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Radham
New to PUA Forum
Joined: 16 Aug 2009
Posts: 16
Location: New Zealand
Reputation: 3.9  
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 Posted: Wed Sep 30, 2009 9:18 am Post subject: Being a player getting you in trouble |
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Yo,
So I went to my mates twentyth party, was a tribal theme'd party, and I ended up hooking up with this girl, got some K closes and then a number close, she asked me to text her the next day.
When I did text her I said I didnt like text convo's so I set up a date, was good date, drinks, dinner, ice-cream, then walked her home, busted out the "can i come inside for a glass of water" then K close, she had work early next day so I had to go.
We kept in contact and then I invited her out for a spontaneous date (I just finished work sunday night and text her saying "I'm gana head to the beach, wanna come along.") so we had gelato ice-cream and i took her back to my house and F closed.. and again in the morning, yuss!
So all gud, but then her friend (kate) lives with my mate (Scott) and (kate) overheard my mate (scott) talking to my flatmate about me being a pimp and told the chick that I F closed that I was dating other people. So being a good friend (kate) told the girl and I get a text saying
"Hey I just found out that your seeing other people, which would be fine if we didnt hasve sex but we did, so I guess it's off."
I replied saying
"ok fair enuf I understand, Im not ready for a relationship, i think your a nice gurl so lets just be friends"
she said
"I dont want a realtionship eiither, Im going away 4 summer so that wud be stupid. bit i still dont like being played, yup friends."
So what should I have done?
Told her that I was going to be seeing other people? before or after sex?
Done damage control when she said I was seeing other people?
I would like some feedback cause I just got into pua a couple months ago after getting out of a 2 year 8 Month relationship.
Cheers |
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Exerio
PUA Forum Zealot
Joined: 10 Jun 2009
Posts: 308
Reputation: 42.9
votes: 2
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| Posted: Wed Sep 30, 2009 12:37 pm Post subject: |
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I believe you did what you should have done. That reply was good, and you gave her the decision, so you have to respect her choice. All though I would have gotten mad if my friend were openly talking about that with a friend of a girl I liked.
Else I can not see anything wrong, it takes guts writing like you did, and you never know. Perhaps things will be different when she returns after the summer;)
- Exerio |
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havocc
New to PUA Forum
Joined: 11 May 2009
Posts: 29
Reputation: 9.9
votes: 1
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| Posted: Wed Sep 30, 2009 3:46 pm Post subject: Re: Being a player getting you in trouble |
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| Radham wrote: | Yo,
So I went to my mates twentyth party, was a tribal theme'd party, and I ended up hooking up with this girl, got some K closes and then a number close, she asked me to text her the next day.
When I did text her I said I didnt like text convo's so I set up a date, was good date, drinks, dinner, ice-cream, then walked her home, busted out the "can i come inside for a glass of water" then K close, she had work early next day so I had to go.
We kept in contact and then I invited her out for a spontaneous date (I just finished work sunday night and text her saying "I'm gana head to the beach, wanna come along.") so we had gelato ice-cream and i took her back to my house and F closed.. and again in the morning, yuss!
So all gud, but then her friend (kate) lives with my mate (Scott) and (kate) overheard my mate (scott) talking to my flatmate about me being a pimp and told the chick that I F closed that I was dating other people. |
Have a talk with your friend and tell him to be more discreet about shit like that. Or if you don't think he can don't tell him what you do. This sort of thing can become problematic if you don't handle it properly.
| Radham wrote: | So being a good friend (kate) told the girl and I get a text saying
"Hey I just found out that your seeing other people, which would be fine if we didnt hasve sex but we did, so I guess it's off."
I replied saying
"ok fair enuf I understand, Im not ready for a relationship, i think your a nice gurl so lets just be friends"
she said
"I dont want a realtionship eiither, Im going away 4 summer so that wud be stupid. bit i still dont like being played, yup friends." |
You did good not trying to hide it. I personally would of replaced the I'm not ready for a realtionship with something like I date a lot of women and not say lets be friends but what you said isn't that bad either.
Now lets look at her response. She agrees with you about being friends and not wanting a relationship because shes going away and whatever else. But she still feels played by you. Its funny because she says she doesn't want a relationship with you but implies through her statements that she wants you to be monogamous with her if your going to be sleeping with her 
| Radham wrote: | So what should I have done?
Told her that I was going to be seeing other people? before or after sex?
Done damage control when she said I was seeing other people?
I would like some feedback cause I just got into pua a couple months ago after getting out of a 2 year 8 Month relationship.
Cheers |
I never come out and say I'm sleeping with other women but I kind of imply it when I'm talking to her. It's her choice then of whether she wants to pursue it any further. Most times they will at least in my experience. You should never apologize, do damage control or whatever for doing something that makes you happy. |
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Radham
New to PUA Forum
Joined: 16 Aug 2009
Posts: 16
Location: New Zealand
Reputation: 3.9
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| Posted: Thu Oct 01, 2009 3:48 am Post subject: Re: Being a player getting you in trouble |
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| Quote: | Now lets look at her response. She agrees with you about being friends and not wanting a relationship because shes going away and whatever else. But she still feels played by you. Its funny because she says she doesn't want a relationship with you but implies through her statements that she wants you to be
monogamous with her if your going to be sleeping with her |
haha yeah thats rich.
| Quote: | | I never come out and say I'm sleeping with other women but I kind of imply it when I'm talking to her. It's her choice then of whether she wants to pursue it any further. Most times they will at least in my experience. You should never apologize, do damage control or whatever for doing something that makes you happy. |
sweet bro thanks for the feedback
| Exerio wrote: | I believe you did what you should have done. That reply was good, and you gave her the decision, so you have to respect her choice. All though I would have gotten mad if my friend were openly talking about that with a friend of a girl I liked.
Else I can not see anything wrong, it takes guts writing like you did, and you never know. Perhaps things will be different when she returns after the summer;)
- Exerio |
Im not too fused aye, atm im just looking for fun and looking how to not make similar mistakes |
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magnum45
PUA Forum Zealot
Joined: 17 Feb 2008
Posts: 476
Reputation: 36.7
votes: 15
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| Posted: Mon Oct 12, 2009 9:24 am Post subject: |
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She lost trust in you. You are dishonest. She found out. If you told her that you didn't play her and that you cared about her she might still see you.
Trust is important. I don't believe in hiding secrets and talking behind peoples back.
If there is something you can't say in front of the girl don't say it to your friends.
Be a good person, and you will find good people. |
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J_J_Okocha
Member of PUA Forum
Joined: 18 Jul 2008
Posts: 188
Reputation: 54.3
votes: 1
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| Posted: Mon Oct 12, 2009 3:36 pm Post subject: |
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| yea u should have just told her from the beginning u were not looking for a relationship and that u were just having fun at the moment. This way later on she cant say she is getting played because u told her up front what the deal was. |
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Radham
New to PUA Forum
Joined: 16 Aug 2009
Posts: 16
Location: New Zealand
Reputation: 3.9
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| Posted: Mon Oct 12, 2009 8:16 pm Post subject: |
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| agreed, but I didn't and hopefully learnt from my mistakes. Cheers for the help guys |
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