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song_bird
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 Posted: Fri Mar 21, 2008 8:44 pm Post subject: Break her out of autopilot = making shit happen! |
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Is what women say they want and what actually drives them wild different? Yes. Keep in mind that you need to be sensitive to what someone says they want, but also know that for the most part people have no idea for what reason or why they act or react certain ways.
As every man knows women are built around a complex system of feelings that is ever changing based on their current situation. Women, for the most part, act and respond to things according to how they feel at that moment. As a man you are expected to be able to read and interpret those signals properly. The sad truth though is that most men are completely out of sync with what to look for and how to react.
There is a definite art to interacting with women and you must be willing to LEARN and practice this art form. If you are not familiar with a particular sport, then how are you supposed to know what rules to follow and when to shoot for the score? The same holds true with women. You have to know when to push certain buttons, how to react when a women presses certain buttons in you, and how to shoot for the ’score’.
Aside from their unique differences most women are wired in a similar way. There are certain key factors that you can use to almost completely shape how you want any particular women to feel about you. Half is putting out the right signals, the other half is reading and responding correctly to her signals.This can as subtle as her flipping her hair and sometimes as obvious as her taking you by the hand.
KNOW YOUR AUDIENCE!
When you meet a new person there are many things about their physical appearance and choice of words that can clue you into to their moral and social boundaries. For instance, a 25 year old women dressed modestly and talking conservatively is going to have more boundaries than a 30 year old telling a dirty joke (depending on the situation of course). As obvious as that sounds, you have to keep in mind that most indicators are much more subtle than that example.
You are expected to know where the line of ‘acceptable’ is with a person from the get go. How the hell are you supposed to know that? You need to use social tactics to find that line and playfully ‘dance’ around it. By doing this she automatically will allow a slightly ‘crazier/wilder’ side of her personality out and because you brought it out of her, she will appreciate your company.
BE AN ACTIVE PART OF THE CONVERSATION.
People hate being a part of a conversation with a person who doesn’t know how to answer questions with useful info, or ask things to keep it moving forward. Help the conversation have that natural free flowing “we have chemistry” feeling by answering questions playfully, and asking fun questions-not the typical,”what do you do for a living”. Don’t be a social robot. Talk about what ever random things pop into your head, and do it with flair. Be in the moment and really listen. She will give you all the information you need to keep the conversation moving forward.
BREAK HER OUT OF AUTOPILOT
You know that guy at the bar, party or friendly gathering that everyone is having so much fun around? That can be you.
The question is how do you break out of being boring? Here is an example of boring:
In Person
| Quote: |
You: Hello
Her: Hi, how are you
You: I’m fine, and you..
Her: ( she’s already bored and wondering if you actually have anything interesting to say)
Blah blah blah boring… |
Online
| Quote: | You: Hi there, I really liked your profile, just wanted to say hi
Her: - no responce-
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At least in person she is socially expected to at least go through a typical greeting. Online is no such story. There is no social pressure compelling her to respond to you.
Your goal in any social situation (online included) should be to break people out of their boring autopilot conversations. We all hate them, yet some how we forget we are half the reason the conversation is boring. Just as anything goes in life, don’t ever expect people to do it for you. You need to be the one that directs the conversation and interactions you are in with both MEN and WOMEN. Don’t sit back and wonder why you constantly are in conversations that you could care less about. Help make them interesting. Use big body language, make fun of your self if you fumble over a word, and equally poke fun at someone who does the same. For instance, if a person stutters or fumbles over a word (on accident, not because of a speech impediment) Tease them by saying, “you’d think with all these years of experience.. you’d be better at this talking thing…hahaha ” and of course smile and keep it light hearted.
If somebody reverts back to ’standard issue questions’ what do you do? Even though they asked the boring questions, it is up to YOU to direct it to your desired outcome…
Example:
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Standard Question :
“So how have you been?”
Not so standard answer:
“Well ever since dragons ate my baby Jesus figurine I’m not sure where my life is headed…But don’t worry about me.. I’ll be fine…”
Note: pretty much act overly serious when saying it and be sure to smile and laugh afterwards.
Standard Question:
“How are you?”
Not so standard Answer:
“TERRIBLE”
Note: Again, say it with a with a serious look on your face but almost immediately follow it with, “no I’m just kidding.. How you doing?” By doing this you immediate force them to turn off their automated response system. |
Now when they answer with “I’m fine”
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Your reply:
“Jeeze you are just full of your self aren’t you”
Playfully imitate her and say” I’m fine”
As you jokingly pretend to flip your hair…and follow it with a laugh..
Or
“I asked how you are, not how you look…”
follow with a laugh, and push to the next conversational thread
Standard question:
“What have you been up to lately?”
Not so Standard Answer:
“Well after I rescued that flock of baby sheep last week, I’ve been collecting Chuck Norris jokes… do you know any? Check these out…” |
She will almost undoubtedly ask for one, but if not… just roll into them and tell her a 2 or 3
Here are a few Chuck Norris jokes…
* Did you know Chuck Norris invented the giraffe….. Yeah he did it by [upper cutting a horse…
* You know superman wears Chuck Norris pajama’s when he goes to bed…
* Chuck Norris’ tears cure cancer, too bad he’s never cried.
* Chuck Norris doesn’t sleep he waits
After you tell her a joke or two you can playfully tease her by saying:
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“You know, if chuck shaved off his beard, and put on a little make up… you two would look like sisters… hahaha”
Be sure to be in playful tone, be laughing after you say it and playfully punch them on the arm.
Follow it up with
“no.. no… he’d be like the ugly step sister…you do look like you’d have a fierce roundhouse kick though.. hahaha” |
Make sure when you are joking around that you are slightly overly dramatic. When you are supposed to be serious, be overly serious then immediately flip to big smiles and laughter following the jokes or teasing insults you are giving. Keep in mind if she is not laughing or responding positively, you should probably try to cue into what her reasoning is for being distant. Are you being too pushy, leaning into close, is she having a terrible day, did both of her parents die earlier making love in a cable car over the baltic sea? lol Let her body language spell out for you what she needs. You never know what somebody is dealing with in their life currently... Just be aware, and through that situational awareness make shit happen!
Kelly
Song_bird
An after thought to this post...
If men need strategy to 'pickup' or meet women in there early 20's then as women age and have endured more and more 'pickup' attempts they are definitely waiting for exactly what I listed in this thread. BREAKING HER OUT OF AUTOPILOT is exactly what she needs.
If you have read some of my other posts one of the biggest thing I advocate is diversity in your personality and actions. Your goal as a person should be to have a three dimensional personality and a diversity in as many elements about you as you can. This will only improve your life as well as increase your abilities with women. Actually go and do fun things, create cool stories, have cool pictures. Dont only do things to 'pickup' women, do for your self to for god's sake...
Serious moments are great and memorable only if they stand out from differences in your interactions with her. Your impression of being silly, fun, or jovial being immature is a great limiting belief to have. A women wants you to make her laugh. Men need to set there desire to be the cool guy aside, go out have fun, make people laugh, be silly at moments, and then you actually will be the cool guy rather than the wannabe cool guy standing on the wall alone, or worse with 3 or four other wannabe cool guys.
When you are using humor or delivering a new joke to a gal alot of it is in the delivery. It is sometimes even more effective to be super-serious in nature when telling the joke in the middle of a serious conversation... It all just helps multi thread the conversation... (starting 4 or 5 different conversational threads and going back and forth between them...creates the feeling of-"i feel like we have so much to talk about")
Hope that clarifies it a little better...
Kelly
Song_bird
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wakeboardr
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| Posted: Fri Mar 21, 2008 8:48 pm Post subject: |
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| Great post! |
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song_bird
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| Posted: Fri May 23, 2008 9:20 am Post subject: |
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song_bird
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| Posted: Fri May 23, 2008 9:20 am Post subject: |
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song_bird
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| Posted: Fri May 23, 2008 9:21 am Post subject: |
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song_bird
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| Posted: Tue May 27, 2008 8:06 pm Post subject: |
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| what are your guys biggest sticking points in conversations? |
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Cloak&Swagger
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| Posted: Tue May 27, 2008 9:33 pm Post subject: |
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| Good post. I've watched people carry on the most lifeless, boring conversations I've ever seen and then they wonder why they couldn't #close |
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Icepick
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| Posted: Thu May 29, 2008 3:14 am Post subject: |
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| Very good post. I have noticed this too. When you have a serious boring conversation with someone they get very uncomfortable and disinterested. When you say something funny or tease them they open up to you way more and the conversation flows a lot better and then you start vibing. Teasing works magic for relationships. |
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Naked watchmaker
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| Posted: Sun Jun 01, 2008 9:17 pm Post subject: |
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| I get your point. But sometimes there are chicks out there, that are just to serious or socially confined, they just don't jump into playful conversations, crazy lighthearted topics and that's not rare. |
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song_bird
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| Posted: Mon Jun 02, 2008 6:34 am Post subject: |
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Thats fine... But she is still looking for you to not be 'typical'
It is all about getting out there and getting comfortable in your won skin, and being able to socially calibrate your self to know when and how to thrown in the right types of jokes to the right type of girl. You in essence become very adaptive... be careful not to ONLY be adaptive... you have to figure out if she is always so serious.. or if she just is serious until you help her tear down her 'walls' dont just adapt to something if she isnt the type of women you wont... Cut her out- Go after what you want and you will be doing yourself, and the women you date a favor.
But be Different. and fun. she will appreciate you and your company and look forward to more encounters with you.
Kelly
Windowshoppingforwomen.com |
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Crossed
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Joined: 02 Jun 2008
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| Posted: Tue Jun 03, 2008 3:30 am Post subject: |
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| That was good! I'm definitely going to try some of those! |
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