of hittin the floor in vip en drink everywer lol!"

"funny for you not for me, i shudnt be let out at the weekends lol. was a goodnight havent been to ...... in ages tho, im suffering bigtime 2day im not well, what bout ..... lol, did u all have a good night??"

"ummm i know the feelin..yea was good craic but sufferin big time here now..gettin old..not good, lol"

(the next routines i'll be putting up will be focused on conversational small talk in bars and clubs)

thanks ramlives phenomenal stuff now i think aot more in a convo with what you said in section 1 (which im still on) but its helping
hope this topic continues

This is really good mate, keep it up!

thanks ramlives! Good stuff man.
Lookin forward to reading more.

Hey, do you have any tips for eye contact? Like when i'm talkin to a girl I'm always thinking too much about the fact that im stareing at her and sometimes i'm thinking too much and my eyes glaze over and it must look weird to a girl and then all the of the sudden I have to look away. Then because i'm thinking too much about eye contact I miss some things that she said...

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I'm by no means a reliable source of information... yet

Thanks, I'm starting reading it right now!

OUTSTANDING man!!! If I got info like this (break down so well), Ill improve much faster!

Thanks

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"Fuck it, lets do it"

more stuff coming really soon

WORD ASSOCIATION (EXERCISE 4)

You can use this tactic to its full potential when you are in a conversation about 3 minutes or so, basicly as soon as the other person starts to open up a little and tell you a little about themselves

I'm sure alot of you guys have heard abot this before, but nobody really says what way you should use it

Sticking to the principles above use ths word association generator http://www.similarminds.com/word/ to help you exercise (generator says answers a quickly as you can, don't! talk your time and think, and in your head think about what you would say in a live conversation and see if you can last 20-30 seconds talking about the subject)

The easy way to do this is before you go out use it for a few minutes to ge your brain going, or simply use it when ever you want

How to use it

When you are talking to some body and for example they are tallking about themselves and they say something like "I used to live in newyork but I moved to LA"

You are supposed to pick out key words and talk about them, I think its more important to pick out strings of sentences but its pretty much the same thing

from this sentence I would have asked why she left newyork, how she felt about the place as in did she like it, and then basicly the same about LA

So when talking (as the other posts above) Think about, while you are doing the exercise,

Your opinions (Your likes and dislikes)
What you know about the subject
What you have done/do
Your wants "I want to do.." "I want to have..." "I want to go..."

Also remember to think of any questions you might ask, if you can relate any qualifiers etc add them in

And stay socially normal, this you can only learn with real infield experience

nice, this instructions are a really good stuff

QUICK SUMMARY SHEET TO USE WHILE USING THE WORD ASSOCIATION EXERCISE TOOL

listen to what the person is saying

listen to what your brain is saying

how do you feel

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Mix up your QUESTIONS with STATEMENTS and your STATEMENTS with QUESTIONS.

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Questions to maintain conversation and get the other people talking EXAMPLES (you're asking their opinions and thoughts)

"whys that?"

"so what do you think of..."

"do you not think that..."

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WORD ASSOCIATION EXERCISE

http://www.similarminds.com/word/

Think what do I know about this subject and try to create a mock conversation out of it as if for real for 30 seconds, mix questions and statements.

Your opinions (Your likes and dislikes) how I feel

What you know about the subject

And remember to not just talk about the past, think of whats going on in your life now with you

Your wants "I want to do.." "I want to have..." "I want to go..."
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