why do you relate being arrogant, cocky and narcissistic with being high status?
in terms of social status, do you think cool people are arrogant/cocky/narcissistic by nature?
if people don't like you, you are not being alpha at all, you are just dellusional and all up your own ass, being an alpha is not being a dickhead, or being a nice guy, or being any type of particular range of guy, alpha translates from greek into ''1'', or primary, being the alpha of a group is being the most respected important person in that group, if you don't feel you are being treated like the most respected important person then there is a great chance you are not even close to alpha
if people don't like you because you are demonstrating poor social skills and calibration, and they dis-like your attitude and assosiate negative emotions to being around you, then you are infact lowering your status (or value, w/e you want to call it)
women can lose interest for a grand rainbow of reasons, and one of the main one's is incongruence, that good old saying, ''you should be yourself'' that they like to spout off so frequently, problem is they just don't know how to explain it, what they mean is just be consistent with your behavior, that is also hard to explain for them so they say just be yourself, they figure if you would just stop trying to impress them, and stop acting in weird ways and just be honest with expressing yourself, and showing who you truly are and what you truly want to women, women would sleep with you more often, the problem is people over the coarse of their lifetimes become socially conditioned to not express themselves because they started with pure self expression as a baby and down the line they started getting judged, started being told don't do or say that, we don't like it, don't you tell jenny she is cute, the last girl you told that to told you she hated you, don't you call mitch a fag, the last guy punched you in the face
and the conditioning continues until you are insecure and can't express yourself due to fear of being judged for it, and having some sort of negative feeling re-occur that conditioned you to not repeat the behavior in the past, then you read some book (take your pick, mystery method or double your dating) and you have been afraid to express yourself your whole life so you read this shit and even though the book isn't suggesting to be rude or mean alot of guys rationalize it that way to keep their egos protected, they mis-interpret the writing because alot of it isn't thoroughly explained and that seem more practical to the guy because he can continue to not face the negative emotions he has been conditioned in the past to avoid, so if you just continue to hide who you truly are by being mean and putting on an act (seeking reactions out of neediness), or hiding who you truly are by being overly timid and friendly (never expressing the negative aspects of yourself for approval), you will get girls, and taadaa, they will never get a glimps of who you truly are and your ego can remain intact, because it isn't you yourself that is being judged, it is this fake asshole pickupartist guy persona, you didn't get rejected, the asshole you were pretending to be got rejected, just like how guys are super ''nice'' and don't understand why they are not getting girls, girls don't want to fuck actors, they want to fuck a guy who is confident and can just be himself
having a guy be himself so she knows what is congruent is what a girl wants, if you are truly an asshole, then be an asshole, it won't make you more or less alpha, if you just truly are an asshole at all times, it will be congruent and you are doing it because it is who you are, not because you are reacting to a girl, or the people around you, if you are truly a warm and caring person, be a warm and caring person, you will attract girls who vibe well with that, as long as you are not reacting and are just being congruent, you will hold a higher social status, when it comes to social status, it is simply the person who can react the least to others and stay congruent (who holds the strongest frame), that person has the highest social status, there will always be action and re-action in a group of people, some people conform more, other people lead more, if you are conforming to a person or trying to gain there approval or get reactions or need something from them, you are reacting to that person, if you weren't you would be marching to the beat of your own drum doing what you find enjoyable and what others think of you is irrelivant, no reaction to them what so ever, if you are sure of yourself and secure, you don't need validation and acceptance, you won't be looking for ways to be accepted so you can conform to a group but rather condition the group to conform to you, if they don't then they probably don't share your same outlook and you guys don't click well, simple as that, this ain't pok-e-mon, you can't catch em all, but eventually with more experience you become better at emphathising and feeling what others are feeling, and it makes it easier to lead people while offering more value (benifit vs cost), the more value you can provide, the more people will be wanting to conform to your frame
Last edited by pumpington on Tue Jul 24, 2012 8:57 am, edited 1 time in total.