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| Should I kick his ass? |
| Yes |
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| No |
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[ 32 ] |
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| Total Votes : 42 |
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Jav
Dedicated Member
Joined: 28 Dec 2008
Posts: 649
Location: The wonderous land of tulips and weed
Reputation: 87.9  
votes: 8
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 Posted: Tue Nov 03, 2009 2:36 pm Post subject: |
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| Go watch batman and figure out why you shouldn't kick his ass (the batman before batman dark knight) |
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Brah
Member of PUA Forum
Joined: 05 Oct 2009
Posts: 133
Reputation: 20.5
votes: 2
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| Posted: Tue Nov 03, 2009 4:17 pm Post subject: |
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| Jaybot wrote: | | focus more on where you went wrong than her would be my advice. People in happy relationships don't cheat |
you are just so fucking wrong. Some people are just disloyal assholes and will cheat to get something "new" after several years with the same person. marriages and long-term relationships that span many, many years take maturity, self-control, and even a little bit of sacrifice to make work. Some people just don't have that in them - they are too selfish or don't have enough self-control to stick to 1 person their whole lives even though they've made the commitment to do so.
His wife may be one of those people. Don't blame him and act like just because someone is a cheater, that their significant other is to blame. Have you ever been in a relationship that has lasted 5+ years? |
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DonPua
Member of PUA Forum
Joined: 05 Feb 2009
Posts: 170
Reputation: 18.1
votes: 2
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| Posted: Wed Nov 04, 2009 1:11 am Post subject: Re: Wife had an affair, should I kick the guy’s ass? |
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| new guy4554 wrote: | | My wife of 4 years recently told me she’s been having an affair for several months with a male friend of hers. In fact, she just left me for him. I’ve met him a few times before, guy she used to work with. I’m furious at both of them and really want to kick his ass. We don’t have any kids but I have a great career and my freedom to lose if I get arrested. I think it’s worth the risk anyway; this d-bag ruined my marriage. I don’t know if I’ll be able to respect myself if I don’t kick his ass. He not only hurt me but all of my family and friends and all of her family and friends that we built great relationships with over the years. Do you think I should do it? Also, despite her horrible actions I want her back. Would kicking his ass in anyway help or hurt my chances of getting her back? |
I don't understand why you want her back ? She was cheating on you so she is a bad person. Maybe you have feelings for her but at least your logical brain must understand that she isn't worthy to be with you. Now, you are free, so go out and seduce a young and good looking girl. You will get over your wife and if she sees you with a hot young girl, she will probably get jealous and be sorry to have dumped you. |
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Double J
Member of PUA Forum
Joined: 10 Sep 2008
Posts: 126
Reputation: 38.6
votes: 1
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| Posted: Wed Nov 04, 2009 3:32 am Post subject: |
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I'm very sorry to hear about your situation.
I can only guess at the rage and pain your are feeling, however from an objective point of view, i would suggest that hitting the D-bag will only make your situation worse, it will not gain you anything, and has the potential to permanently damage your life.
From a psychological perspective, you think right now that assaulting the guy will relieve your rage, but it will only be displaced into your wife once you feel you have delt judgment to the guy. The only thing that will help, is time, good friends, and the knowledge that as bad as it is now, it will get better. |
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puppet
New to PUA Forum
Joined: 29 Oct 2009
Posts: 17
Reputation: 2.2
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| Posted: Wed Nov 04, 2009 3:40 am Post subject: |
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| You should probably look at what you did wrong. Yes. I know it is tough to critisize yourself, especially after being disrespected like that. But really, be hard on yourself and try to improve, but NOT to get her back as your wife, but to go get 10239210 more women who are 123890 times hotter and better than her. Once she sees what she's missed out on, she'll be crying outside your door. Then you can have your revenge by slamming the door on her ass |
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nomadicpua
PUA Forum Enthusiast
Joined: 22 Oct 2009
Posts: 43
Reputation: 5.6
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| Posted: Wed Nov 04, 2009 3:52 am Post subject: |
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Fighting isn't going to solve anything. It definitely won't get her back, she'll just think your crazy.
Other downfalls are that you could end up in prison, the hospital, or dead.
Sorry to hear about the situation bro. Sucks. |
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afcKazoo
New to PUA Forum
Joined: 07 Oct 2009
Posts: 20
Reputation: 3.6
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| Posted: Wed Nov 04, 2009 4:58 am Post subject: |
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I know how you feel bro. My last relationship went to shit, but mine was just 2years. But in all honesty you found out about the Pick up community so do some reading, learn the methods and fuck some chicks. In a matter of time she will be a distant memory.
And just remember Just Stay Chill. |
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new guy4554
New to PUA Forum
Joined: 02 Nov 2009
Posts: 4
Reputation: 1.5
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| Posted: Thu Nov 19, 2009 10:50 pm Post subject: |
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| lucky1990 wrote: | kidding...you'd definitely regret fighting him because he might end up kicking your ass and then who likes like the asshole?
Regards
Lucky |
ZERO PERCENT CHANCE OF THIS HAPPENING |
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new guy4554
New to PUA Forum
Joined: 02 Nov 2009
Posts: 4
Reputation: 1.5
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| Posted: Thu Nov 19, 2009 10:54 pm Post subject: |
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| B-J wrote: | dude that woman doesn't even deserve your sympathy but i know how you feel since i have been in love and hurt before .
my best advice to you is to get away from her as much as you cant rebuild yourself go out meet new people and just learn from what happen in this life a man have to have a clear idea of what king of value you want from yours friend and relationships.
and don't fight that man since he saw and opportunity with a beautiful woman and took it. she is the one that de-respected your relationship.
peace man and don't ever fight a guy for a girl that has de-respected you. |
Sometimes, we need to walk away from opportunities no matter how tempting they are, because it's the right thing to do. I don't care if the hottest girl you’ve ever seen propositions you with no strings attached sex. If you know that she is MARRIED, tell her to come see you AFTER she has gotten a divorce. You getting involved will only make the current problems in the marriage worse, and make it much harder for the married couple to work out their problems. Yes, my wife disrespected our relationship but don't make excuses for him. They were both wrong in their actions. |
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new guy4554
New to PUA Forum
Joined: 02 Nov 2009
Posts: 4
Reputation: 1.5
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| Posted: Thu Nov 19, 2009 10:55 pm Post subject: |
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A few things:
A lot of you are assuming that I want to get revenge on her as well. I do not. I realized that it takes two to tango and I am very upset with her. However, I had a wonderful relationship with her for almost a decade and she was very faithful to me during this time (before the affair). I will always love her regardless of what she has done. He, on the other hand, I barely know and could care less about.
I didn't cheat on her but I wasn’t a perfect husband either and I am trying to focus on self-improvement.
Seems like most of you think kicking his ass would be an AFC move, but what would the Alpha cavemen do a million years ago if some other caveman had sex with his woman? The Alpha cavemen would kill him.
I don't understand why people say “once a cheater, always a cheater” and act like a cheater should never be forgiven under any circumstances. Unless you are Jesus Christ or the Virgin Mary, you are capable of cheating and WILL cheat if put in a situation that is tempting enough to you. I have never cheated on my wife or any girlfriend for that matter, but I am not so arrogant that I think I'm incapable of it. |
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mjorkk
New to PUA Forum
Joined: 19 Nov 2009
Posts: 4
Reputation: 0.5
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| Posted: Thu Nov 19, 2009 11:28 pm Post subject: |
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| new guy4554 wrote: | A few things:
Seems like most of you think kicking his ass would be an AFC move, but what would the Alpha cavemen do a million years ago if some other caveman had sex with his woman? The Alpha cavemen would kill him.
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You are correct; from a purely biological standpoint, it would be the most natural thing to kill him, the problem is the legality of the issue. If you view the situation from an ends oriented paradigm, you gain nothing, and potentially lose allot.
| new guy4554 wrote: | A few things:
A lot of you are assuming that I want to get revenge on her as well. I do not. I realized that it takes two to tango and I am very upset with her. However, I had a wonderful relationship with her for almost a decade and she was very faithful to me during this time (before the affair). I will always love her regardless of what she has done. He, on the other hand, I barely know and could care less about.
...
I don't understand why people say “once a cheater, always a cheater” and act like a cheater should never be forgiven under any circumstances. Unless you are Jesus Christ or the Virgin Mary, you are capable of cheating and WILL cheat if put in a situation that is tempting enough to you. I have never cheated on my wife or any girlfriend for that matter, but I am not so arrogant that I think I'm incapable of it. |
A vast majority of the philosophy behind the topic of this forum stems from a status oriented paradigm. From a purely status oriented paradigm, staying with someone after they have cheated is the ultimate in relinquishing status. If you really do love her, you certainly could stay with her, but from a status perspective, you will never again have any power or respect within that relationship ever again, effectively becoming her slave. If you could actually be happy as her slave, feel free to stay, but I believe the mental conditioning to become a PUA makes it such that one could not live with that (or so I assume.) |
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DonPua
Member of PUA Forum
Joined: 05 Feb 2009
Posts: 170
Reputation: 18.1
votes: 2
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| Posted: Thu Nov 19, 2009 11:53 pm Post subject: |
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| She cheated on you and she will probably cheat on the one who stole her away from you. She is worth nothing. Find yourself another one. It might be difficult in the beginning but the faster you start gaming other women, the faster you will get over her. |
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FoolsMate
New to PUA Forum
Joined: 06 Nov 2009
Posts: 22
Reputation: 3.1
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| Posted: Yesterday at 7:10 pm Post subject: |
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More blame should always be placed on your partner than on the person he/she cheated on you with.
The same answer to oneitis applies here. Go out and sarge like crazy.
Sex is so much more rewarding than beating someones ass IMHO. Go out and get as much sex as possible. |
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