I apologize in advance for this possibly being a strange post. I'm extremely tired, and I think I've been cramming too much info into my head all at once.
I've been studying NLP more in-depth recently.
Not for use on others, but for personal development.
They have these sayings, called presuppositions.
I'm going to list a few of them here, cause I think they're really helpful.
The map is not the territory.
Think of it this way; the territory is the real world, which holds everything we see and interact with; the "map" is our perception of this world. Everyone is in the same world, but we all have unique maps. It's our own personal filters that interpret everything we see. I think once we fully embody this presupposition, that's when we can begin to change. Why does a PUA act differently from a AFC? Because he interprets the same information differently than an AFC, and therefore acts accordingly.
You cannot not communicate.
First off, realize that we communicate more through body language and other factors than we do with our actual words. On top of that, realize this: choosing not to communicate is still a form of communication. Take that in mind when you enter places, and you choose not
to say hi, and not
to make eye contact with anyone. What kind of messages did you just convey without action? Negative anti-social ones.
Underlying every behavior is a positive intention.
Think of a self-destructive behavior. Such as, not approaching anyone. Why do you do this? Because it's a form of protection, against rejection. You're mind does have positive intentions, even if they're silly.
People make the best choices available to them.
People will always make what seems like the best choice at the time. Have you ever wondered why someone did something, thinking you would've made a much better decision? PUA's think this all the time, about AFC's. But to the AFC, they made the best decision they could, cause that's what their "maps" told them.
There's no such thing as failure, only feedback.
This is the most important thing to remember. Every time somebody supposedly "fails", it sends signals to your brain in attempt to change your filters. This is why you shouldn't ever give up. Think about it... if a baby gave up every time it "failed" an attempt to walk, we'd have a whole lot of people crawling on the ground. Adapt this mindset. This also ties into the mindset if what you're doing isn't working, do something else.
We have the resources in us to achieve what we want.
Ever heard the saying, "I didn't know he had it in him"? Many of us have limiting beliefs about ourselves and what we're capable of. But we have everything we need. Think about it. We've all felt a moment where we've felt confident, or smart, or higher status, etc. It's just having the ability to call upon those resources at the appropriate times.
If one person can do something, then anyone can learn to do it.
I'll zip through this. The only things that keep us from achieving the success of others is our fear and our limiting beliefs. We have to realize we're capable of far more than we limit ourselves to. And most of the time, fear is just an attempt by our minds to protect us from over-exaggerated "dangers". The other point of this presupposition is that the quickest way to learn is through modeling. You want to get good at something, find the pros and model them. For AFC's, it means start hanging out with guys you know who are good with women.
Hopefully that isn't confusing.
I'm going to bed.