7 Essential Rules Of Texting

Soma · Posted: Tue Dec 04, 2007 4:06 am Post subject: 7 Essential Rules Of Texting

I've been taking a lot from this forum, asking tons of advice and such, so I figured it was time I made a significant contribution. I have been doing a lot of texting lately, since I have gotten a few # closes, so I experimented and came up with some general rules on Text Game. Yes, I know a lot of people do not like to text, because it is impersonal and hard to make commitments, and convey sarcasm/personality, but I think that there is a lot of potential with texts. Here's what I compiled.

TEXT GAME

Text game is not wildly different from phone game and day/night game as many rules remain constant. However, there are several notable rules that are essential.

1.) Keep all of your texts short and simple, yet get across your complex idea. The main idea is quality over quantity.
- No one wants to read a long ass text, so keep it concise. Get your point across and leave it at that; do not elaborate on any unnecessary ideas. Things you would normally say in a conversation cannot be said via text, because you cannot have more than 160 characters to people with other services than you (obviously if you both have Verizon, you can talk a bit more).
-Let them interpret what you are saying. This adds an aura of ambiguity (I love alliteration Cool

) to yourself. You don't give away all of your ideas, you don't mix words (decisive) and leave somethings up to the imagination; you create mystery. You are a challenge.

2.) Do not abandon your Cocky & Funny personality for fear of not having your sarcasm come across the right way via texts. Just make sure that your sarcasm is clear and easily interpreted. The last thing you want is an angry response or worse, no response at all!
- So use C&F, but always think to yourself, "Is there any way that this could be misinterpreted?" If your answer is yes, alter it, read it out loud or add. . .

3.) Smiley Faces! Cool

- Some guys do not like to use smiley faces because it is emasculating and overly feminine. Some want to leave their sarcasm up to interpretation, and if she doesn't understand it then it's her fault. In my opinion, if she doesn't get it then you did something wrong. If you don't want to alter what you originally said, add a simple winky face Wink

at the end of your sentence so she knows you were kidding. If they still don't know you were joking, then neg the hell out of them, because they cannot take a hint. I have never had a joke taken the wrong way with the use of a well placed smiley, but I have made mistakes without them.
- Italicize, Italicize, Italicize! This is also a great way to convey sarcasm for those who refuse to use smiley faces. Just be aware that if the person you are texting doesn't have the same service as you, it won't show up on their phone.

4.) Opening/Initiating Conversations can be tricky. You want to make sure they remember you, and you want to rekindle that attraction you created that may be lost. (sounds a lot like phone game, doesn't it? Wink

)
- So, if you have created any inside jokes, have nicknames, or anything out of the ordinary, put them in the first text. This will remind her who you are, and why she liked you, thereby getting you back into comfort. One thing I do, is when I exchange #'s I put mine in her phone, and make it creative. They will usually not check what you put in front of you, so she will have a laugh later on. Also, this name will come up when you text (or call) her, which is good. I have an example of this, but first. . .
- Openers! They must grab her attention! People can easily blow off texts, more so than phone calls, and as such you need to make her want to respond. I've found that any normal opener that you would use during day/night game works fine, as long as you didn't use it on her already (this should be a no brainer). Make sure it sounds congruent to your personality and make sure you give it the proper context in the first text, or you will come off as phony (yes, girls can still tell over the damn phone whether or not you are being real or not).
- Some obvious "don'ts" of openers:
Do not just say, "Hey it's me, so & so, what's up?" You will just get the obvious, socially programmed response of "Not much, how bout you?" This is an interview question, and will bore the hell out of her, unless you really left a good impression on her.
Do not ask her how she has been or how she is feeling (unless you have created sufficient comfort and close enough to her to actually receive an honest response outside of the socially programmed "Good")
Be interesting, dammit! I cannot stress this enough (even though it is obvious). If she is bored she will ignore you, and she will not text you back.
- Here's an example of an opener I used that was well received:
Soma: Hey BFF! Me and my friend Chelsea were having a friendly debate and we need an outside opinion: who lies more, men or women?
~ This works because I called her my BFF when I met her, to false disqualify, and put my name in her phone as Super Sexy BFF. She got a kick out of it and later put her name in my phone as, Lauren=Sexy Very Happy

~
- Here is another great text opener that I take no credit for. It has been posted before but it is the shit and everyone should know it! Here is an actual response I got from using it:
Soma: Stop!
HB: Stop what?
Soma: Stop smiling and thinking about me. See, you're doing it. . right. . . now.
HB: Oh, you caught me!
~The hardest part of texting, at least in my opinion, is openers and the initiation of conversation.~

5.) Mirroring during texts??? Yes, it is possible.
- Since you cannot mirror her body language, you should (you don't have to) mirror her text style. If she uses lots of acronyms (like OMG, lol, ttyl) use them as frequently as she does. Do what she does, to an extent (use judgment here). I texted this one girl who used exclamation points after almost every sentence. Until I realized she did this out of habit, I thought she was always super excited to hear from me (that, or she was on cocaine). I ended up mirroring her, and it helped building rapport.
- You can also attempt to lead, but I haven't really gotten much results from this yet and I don't know if it works the same as when you are in person. Let me know what you think of this idea! Very Happy

- Make sure your spelling and punctuation is correct, and for god's sake, use commas to separate ideas! A stream of consciousness is the most annoying thing ever, and she should be able to understand what you are saying without thinking really hard about what you meant to say.

6.) Play hard to get - be a challenge
- Say you are going to text her back later, then don't. If she asks why you didn't text her back, tell her something came up or you were busy. Hint that you were doing something better and forgot.
- If she ignores you, do not get angry! Your best option is to ignore it. If she later apologizes for it with something like, "Sorry, I was busy eating dinner" just say something like, "Oh, I didn't notice. I was busy doing *blank*, so no harm done". You could also just ignore it and change the subject. Do not say something like, "If I didn't know any better I'd think that you were ignoring me" because you come off as needy and you give her all the power. Remember, you are living in your own reality, and she is just a guest in it. Never let this turn around. Your best course of action is to wait a day or so and then text her with a new opener and start over. If you get ignored, either something really did come up for her, or you did something wrong (most times they will let you know if something came up).
- Be persistent and giver her the benefit of the doubt.

7.) Check for IOI's
- Like in a conversation, you can check for IOI's in the same manner. The best way is to stop texting her and see if she texts you again to re-initiate. Normally people fall into the pattern of, she responds, you reply, she responds, you rely. One for one. You can break the pattern to see if she gives you two for your one. If she does, obvious IOI. If she doesn't (wait around 20 minutes) then text her back to keep it going. Never text her more than she does you- in other words, never have two for her one (of course use judgment, and there are exceptions).
- Also, texting can take place over a long period of time, so if she responds to more than one of your texts quickly in a row, consider this an IOI. Consider everything an IOI (life is just easier that way.. Very Happy

)

Let me know what you guys think of this, it is just a contemplation of rules that I wish I knew when I started texting. I figured them out over a period of two months (give or take) so if you have any additions/alterations, feel free to let me know!

Enjoy!

Trivial · Posted: Tue Dec 04, 2007 4:10 am Post subject:

great fuking post!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

artichokable · Posted: Tue Dec 04, 2007 6:01 am Post subject: sweet!

dude you are awesome, but what do you say, when it takes forever for her to text back and she leaves you super short answers?

fortunehooks · Posted: Tue Dec 04, 2007 6:15 am Post subject:

Wow, this is simply something to be had and applauded. Thank you for posting such a comprehensible overview of texting to girls. I think this should get a sticky.

The Bad Guy · Posted: Tue Dec 04, 2007 8:52 am Post subject:

Honestly, I used to be a texting guy. I used to text FAR more than I would call, but I eventually realized that I was using texting as a cruch. I really recommend getting the girl on the phone. Why?

She can take ALL the time in the world to reply to a text. She may not even respond. I suggest keeping texting to a minimum.. But I really love texting while I'm at a loud party or multi-tasking.

Soma · Posted: Tue Dec 04, 2007 1:42 pm Post subject: Re: sweet!

Enchantment · Posted: Tue Dec 04, 2007 7:41 pm Post subject:

No contribution here, just applause and thanks. I text with friends to keep plans rolling with multiple people at once, so it'll be nice to take that comfort and utilize it in my game. Thanks Soma!

Soma · Posted: Wed Dec 05, 2007 1:10 am Post subject:

Hey, if anyone knows any new openers good for texting, post them here! I will keep you guys updated on any new ones I come up with and any new ideas/concepts I come across.

niosi · Posted: Wed Dec 05, 2007 1:31 am Post subject:

wow, along with the few other people, i agree this is a awesome extremly in depth post about texting game.

i have only one question. Couldn't calling her your BFF be very easily mistaken as a LJBF from you too her, rather than a false disqualifier?

Soma · Posted: Wed Dec 05, 2007 5:44 am Post subject:

R.O · Posted: Wed Dec 05, 2007 10:58 pm Post subject:

What can I say other than, GREAT!!! I WANNA HUG YOU! This post is all I'm ever gonna need when working girls with my cellphone.
/R.O

Partyboy · Posted: Thu Dec 06, 2007 8:18 pm Post subject:

Good post - I was thinking of putting some texting rules together because I like to think that I am somewhat of an expert on getting from texting a girl to closing them (with a lot of practice):

The only things I would add are -

Keep the frame - i.e. make sure you don't slip into the friend-zone, avoid bull shit friend-chat

Make each text count - use the fact that you have time to think about your messages count, don't fluff your lines like you could face to face. Make sure she replies by asking interesting questions.

Steer conversation onto topics which you can:
A) Show DHV of yourself
B) Easily ask her out / compliment her / keep the frame

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