Don's absolutely right, here. AmazingArt, I like how you worded your takes on assertiveness and "Alpha-maleness," but while being strong, assertive, or however you want to word it, is simply a good part of being a man
, what Don said is truth. I encourage you to check out the third article in particular on why you should listen.
I'm not going to create a whole lecture on men's vs women's needs and why you need to listen, but I will tackle what I believe to be the crux of the misunderstanding.
AmazingArt is bringing up a very good point about how simping in a conversation and just listening to women in hopes they like you, usually plants you in a friend-zone. I agree with this. But that's because you're not actually listening. Do you care about what they're saying? Do you see them as a human being who has needs and a past, or just as a plaything?
There are plenty of guys that listen to woman's crap and they become the friend.
Right on. So then, you are listening to their crap? Why would you listen to crap? To quickly oversimplify, there are two types of women: the attention-whore hoodrats at clubs who spout nonsense, act out, create havoc, etc, and mature, adult women who are out for fun. There are very attractive girls on either side, and it's equally easy to meet either one, so don't shoot for the bottom rung! That first type of female is
going to be saying a whole lot of crap. Don't listen to that. If she's going on and on about how Marcie stole her ex back in the day and she just found out about it when at the hair salon, tell her you don't want to hear the story (unless you really are interested in her soap-opera life). I think you agree with that, and I think that that can build attraction with those types of girls, because they know they're spouting nonsense and like that you can stand up to that.. But if a mature woman is stepping to you and telling her about her hobbies and what she wanted to do with her life as a kid, either listen up so you know who you're with and she knows you don't think of her as purely a pussy, or eject, and go searching for that hoodrat.
Mature, adult human beings have mature adult conversations before doing mature adult things. That's just how it works. If you're not interested in having the conversations, no problem. Nothing wrong with that. Go get less mature women. But when you're ready to pay attention to these women, know that you'll be upgrading you game tremendously.
Woman are looking for guys who listen to themselves. This doesn't mean selfish guys. It means guys who don't compromise their boundaries (beliefs, values).
I think you nailed it here, but I'm not sure if you see what you're saying here. "Listen" in this context is not about hearing. In this context, it's about action. A king listens to all his advisers, then makes the choice he
believes is right.
Ex: A woman starts talking to you about her political views. Options:
1. If you aren't interested in politics, just tell her so, or let her know you don't feel like discussing it before you get to more of her.
2. Agree with what she says. Maybe she'll like you if she thinks you align on certain things.
3. Disagree (not argue), and have an intellectual conversation.
4. Just sit there, nod your head, shrug your shoulders, etc.
1 and 3 are both acceptable. It's 2 and 4 that will land you in the friend zone.
I guess the bottom line is that you can always be listening and be interested in the other person. If you are interested. If this person is boring you with their conversation, then why stick around? But if you're hitting it off, why wouldn't you pay attention and show the woman that you actually are hitting it off and not faking it?