Best Cocky funny routines



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PostPosted: Wed Jan 06, 2010 9:05 pm 
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Here is one of my personal favs. Say for example she asks for your nationality say something like this

Her: So whats you nationality?
You- im half black!
her- Wow! really?
you- Yeah! But im only half black from the waist down! =)

this one always gets a big laugh for me.


Last edited by Unknown001 on Thu Jan 07, 2010 12:27 am, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Wed Jan 06, 2010 9:09 pm 
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Here is another cocky funny routine. I dont know if you guys saw it.

Here is a fun one i came up with to build sexual tension

Me- Omg thats terrible! haha You know how they punish naughty girls like you in France?
Her- How?
Me- Spanking! ;)


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PostPosted: Wed Jan 06, 2010 9:37 pm 
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Here is another CF when you want her to come over to our house.

Just say this
"Hey why dont you drop your pen, put on something sweet, and hustle on over to my house. You'll be my ms.cool for a night."


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PostPosted: Thu Jan 07, 2010 1:55 am 
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Here is one taken from those Dos Equies beer commercials. If she asks you if your are a PUA just say this.

Her- Are you some sort of pick up artist?
PUA- Listen. There is a time and place for pick up lines. The time is never. Ill let you figure out the place later.


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PostPosted: Thu Jan 07, 2010 3:40 pm 
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i havent tried this one in field but you guys can give it a go. A friends of mine made it and i modified it.

When telling a story. Find some way of fitting this in there.

PUA: ... and so she come up to me and yells FAT PENGUIN! And im there feeling a little embraced and shocked in front of my friends.
Her: What happened next?
PUA: She just turned to me, smiled, and said "oh im sorry, i was just trying to break the ice." =)


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PostPosted: Thu Jan 07, 2010 9:26 pm 
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Here is a CF story i love to throw in after my opener. I took this story from comedian Demetri Martin (very funny comedian). Very funny and always gets a laugh.

You: I remember when i was just a little jit my mom took me to go see a friend of hers named (insert desired name her, i use Sisqo). And I remember she told me that Sisqo was a cat person. When i first met him i didn't believe he was a cat person. As a kid i was expecting some form of hybrid you know, some one like Amok from the Thundercats. I sat 30 min in front of Sisqo until i asked my mom "Where is this person your talking about?" My mom points to sisqo and says there he is, thats him. I then turn to my mom and say "Mommy thats not a cat person... thats a cat liker".

this story always gets a laugh. Every time i ran this story on a group i have always gotten good results. Modify it and make it your own. Enjoi


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PostPosted: Thu Jan 07, 2010 9:40 pm 
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Her: So what do you do for a living
Me: Im a dolphin shaver
Her: hahah dolphins dont have hair!
Me: Well duh i shave it off

or

Her: So where do you live?
Me: Sorry im not taking questions today... :]
Her: hahah wtf

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PostPosted: Thu Jan 07, 2010 10:02 pm 
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I recall Mystery had a false disqualifier that goes like this:
"If i wasnt gay, you would so be my type."

Here is a counter to the whole are you gay question i love to use.

Her: Are you gay?
You: haha if i were to tell you im gay, would you make me straight? =)


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PostPosted: Thu Jan 07, 2010 10:10 pm 
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Haven't tried this one in field yet. Just came up with it

When she is constantly giving you IOIs and you wanna hit her with a shotgun neg.

PUA: hey what would you tell some one if they are constantly hitting on you?
Her: I dont know. ill probably tell them to stop.
PUA: hmmm ok makes sense... Stop! (laugh it off) =)


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PostPosted: Fri Jan 08, 2010 6:48 pm 
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Here is CF routine (or more like many) when your wing comes in to help you out with a set. Tried this routine once before so i would say it need more field testing but it got a awesome effect for my wing. This routine was inspired by the Dos Equies commercials. Here it goes:

When you and your wing have the two set in a good mood with positive energy, leave the set for about 3 to 4 min and leave your wing alone with the set. To walk out of the set just pretend you have a phone call or something. When you wing is alone he will then do the following:

PUAwing: Oh man how do you guys know (insert name here)?
HBs: we just met tonight
PUAwing: What?! You guys just met? Oh wow you got a lot to learn about him.
HBs: like what?
PUAwing: (insert the following lines here)


His blood smells like cologne.

The police often question him.. Just because they find him interesting.

his charisma can be seen from outer space.

The book "Who's Who in America" lists his little black address book as its major source of information.

He can speak braille fluently, and it is said, he writes his signature in sign language.

He can disarm you with his looks.. or his hands.. either way.

He learned how to play Chinese checkers.. in Japan.

If he were to give you directions, you'd never get lost. And you would arrive at least 5 minutes early.

He doesn't dance to music, the music dances to him

It is said, he has never had to ask for directions. Where ever he ends up is where he needed to be.

He has never lost a sock.

He bought a Swiss Army knife... from the Turkish Navy.

He was the very first member anywhere to see a sign that says "Members Only."
^^^ my personal fav.

It is said he never looks up at the stars and wonders.. because he already knows.

He never initiates conversations about the weather... not even a typhoon.

Even the things his parrot says are insightful.

If there were an interesting gland, his would be bigger than most men’s small intestines.
^^^ my personal fav.

He never has to turn on the lights, because there is no dark in his life.

When he walks he doesn't leave footprints, only his scent.

It is said, whatever side of the track he is on, it is the right side.

He doesn't believe in using oven mitts, or potholders.

He once had an awkward moment, just to see what it felt like.

He dosent need credit cards, his word is good enough.

His beard alone, has experienced more then a lesser man's entire body.

He never says something tastes like chicken.

He lives vicariously through himself.

He has amassed an incredibly large dvd library, and it is said, that he never once alphabetized it.

If he were to mail a letter without postage, it is said it would still get there.

When it is raining, it is because he is thinking of something sad.

He once punched a magician. That's right, you heard me.

Now, when you return to your set reopen with this "hey where you guys talking about me?"


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PostPosted: Fri Jan 08, 2010 6:59 pm 
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Here's an idea: Make all your five million posts into one big post instead.


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