peacenik
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 Posted: Sat Jan 12, 2008 7:44 am Post subject: can I get a sort of post-game analysis? |
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Hi, I'm new to this whole thing, and have been reading this and that trying to get a sense of it and trying to creep up on taking some action and psyching myself up, but when I wound up hanging out with a girl I barely did anything different from normal. And I was hoping if I described our get-together perhaps someone could give me some tips on where I went wrong or right or whatever and what my next move should be (I apologize for the length of this post).
This girl is not necessarily a good match, because she's pretty serious about Christianity which means a) she's probably tough to sleep with and b) she's unsuitable as an athiest's girlfriend. But she might be good for experimenting with PUA concepts.
I was out swing dancing, and at the end of the evening was telling a great, but not particularly attractive, dancer about a good place for dancing. Then her remarkably hot friend comes along. We chat a little. I fight my natural instinct to immediately give all my attention to the hot girl and keep talking with the dancer. After a brief chat, hot girl asks if we want to go out to a deli for beverages. It's pretty clear she wants to hang out with me but not clear why, it could be attraction, but then I'm 20 years older then her so it could be she's just friendly.
The place she wanted to go to is too crowded, at which point the dancer says she needs to get home and leaves. Hot girl says she's thirsty so we find another place.
I forget all my game concepts, except that I don't offer to pay for her Snapple, and chat with her the way I always chat with girls, friendly and probably asexual (and probably coming across as gay, since that's what people tell me). I think about trying to mirror her but she moves pretty fast and I can't figure out how to do it naturally. I realize eventually that I've been leaning forward when I believe I should be leaning back. I don't say anything the couple of times she brings up religion because that's just an invitation to get a sermon.
I do not, as I suspect I should, end things first, she does, saying as she does that she and I could probably be great friends. I agree with her and say we should hang out. She says Thursday, which is the day we're going to hang out anyway because she and her friend are going to the dance, so I point out that's a bit of a cheat and she says some blather about having ignored all her friends and needing to hang out with a lot of people.
I'm not confident she'll give me her number so I ask if she's on myspace and she counters with facebook so I complain about facebook because it's lame, although I don't say it that harshly. She gives me her business card so I know how to spell her name. I give her mine. We take the train together. When she tells me she likes Legally Blonde 2 I tell her I wrote a song about what qualities a girl should absolutely not have that mentions liking Legally Blonde 2 and I comically slide away from her on the bench. Then we go our merry ways.
So a) how should that have gone. b) do I bother adding her as a friend on facebook (I would normally do that the moment I got home but have made a tactical decision to wait) and if so, what then? c) if she shows Thursday, any ideas? (I don't think she dances much swing so in terms of dancing I'm way more interested in her friend, who is phenomenal.)
BTW, how difficult is it to sleep with a Christian girl who mentions her religion a number of times and suggests that whenever making a moral choice she thinks about it in religious terms? (When deciding whether it was Christian to smoke pot in Amsterdam she decided it was, for whatever that's worth.)
Thanks to anyone who read this whole thing. |
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BillyWhiteSh0es
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Joined: 11 Jan 2008
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| Posted: Sat Jan 12, 2008 3:07 pm Post subject: |
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Just out of curiosity, are you in the United States?
Damn.. Religion already? Talk about getting it all out and on the table. Her frequent mentioning of religion might be some sort of test (to see if it deters you) or to feel you out for your faith. I'm a non believer myself but have dated many believers. I try to avoid the subject of religion at all costs. But when I'm pinned down and straight up asked, I say "I'm non denominational" to a girl who is Christian. If I'm asked the same question by another non-believer, I'll make a joke out of it and say "I'm a Hedonist." This is funny to a non-believer but might irritate a Christian.
As far as a Christian girl getting down-- there are absolutely no absolutes here. Some faiths (Mormon) seem to have abstinence more successfully ingrained than others. However, I know tons and tons of Christian girls who are constantly advertising their faith, but give it up just like anyone else. |
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BillyWhiteSh0es
Member of PUA Forum
Joined: 11 Jan 2008
Posts: 131
Location: Emerald City
Reputation: 17
votes: 1
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| Posted: Sun Jan 13, 2008 7:53 pm Post subject: |
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I should mention, regarding religion:
I'm a non-believer, and sometimes this can be an issue with someone who has a certain faith. I try to avoid the topic for as long as possible because it is a big deal to a lot of people, and often women choose or exclude certain potential mates based on this.
With that, I think it is unethical and immoral to allow a woman to believe you are some religion, when in actuality, you are not. It is tempting to tell her about your lack of belief, however, that you -may- be interested in converting.. But if you have no intentions.. I think it is just wrong.. |
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