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Brainz
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Joined: 03 Mar 2008
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Location: Canada
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 Posted: Thu Mar 06, 2008 2:57 am Post subject: Applied psychology seems to kill my game.. |
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I had this psychology course in college last year where we learned the humanistic psychotherapeutic approach; you welcome your client, ask him/her if they'd like anything, you make sure to set a calm and relaxing atmosphere and so on.
The problem arises when I use my psychology skills in the field. Normally I use them with my friends (I'm everyone's pseudo-shrink). However when I use it on girls I'm interested in, things go a bit funny. I'll explain.
Usually a girl and I will hit it off fine; I normally have no problems with openers or approaching a girl so long as I have some sort of excuse to say anything to her. Most of my interactions with girls start off rather flirty as well, so I'm not worried about getting girls to be attracted to me on first contact.
But the thing is, is that as soon as we sit down and I make sure that she feels comfortable and I start getting into her life and what-not, I feel as I end up going so very deep into her world that I get classed into the "Friends" category in the blink of an eye! Needless to say, that's to my disadvantage.
I feel that, on one hand I have this incredible skill to make people feel comfortable around me and trust me almost instantly, but on the other hand I've given up using it because I go from cute and attractive to Mr.Best-Friend.
How do I use this skill of mine to my advantage!??
To top it all off, I have no idea of how to keep a conversation going without using my psychology skillz, and often I feel that I'd rather not talk to a girl for hours on end, because I walk away feeling as if I just wasted my time.
I'm so confused man..! 
I thought getting into their heads was supposed to be a good thing! |
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Ubium
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Joined: 26 Sep 2007
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| Posted: Thu Mar 06, 2008 4:58 am Post subject: |
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| Kino and a statement of intent would dramatically help you get out of the building too much comfort. And also under no circumstance build comfort too early that would really land you in the friends zone quickly. |
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Brainz
PUA Forum Enthusiast
Joined: 03 Mar 2008
Posts: 55
Location: Canada
Reputation: 17.4
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| Posted: Thu Mar 06, 2008 5:05 am Post subject: |
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I have some trouble with being direct when it comes to my attraction towards a girl; can you give an example of a statement of intent?
When should I start to build comfort? I'm guessing that I should do this after I've created some sexual tension.
I'm always afraid that our conversation will just get too deep and the whole friendship scenario will play out again.
In any case, thanks for your help Ubium! |
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Ubium
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Joined: 26 Sep 2007
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| Posted: Thu Mar 06, 2008 5:16 am Post subject: |
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| A statement of intent is one method to transition to the next phase, and it has to be timely used, it could be like "I actually like you, I really do, your a fun/chill girl". The game isnt linear but typically you have to qualify the girl before you enter Comfort. |
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Brainz
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Joined: 03 Mar 2008
Posts: 55
Location: Canada
Reputation: 17.4
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| Posted: Thu Mar 06, 2008 5:24 am Post subject: |
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Alright awesome!
Ok, so I'm guessing that these famous "phases" that everyone on these forums is talking about are from the famed Mystery Method?
Would you happen to have a link, or book to recommend, so that I could study the phases? |
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Ka
PUA Forum Leader
Joined: 13 Oct 2007
Posts: 983
Location: philly
Reputation: 139.6
votes: 15
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| Posted: Thu Mar 06, 2008 10:31 am Post subject: |
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Brainz simply put you are not these girls psychologist...dunt treat them like a client.
I used to do exactly what you described...chicks would get down and dirty with thier life and problems, really open up. Id even have them say things to me like, "I just feel like talking to you makes my problems go away." or "I dont know why but when i talk to you about these things i feel soo much better."
Then id get LJBF'd and have to listen to thier shit 24/7.
Its ok to do what your speaking of if thats what you want, its ok to do that with someone you want to be intimate with after either establishing intent or being intimate.
If i were you id be more worried on developing normal social conversational skills and less worried about which book is gonna give you the right statements to make.
The basic idea is that you need to make sure shes attracted first, then make sure she knows your attracted...then build comfort. |
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Brainz
PUA Forum Enthusiast
Joined: 03 Mar 2008
Posts: 55
Location: Canada
Reputation: 17.4
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| Posted: Fri Mar 07, 2008 3:24 am Post subject: |
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| Goddamn I love this community! Thanks Ka; that was potentially the most helpful advice that another human being has ever given me about maintaining a conversation with a HB! |
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Leon S.K.
New to PUA Forum
Joined: 21 Jan 2008
Posts: 7
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| Posted: Sat Mar 08, 2008 9:28 am Post subject: |
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Kino escalate mate!
U can use ur skill but only if it drives u towards S1 otherwise u keep stucking on C2.
Use ur psicology while kino escalating, calibrate her answers and after she said something interesting u can say "oh nice, i really think we should know better. I like this (quality) in a girl, its so damn rare" then move away from her (now get off me)
and most important, get some rejection so u will understand that rejection does nothing to u!!!!
go go mate. |
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Brainz
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Joined: 03 Mar 2008
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Location: Canada
Reputation: 17.4
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| Posted: Sun Mar 09, 2008 6:40 pm Post subject: |
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| Good advice Leon, I'll take it! |
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