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Limit
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 Posted: Wed Jun 13, 2007 2:33 am Post subject: 4 Techniques to deal with rejection |
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I read some of this stuff from various sources, so I take no credit for deriving them. I just listed them hoping they would be useful.
| Quote: | 1) "She's so special... beautiful...she was the one ect"- This is something we think often after we are rejected. We often unconciously think we missed out on "the only one". We think she was so perfect, so beautiful now I missed out. This often creates depression, bad feelings, and a sense of loss.
There are many beautiful women who are excellent matches for you. Reminding yourself of this fact can help you not feel like you have "lost" as much, making you feel better.
2) Projection- One way to deal with rejection is to attempt to NOT blame/criticize yourself harshly in particular for your unsuccesful attempt.
In this technique the goal is to come up with a PLAUSIBLE reason why you failed that is related to the 1)enviorment or 2) the girl. So you may save face for example by thinking that you were unsuccesful because (e.g she could have had a bf, maybe she was in a bad mood from (work ect), she might have shynees issues, perhaps she is not comfortable in a certain place). So here the goal is to avoid self-criticism about your "inadequacies".
3) Depersonalizing - Another way to handle rejection is to think of it as a failure from your METHOD, rather than certain PERSONAL defects in your traits/characterstics such as (lack confidence, uninteresting,unattractive, ect). So if you fail you can remind yourself that it is NOT personal. This woman likely knows just about nothing about you, and has only experience with the current interaction you engaged her in. Therefore, you can think of ur failure as from some sort of shortcoming in your method rather than your "character". I personaly find this helpful especialy when my mind is trying to punish me as unworthy and guilty.
4) Numbers game- If you remind yourself that it is a "game of numbers" it might be a helpful beleif.
You can think after a rejection, "that I am one girl closer to success". Alternatively, you can reason that in reality not all attempts will be succesful for a variety of reasons, so that you will inevitably have to fail sometimes. From this you can reason that failure is an inevitable part of the game and a natural part of the process rather than something "that isn't supposed to happen" or means "ill never win". |
Alright my friends, I hope these ideas are helpful to some.
-Limit
SOURCES: How to talk to women by Ron Louis/David Copeland & I think a blog post from Mystery (but I am not totaly sure so do not hold me to it) |
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bdot
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| Posted: Thu Sep 27, 2007 9:30 pm Post subject: |
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The first tip is usually the one I go with. The last three tips never really occurred to me. Thanks for the post.  |
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Cloudsreturn
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| Posted: Tue Oct 02, 2007 7:39 pm Post subject: |
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| I always do number 3. Basically if i get shut down i just say that it's nothing personal on her part and that she's just not interested. It has nothing to do with me. |
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They Call Me Lucid
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| Posted: Tue Oct 02, 2007 8:43 pm Post subject: |
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| i always do number 1 and 3. i live in a college town so if one 20 something year old girl says "no" then there are literally 20k + more of the same thing out there waiting for me. i know that since i am no master pua many of the times rejection is a reflection of my game and thus i can improve upon it |
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Mr Fahrenheit
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| Posted: Wed Oct 03, 2007 9:48 am Post subject: |
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| I dont feel rejection, i have a lot of the conventional problems of PU occaisionally. But i never get hit ith feelings of rejection. I guess i'm just lucky. |
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Gun
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| Posted: Fri Oct 05, 2007 8:16 pm Post subject: |
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| There is no Rejection. Dont blaim the performer blaim the performance. |
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yardbird
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| Posted: Sat Oct 06, 2007 9:58 am Post subject: |
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| I kinda took this from mystery and its kinda my own. I go to one of the best party schools in the country (Tony Romo can attest). I walk around campus smiling and when a girl doesnt smile back I just say to myslef "Wow she must have horrible self esteem." It sounds corny but it works. |
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gigi
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| Posted: Tue Oct 09, 2007 5:16 pm Post subject: |
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the best way to deal with rejection is to LEARN TO ACCEPT NO FOR AN ANSWER.
from experience, if you start inventing philosophy around rejection you'll circle around it for years, come up with different shit to tell yourself all the time, since none of it is really true and you can't cheat yourself for long.
fact is you wanted this girl (at least for her looks) and she said no. the only interpretation possible for that is:
there's nothing for me here, i'm moving on.
if you adopt this attitude 90% of your approach anxiety will vaporize. since you can take no for an answer, there's nothing to be afraid of.
instead of wasting so much energy on being afraid of the approach and later on trying to cheat yourself out of the fact that you were rejected, embrace the fact that she told you no, think what you could have done better for next time, and move on.
i have a friend who's an approach machine, it's not unusual for him to approach 50 girls a day (usually does street pickups), he gets a lot of numbers and screws it all up later on but that's not the point, the point is, obviously he gets rejected a million times in the process. he has one idiom he lives by:
love to hear no, and love to hear yes even more.
good stuff!
gigi @ puaratings |
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shorteez
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| Posted: Wed Oct 10, 2007 6:49 am Post subject: |
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Don't worry about rejection. It never is a personal thing, most girls don't have the guts to hurt your feelings.
It's more like shield they have, if you approach them wrong or when they're not feeling comfortable, they WILL try to loose you. And the best way they think to do it, is to say or act like they're are not into you. And the way they do it, that's what makes feel like rejection.
Just keep your mind in the right place. Try to understand why they wanted to loose you. Make it an learning experience. Then move on to the next girl/set.
Accept these situations and the fear of rejection will be gone. |
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