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PostPosted: Wed Feb 10, 2010 4:34 pm 
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Thanks for your insight shaplin
Quote:
1. Get yourself a pad and paper.
2. Put a spoon on the table.
3. Look at the spoon.
4. Write.


If any of you want to try this and discuss it here, let me now . . . I think it could be a lot of fun.
I gave this a go and i'll summerise my ramblings.

-Basic talk of spoon shape and material
-Mentioned wooden spoon, a happy face on failure
-Why a wooden spoon instead of an arse kicking? You failed.
-Society teaches people to accept failure instead of fighting to be the best
-Spoons have interesting majestic properties
-Stare at the bowl of the spoon and it appears to get darker and change size, strange optical illusion
-Shape is very smooth.
-Used to eat food such as soup and cereal, unaggressive food
-Can't use it for steak, you need knifes or forks. These are miniture weapons.
-Spoons are not weapons they are peacefull tools.
-Maybe why they are mystical.


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PostPosted: Thu Feb 11, 2010 12:28 am 
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Quote:
-Basic talk of spoon shape and material
-Mentioned wooden spoon, a happy face on failure
-Why a wooden spoon instead of an arse kicking? You failed.
-Society teaches people to accept failure instead of fighting to be the best
-Spoons have interesting majestic properties
-Stare at the bowl of the spoon and it appears to get darker and change size, strange optical illusion
-Shape is very smooth.
-Used to eat food such as soup and cereal, unaggressive food
-Can't use it for steak, you need knifes or forks. These are miniture weapons.
-Spoons are not weapons they are peacefull tools.
-Maybe why they are mystical.
^This is a nice flow isn't it? You begin with the spoon . . . and wander off a bit. . . but you come back to the spoon. Great insight.

Aspiring pua's often fall into the "YOU ARE THE PRIZE" trap and feel that they need to talk or write endlessly about themselves when in fact a thoughtful reflection of a plain SPOON can be wonderfully inspiring. The spoon is in front of you here and now and this is the topic. The spoon is the prize. R X, you definitely have a talent for this.

The common misunderstanding with "putting a girl on the pedestal" is that guys never put the girl on the pedestal on the first place. To stand there and shower her with generic compliments is NOT a way to put a girl on the pedestal but instead a way to show her that she's just like anybody else. These guys go from girl to girl, never truly looking at a particular girl, never thinking about that particular girl, and never understanding her individual qualities. Then they learn through some generic PU workbook that they ought to be the prize, switch it up and shower themselves with generic compliments, making themselves look like jack asses.

Like the way R X just demonstrated above with his lucid exploration of a spoon, truly focusing on the girl and offering her honest, thoughtful reflections is in my opinion one of the most powerful attraction triggers. Through this, you've already become her thoughtful boyfriend. Through this, you've demonstrated that you're aware of her individuality and her life. Add a sprinkle of sexuality to the mix and it's a home run EVERY TIME.

If we can be this focused and imaginative for a simple utensil, think about all that we can learn through a conversation with a with a living, breathing, dynamic human being standing in front of you.


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PostPosted: Thu Feb 11, 2010 4:08 am 
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i don't know how, but when i started i ended up with like a 3 page short story... Is the point to write ANYTHING that comes to mind, or just anything that comes to mind that can be transitioned too?
That's great! Basically, the more you can write the better. Write until you're done writing. How will you know when you're done? Trust me, you'll know. When you stop writing, when you are waiting and forcing yourself to think of something to write (in a conversation, waiting for something to say, to force the analogy) then stop, that topic is done, don't push it beyond it's natural limits, because then it becomes unnatural, and unnatural is uncomfortable.

These same basic principles apply to - you guessed it - conversations. When you're talking to someone, guy or girl, you can't push yourself to say something when you actually have nothing to say. But that being said, there is a fine line between 'not having something so say' and convincing yourself you have nothing to say. Trust me, you almost always (97% of the time) have something to say. Don't censor yourself too much.

To get back to your question, the point is to write whatever comes to your mind, anything at all. Another exercise that might help your mind flow more freely is to use this 'free-fall writing' (also called lightning writing) method I showed you and use it to write a 'dreamscape'. Basically, just write a dream - it could be one that you had, or create a character and write his or her dream, basically just make up a dream and start writing. This takes out any realistic limits and just gets your brain and mind flowing, and will allow you to work on your artistic spontaneity, which leads to a much quicker mind overall (which helps you with more than just conversations).

_________________
-Sharplin
My journal:
sharplins-journal-vt84603.html?highlight=


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PostPosted: Thu Feb 11, 2010 4:12 am 
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Quote:
Quote:
-Basic talk of spoon shape and material
-Mentioned wooden spoon, a happy face on failure
-Why a wooden spoon instead of an arse kicking? You failed.
-Society teaches people to accept failure instead of fighting to be the best
-Spoons have interesting majestic properties
-Stare at the bowl of the spoon and it appears to get darker and change size, strange optical illusion
-Shape is very smooth.
-Used to eat food such as soup and cereal, unaggressive food
-Can't use it for steak, you need knifes or forks. These are miniture weapons.
-Spoons are not weapons they are peacefull tools.
-Maybe why they are mystical.
^This is a nice flow isn't it? You begin with the spoon . . . and wander off a bit. . . but you come back to the spoon. Great insight.

Aspiring pua's often fall into the "YOU ARE THE PRIZE" trap and feel that they need to talk or write endlessly about themselves when in fact a thoughtful reflection of a plain SPOON can be wonderfully inspiring. The spoon is in front of you here and now and this is the topic. The spoon is the prize. R X, you definitely have a talent for this.

The common misunderstanding with "putting a girl on the pedestal" is that guys never put the girl on the pedestal on the first place. To stand there and shower her with generic compliments is NOT a way to put a girl on the pedestal but instead a way to show her that she's just like anybody else. These guys go from girl to girl, never truly looking at a particular girl, never thinking about that particular girl, and never understanding her individual qualities. Then they learn through some generic PU workbook that they ought to be the prize, switch it up and shower themselves with generic compliments, making themselves look like jack asses.

Like the way R X just demonstrated above with his lucid exploration of a spoon, truly focusing on the girl and offering her honest, thoughtful reflections is in my opinion one of the most powerful attraction triggers. Through this, you've already become her thoughtful boyfriend. Through this, you've demonstrated that you're aware of her individuality and her life. Add a sprinkle of sexuality to the mix and it's a home run EVERY TIME.

If we can be this focused and imaginative for a simple utensil, think about all that we can learn through a conversation with a with a living, breathing, dynamic human being standing in front of you.
Kasabi, I like the way you think.

Great point, if you're experiencing writer's block, remember that fiction has absolutely no limits. Write about anything at all - like Kasabi said, look at a spoon and just write what comes to your mind. Look at the wall, write a story about the wall (if it's about such an inanimate object, it would probably be a metaphorical story).

Anyway, for the sake of not drifting off topic, lets get back to pick up. When you're in a conversation, you don't have time to think about what to say next. This is the main problem! If you have ever played sports, you would understand this better than anyone. When you're in a game, you don't have time to think about exactly what to do, it is just much too fast paced. You don't have time to look around the field and examine your surroundings consciously, this is all done subconsciously and in a split second. You don't have time to tell yourself how to kick a ball, or throw a pass, or shoot a three pointer. You just get in there and do it, no hesitation, no conscious preliminary thought process, it just happens. It has flow. It is natural. And this is how your conversation should be.

_________________
-Sharplin
My journal:
sharplins-journal-vt84603.html?highlight=


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PostPosted: Thu Feb 11, 2010 2:37 pm 
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You just get in there and do it, no hesitation, no conscious preliminary thought process, it just happens. It has flow. It is natural. And this is how your conversation should be.
It's important to note that one can "get in there and just do it" BECAUSE they have the ability to do this. And how do we gain that ability? PRACTICE.

The comedian that knocks off an ad-libbed joke after joke after joke is flowing with it because he's practiced, practiced, and practiced. The boxer that fights in the "zone" is doing it because he's practiced, practiced, and practiced. Your initial post was a recommendation for a method of practice that gives us the ability to "just get in there and do it".

Two posters actually moved forward to practice while most spewed off a few PU cliche comments. (Which is EXACTLY what the free-thought/free writing lessons can teach us to AVOID) In boxing terms, this is the guy that jumps in the ring after a month of sitting on the couch THINKING that he can just do it. He gets his teeth knocked out.


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PostPosted: Wed Feb 17, 2010 3:30 am 
Exactly!


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 Post subject: free association...
PostPosted: Mon Mar 01, 2010 9:26 am 
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I hope free association helps me with this. fascinating, i've never heard of intrinsic and extrinsic thought. i'm definitely guilty of intrinsic thought, all the time.

i rambled on, without giving the story any specific dimensions, and came up with a bunch of random crap. i decided to stop because i have homework to do. anyways...

"The gas station was dirty, but he pulled in anyway... As he pulled in, he noticed to his dismay that every gas pump already had a car at it. There were cars in line for them as well. He got in behind them, waiting. He checked his cell phone, impatient and wanting to know how long this would take, as he had a date later this evening and wanted to make sure everything was in order for it. He had met the girl in a supermarket, and got her number, a few days ago. Now he was going to take her out to dinner at the new restaurant that was opening up in town, one which he had never been to. He couldn’t wait...
A spot opened up, but a car swung in from the other side and nabbed it. He slammed on the horn, pissed off. He grabbed a golf club from the back seat and advanced on the driver who had dared to steal his gas pump! The man at the pump panicked, jumped in the car, and gunned it. The gas pump hose ripped off, sending a diamond mist of gasoline spraying through the air. The car collided with the guy’s car, smashing the front end and shattering the windshield. The man, pissed before, was now completely livid. He charged the other guy’s car, smashing the club into the windshield. He advanced again, but before he really got the chance, the man backed up, back through the fountain of gasoline, out the other side, swung around, and drove away. He clipped another car on his way out, sending sparks out. One caught the gas fumes, and the gas station went up in flames. The man dove into his totaled car, trying to start it. In front of him loomed a firestorm, and it was growing. He got out and ran, and a fireball landed on his car, catching it ablaze....
Two hours later, the man was sitting in the back of a cop car with the firefighters busy cleaning the place up and documenting stuff. He moaned and lay across the hard plastic seat. How had he gotten himself into this mess? It looked like he wouldn’t be making his date, and was praying he had remembered to make his insurance payment. As he thought of it, he pulled out his phone and called his insurance company.
“Hello, I’ve been involved in an incident concerning my car.”
“Okay sir, no problem. We cover everything except asteroids, lightning strikes, gas station explosions, and tsunamis.”
“Um, gas station explosions?”
“Yes, we added that into our terms of service last night for no apparent reason. Is that a problem?”
“My car just burned up in a gas station explosion. Though now that I think about it, it burned more than it exploded, and the car was totaled before the fire.”
“Sir, it doesn’t matter. In this economy, we’ll look for any excuse not to cover you. If it was involved in any way in a gas station explosion, it cannot be covered.”
The man let out a string of curses. The cops opened the door. “Okay, we’re releasing you, but you will have to appear in court next Tuesday.”
The man got out of his car. He phoned a friend, and climbed in.
“Dude, what happened?” his friend asked. His girlfriend cringed as she looked at the burned-out remains of the gas station. The charred wreckage of his car sat mournfully beside the smoking ruins.
“Just take me home.”
As the car was rounding the corner, the man looked back. An asteroid fell from the sky, striking his car and blasting it into a crater on the ground. He let out another curse, and decided he needed to go home and take a nap."

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>>> ascend to the next level

~Luminova~


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 Post subject: Re: free association...
PostPosted: Tue Mar 02, 2010 3:01 am 
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I hope free association helps me with this. fascinating, i've never heard of intrinsic and extrinsic thought. i'm definitely guilty of intrinsic thought, all the time.

i rambled on, without giving the story any specific dimensions, and came up with a bunch of random crap. i decided to stop because i have homework to do. anyways...

"The gas station was dirty, but he pulled in anyway... As he pulled in, he noticed to his dismay that every gas pump already had a car at it. There were cars in line for them as well. He got in behind them, waiting. He checked his cell phone, impatient and wanting to know how long this would take, as he had a date later this evening and wanted to make sure everything was in order for it. He had met the girl in a supermarket, and got her number, a few days ago. Now he was going to take her out to dinner at the new restaurant that was opening up in town, one which he had never been to. He couldn’t wait...
A spot opened up, but a car swung in from the other side and nabbed it. He slammed on the horn, pissed off. He grabbed a golf club from the back seat and advanced on the driver who had dared to steal his gas pump! The man at the pump panicked, jumped in the car, and gunned it. The gas pump hose ripped off, sending a diamond mist of gasoline spraying through the air. The car collided with the guy’s car, smashing the front end and shattering the windshield. The man, pissed before, was now completely livid. He charged the other guy’s car, smashing the club into the windshield. He advanced again, but before he really got the chance, the man backed up, back through the fountain of gasoline, out the other side, swung around, and drove away. He clipped another car on his way out, sending sparks out. One caught the gas fumes, and the gas station went up in flames. The man dove into his totaled car, trying to start it. In front of him loomed a firestorm, and it was growing. He got out and ran, and a fireball landed on his car, catching it ablaze....
Two hours later, the man was sitting in the back of a cop car with the firefighters busy cleaning the place up and documenting stuff. He moaned and lay across the hard plastic seat. How had he gotten himself into this mess? It looked like he wouldn’t be making his date, and was praying he had remembered to make his insurance payment. As he thought of it, he pulled out his phone and called his insurance company.
“Hello, I’ve been involved in an incident concerning my car.”
“Okay sir, no problem. We cover everything except asteroids, lightning strikes, gas station explosions, and tsunamis.”
“Um, gas station explosions?”
“Yes, we added that into our terms of service last night for no apparent reason. Is that a problem?”
“My car just burned up in a gas station explosion. Though now that I think about it, it burned more than it exploded, and the car was totaled before the fire.”
“Sir, it doesn’t matter. In this economy, we’ll look for any excuse not to cover you. If it was involved in any way in a gas station explosion, it cannot be covered.”
The man let out a string of curses. The cops opened the door. “Okay, we’re releasing you, but you will have to appear in court next Tuesday.”
The man got out of his car. He phoned a friend, and climbed in.
“Dude, what happened?” his friend asked. His girlfriend cringed as she looked at the burned-out remains of the gas station. The charred wreckage of his car sat mournfully beside the smoking ruins.
“Just take me home.”
As the car was rounding the corner, the man looked back. An asteroid fell from the sky, striking his car and blasting it into a crater on the ground. He let out another curse, and decided he needed to go home and take a nap."
Hahaha good story here luminova, I like it, and I really like to see that you took the time to do this exercise. This is exactly what you should do. Sit down with a prompt, or something on your mind, anything at all, and WRITE. NOT intrinsically, (or another term is introverted, which means the same thing) but write EXTRINSICALLY / EXTROVERTED. Don't censor yourself in your writing, just write, let the words come out. This helps a lot with your conversations.

_________________
-Sharplin
My journal:
sharplins-journal-vt84603.html?highlight=


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PostPosted: Tue Mar 02, 2010 10:14 pm 
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Being in the present moment is the hugest shortcut to learning how to vibe well and have great conversation. No reason to make it all complicated. Everything stems out from this fun positive state

Hob... Posting from uni


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PostPosted: Tue Mar 09, 2010 8:18 am 
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Joined: Sun May 18, 2008 8:18 am
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Location: OC, California
Quote:
Being a good conversationalist is a skill that will get you far in the world of pickup, and in any social environment whatsoever, yet conversations are the one thing that most people have trouble with. I know that carrying on a good conversation is sometimes a huge challenge to me, and I know of many people that share the same troubles. Let's first break down why we are good at conversations.

There may be several reasons for this on the surface, but they all come down to one thing: intrinsic thinking. Basically, intrinsic thinking is seeing yourself from third person in terms of your thought. In other words, if you are thinking intrinsically, you are perceiving how people perceive you, what you are saying, and what to say next. Intrinsic thought tends to slow you down in conversations, and your flow of thought will be choppy and deliberate. You might find yourself saying "Yeah" a lot, or simple monosyllabic responses to most things the girl says, saying something stupid because you thought so much about it, or not saying anything at all. All of this is simply over thinking your game and your conversation.

The opposite of intrinsic thought is extrinsic thought, and this is what you want to be aiming for. Extrinsic thought requires you to focus not on yourself, or intrinsically, but from yourself outward, or extrinsically; so you want to focus on what the other person is saying, and not be focusing on what you are saying or what to say next. You've probably noticed this yourself - on those days that your game just 'clicks' and you seem to be a natural, you may have noticed that you are not inside your own head, and all you are focusing on is the other person. The words come naturally, and the conversation carries a natural flow and rhythm to it.

How do you become an extrinsic thinker? This is easier said than done, because generally if you consciously tell yourself "Today I am going to think extrinsically and have good conversation", you tend to psyche yourself out, because you are consciously monitoring yourself and what you say to see if you are being more extrinsic, thus becoming more intrinsic in the process. This is more counter-productive than helpful.

So if you can't directly become more extrinsic thinking, you need to work on some superficial things that will lead to a deeper core change that encourages you to become more extrinsic thinking. Here are some exercises that will help you become a better conversationalist, and will help to eliminate the 'what to do next' complex:

1. Free-fall writing.


In my Writer's Craft class today, my teacher told us to take out a piece of paper and a pen. He wrote a sentence on the board, and told us the exercise was called "free-fall writing". What we were to do was to read the sentence he wrote on the board (an open-ended opening line that would start a story) and to start writing. You cannot stop writing for a certain amount of time, say 20 minutes, kind of like how a skydiver falls for a certain amount of time before pulling his parachute. The idea is to get whatever is on your mind down on paper with minimal censoring, overcoming the very common 'writer's block' that many writer's experience. Besides overcoming writer's block, though, this exercise will help you overcome your 'conversation' block. Here I will provide you with a few examples of opening lines to begin writing from:

"The gas station was dirty, but he pulled in anyway..." (This is the one we had in class today)

"He picked up the letter and opened it, afraid of what he would see..."

"She was always jealous of her sister..."

"I'm sorry, what is your name again?" (these can open dialogue as well)

"He polished off his car and got in, turning the ignition..."

"When he saw the girl, he froze up, became still, approach anxiety overcame him..."


Feel free to create your own, and write them as a response to this post and post them for others to see. This really frees your mind from itself and gets you thinking naturally and with a flow to it, which helps with conversations.

A next step for this exercise would be to speak the story. Basically, instead of writing, just start talking with the line, and continue it until you've run it dry. This will exercise your ability to take a topic or sentence that someone else speaks to you, and to elaborate and expand on it.

2. Free Association

This is a similar game that requires no writing, but a partner or other person to practice with. You could try it alone, but it really works a lot better with one or more other people to play it with.

One person starts by saying a word - any word at all, let's say "red" - then the next person responds by saying whatever word they think of when they hear "red" (it does not have to be related at all, there are no rules) - for the sake of this example, we'll take "blood". From there, the next person says what they immediately think of when they think of "blood", say "gun". Etcetera.

The idea of this game is to work on your improvisation and quick thinking. The game is supposed to be fast paced. As you practice this, you will begin to release your censoring of your thoughts and just learn to speak off of a simple initiator or trigger. So if someone says something to you, you respond without too much thinking, and your ability to carry on a conversation is drastically improved.
Dude why the hell did you write all that? All you have to do to become a better conservationist is to chit chat with random people. If you ever look at the conversations you have with people most of the conversation is made up of chit chat and nothing else. And chit chat a lot of times leads to a real conversation.


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PostPosted: Tue Mar 09, 2010 11:31 pm 
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Thanks to the chit chat philosophy, we receive regular updates for amateur weather reports, traffic reports, TV show reviews, and pop politics. . . this probably covers a majority of all the conversations in the World.

And in the case of the wanna-be pua, not-so random questions about who cheats more, whether he looks like a drug dealer or not, and some imagery exercises involving cubes. Hmmm. . . comforting and entertaining.

Although . . . a conversation with a brick wall could be just as entertaining.


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PostPosted: Wed Mar 10, 2010 3:12 am 
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Quote:
Quote:
Being a good conversationalist is a skill that will get you far in the world of pickup, and in any social environment whatsoever, yet conversations are the one thing that most people have trouble with. I know that carrying on a good conversation is sometimes a huge challenge to me, and I know of many people that share the same troubles. Let's first break down why we are good at conversations.

There may be several reasons for this on the surface, but they all come down to one thing: intrinsic thinking. Basically, intrinsic thinking is seeing yourself from third person in terms of your thought. In other words, if you are thinking intrinsically, you are perceiving how people perceive you, what you are saying, and what to say next. Intrinsic thought tends to slow you down in conversations, and your flow of thought will be choppy and deliberate. You might find yourself saying "Yeah" a lot, or simple monosyllabic responses to most things the girl says, saying something stupid because you thought so much about it, or not saying anything at all. All of this is simply over thinking your game and your conversation.

The opposite of intrinsic thought is extrinsic thought, and this is what you want to be aiming for. Extrinsic thought requires you to focus not on yourself, or intrinsically, but from yourself outward, or extrinsically; so you want to focus on what the other person is saying, and not be focusing on what you are saying or what to say next. You've probably noticed this yourself - on those days that your game just 'clicks' and you seem to be a natural, you may have noticed that you are not inside your own head, and all you are focusing on is the other person. The words come naturally, and the conversation carries a natural flow and rhythm to it.

How do you become an extrinsic thinker? This is easier said than done, because generally if you consciously tell yourself "Today I am going to think extrinsically and have good conversation", you tend to psyche yourself out, because you are consciously monitoring yourself and what you say to see if you are being more extrinsic, thus becoming more intrinsic in the process. This is more counter-productive than helpful.

So if you can't directly become more extrinsic thinking, you need to work on some superficial things that will lead to a deeper core change that encourages you to become more extrinsic thinking. Here are some exercises that will help you become a better conversationalist, and will help to eliminate the 'what to do next' complex:

1. Free-fall writing.


In my Writer's Craft class today, my teacher told us to take out a piece of paper and a pen. He wrote a sentence on the board, and told us the exercise was called "free-fall writing". What we were to do was to read the sentence he wrote on the board (an open-ended opening line that would start a story) and to start writing. You cannot stop writing for a certain amount of time, say 20 minutes, kind of like how a skydiver falls for a certain amount of time before pulling his parachute. The idea is to get whatever is on your mind down on paper with minimal censoring, overcoming the very common 'writer's block' that many writer's experience. Besides overcoming writer's block, though, this exercise will help you overcome your 'conversation' block. Here I will provide you with a few examples of opening lines to begin writing from:

"The gas station was dirty, but he pulled in anyway..." (This is the one we had in class today)

"He picked up the letter and opened it, afraid of what he would see..."

"She was always jealous of her sister..."

"I'm sorry, what is your name again?" (these can open dialogue as well)

"He polished off his car and got in, turning the ignition..."

"When he saw the girl, he froze up, became still, approach anxiety overcame him..."


Feel free to create your own, and write them as a response to this post and post them for others to see. This really frees your mind from itself and gets you thinking naturally and with a flow to it, which helps with conversations.

A next step for this exercise would be to speak the story. Basically, instead of writing, just start talking with the line, and continue it until you've run it dry. This will exercise your ability to take a topic or sentence that someone else speaks to you, and to elaborate and expand on it.

2. Free Association

This is a similar game that requires no writing, but a partner or other person to practice with. You could try it alone, but it really works a lot better with one or more other people to play it with.

One person starts by saying a word - any word at all, let's say "red" - then the next person responds by saying whatever word they think of when they hear "red" (it does not have to be related at all, there are no rules) - for the sake of this example, we'll take "blood". From there, the next person says what they immediately think of when they think of "blood", say "gun". Etcetera.

The idea of this game is to work on your improvisation and quick thinking. The game is supposed to be fast paced. As you practice this, you will begin to release your censoring of your thoughts and just learn to speak off of a simple initiator or trigger. So if someone says something to you, you respond without too much thinking, and your ability to carry on a conversation is drastically improved.
Dude why the hell did you write all that? All you have to do to become a better conservationist is to chit chat with random people. If you ever look at the conversations you have with people most of the conversation is made up of chit chat and nothing else. And chit chat a lot of times leads to a real conversation.
I see where your coming from here, and quite honestly I think you're right, in theory.

The reason I wrote all this is because being a better conversationalist is not nearly as simple as you just put it: it's all about chit-chat (which, in theory, is right). Sure, you need to be able to chit-chat, and have small talk, and carry on a conversation whichever way it may go and just let it flow, but it doesn't come to people just like that.

If someone is a bad conversationalist and you tell them "It's all about chit-chat! Just go chat with people!" it won't fix their problem. I am trying to offer an unconventional solution that uses a different approach and might help them in a different way.

Not trying to antagonize what you said, though, because what you said is dead on. You need to practice chatting with people. Sitting in your room writing exercises on a sheet of paper alone is not going to get you any better at conversations, just writing. You need to apply what you practice. Practice these exercises, then go into the field and chat with strangers.

_________________
-Sharplin
My journal:
sharplins-journal-vt84603.html?highlight=


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PostPosted: Wed Mar 10, 2010 3:18 am 
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Joined: Sat Sep 26, 2009 4:32 am
Posts: 409
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Quote:
Being in the present moment is the hugest shortcut to learning how to vibe well and have great conversation. No reason to make it all complicated. Everything stems out from this fun positive state

Hob... Posting from uni
I may have unintentionally overcomplicated the issue with the first post of exercises for becoming a better conversationalist.

When it comes down to it, like you said, it's all about being in the present moment. Be extroverted. Focus on what is being said to you, not what you are going to say back.

If there is one thing anyone should take away from this post, or any lesson on conversation or social skills, it is this:

BE PRESENT.

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PostPosted: Thu Mar 11, 2010 5:28 pm 
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yes, though when it doesn't come naturally, it seriously helps to have exercises and a full breakdown of what makes it work. it's awfully hard to just "have a conversation" if that's the problem you're having in the first place.

i don't know, maybe it's just me, but i tend to have bad results fixing a problem by doing the thing that is giving me the problem. :? it takes an enormous amount of trial and error to find solutions, and quite possibly could find pseudo-solutions that don't really help and just lead one further away from a workable solution.
repeating the problem over and over again doesn't solve it, if it did, i wouldn't be here. :shock:

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PostPosted: Sun Mar 14, 2010 9:48 pm 
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Great post!

I had to force myslef to stop after a long ass story which covered a variety of topics and it all started with "he turned on the ignition"

It is simply amazing how you just freeflow when you are not overthinking or even thinking at all.

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