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Chief
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 Posted: Thu Sep 24, 2009 8:08 am Post subject: |
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| Luky wrote: | Anyhow, do you think it's wrong for me to disregard Asian women as part of my game?
...I'm curious to know if I should change my mentality?
...I'm not interested in them because (maybe deep down inside) I feel Asian men are undesirable and that by getting a white women (or any non-Asian) it'll help fill my ego, plus I've been exposed to too much pop culture. As much as I work on my inner game, there's still this nagging stigma I can't seem to undo! |
I know exactly how you feel, man. I, an Asian American, normally go for white chicks, too. It's also true that Asian men are at a disadvantage in the US compared to most men of other races. We are pretty much a close second to the handicapped in terms of being "sexually invisible." This is one of the main reasons I worked so hard to work on developing my game. If I hadn't, I would have suffered the same sexless fate as all the other Asian guys! As someone who started liking girls in the 2nd grade, I absolutely could not let that happen.
The standard of beauty that I was programmed to be attracted to by my environment was shit like Barbie. As I approached adulthood, I found myself to be less and less interested in Asian women. I don't think there was anything particularly wrong with that; it's just how things were. When it comes to ego, however, there is something wrong with that.
It sounds like you haven't come to terms with reality. You have not fully accepted that you are at a disadvantage for being an Asian man - because it is adversely affecting your inner game. You feel "deep down inside" that being Asian makes you undesirable, but you're trying to fight it. As soon as you accept things as the way they are, you can move forward to making a change.
In terms of the women you go for, the only thing you should be disregarding in your game is your own ego. If you find yourself sexually attracted to a woman, don't bother with whether she's white, yellow, black, red, orange, or purple. Just go for it based on pure desire alone. Fuck ego; it will only make you miserable.
| Luky wrote: | | Some other questions, do you think progressively going for hotter chicks is the way to go? Say I start out with 5's and 6's then work my way up? |
The rating scale is flawed and ego-based. Stop using it and just trust your feelings. If you feel attracted to a woman, go for it. Try your best to not compare women to each other and just enjoy each one for what they have to offer if what they offer makes you feel good.
| Luky wrote: | | Being Asian seems to be used against me a lot even by Asian women, how do I turn this around?! My situation is a little complicated because I'm from Hawaii where Asian guys are dirt common and white girls are uncommon. |
Your situation is not complicated. White chicks are hot and Asians guys are not. That's no different from the rest of the United States.
There are a number of things you should do:
1. Get your testosterone UP! Work out (at least a little every day), eat meat, sleep well, and do something that makes you feel FEAR every day. Scaring the shit out of yourself will increase your body's testosterone production. I shit you not.
2. Sculpt your body. Work out to make your body look hotter. This isn't absolutely necessary, and it's definitely not one of the most important things to do, but it's a really healthy and considerate thing to do. I say it's "considerate" because it gives women the chance to feel more sexually excited around you on top of the rest of your game. It's like being around a girl who works out to make you feel better about ravaging her hot body.
3. Break Asian stereotypes. There are millions of ways to do this. Get creative. The best way, however, is to find out who you really are - your identity as a man - independent of your race.
4. Use Cocky & Funny self-deprecating humor. I know that "Cocky & Funny" and "self-deprecating" seem like opposites, but they can actually go together quite well when you use verbal self-deprecation about your Asianness with a C&F attitude. It's actually a really cool form of frame control that disarms any woman from using your race against you. They can't use your race as grounds for rejecting you because you already made fun of yourself and demonstrated that it really is no big deal. If you frame is strong, she'll get sucked into it.
5. Most importantly, GET GOOD AT GAME! |
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Hobbit
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| Posted: Thu Sep 24, 2009 12:41 pm Post subject: |
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| I knew an Asian once who, from reading what you've said about them, wasn't the typical disadvantaged guy. Looking back now, he used to use a self depreciating/cocky funny humor. One of his jokes was something to the extent of having "2 inches of steel, 3 minutes of pain!" And it worked quite well. |
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Madals
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| Posted: Thu Sep 24, 2009 2:23 pm Post subject: |
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| Quote: | | You feel "deep down inside" that being Asian makes you undesirable, but you're trying to fight it. As soon as you accept things as the way they are, you can move forward to making a change. |
I do agree that you have to accept the way things are and that many things are not able to be changed, but I question your reasoning behind accepting you are at a disadvantage.
All of your posts highlight the loss of EGO and comparing yourself to others, surely by accepting you are at a disadvantage, you are actually comparing yourself to others still?
In my opinion, it is better to accept your circumstances and make the best of them. Very few people in my opinion are at a disadvantage, nearly everyone has "good" and "bad" things about themselves. Would you not agree a fundamental part of being an attractive person (not only sexually) is to highlight your strengths so people are drawn to them?
Madals |
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Chief
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| Posted: Thu Sep 24, 2009 2:57 pm Post subject: |
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| Madals wrote: | Very few people in my opinion are at a disadvantage, nearly everyone has "good" and "bad" things about themselves. Would you not agree a fundamental part of being an attractive person (not only sexually) is to highlight your strengths so people are drawn to them?
Madals |
Yes. I think that letting go of ego is more about looking at things without bias than it is about a lack of comparison, though. Letting go of ego involves accepting the unchangeable "bad" that you have instead of futilely trying to wrestle with it by either trying to hide your "bad" or by trying to dress it up to make it look like something else.
Rather than trying to do that shit, yes, I agree that you should highlight the "good." |
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V3nu
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| Posted: Fri Sep 25, 2009 1:54 am Post subject: |
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Hey Chief, I gotta ask this someone with experience like you.
How do you LJBF a gate keeper(a girl who has hot friends, or has a good social to which I wanna get in)?
Like the only thing a have seen so far Braddock is to disqualify yourself a lot, so if you hit on her friends she won't mind. But doesn't that actually create attraction and like challenges her to chase me?
What I have been doing so far is just creating rapport and just being in comfort the whole time.
But this haven't have so much success with just normal rapport, so I'm thinking of doing like hardcore comfort, like what she loves doing, what motivates her etc, basically making her a "bff", but in doing this I'm feeling that I'll be qualifying her .... So I'm not sure if that will make her a good LJBF
ps: I'm in college and I know a few girls who have really good+hot girlfriends, that's why I'm asking
Do you have any suggestion onto making a girl a good LJBF or where I can find more info on it?
Thanks :  |
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Chief
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| Posted: Fri Sep 25, 2009 1:55 pm Post subject: |
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| V3nu wrote: | How do you LJBF a gate keeper(a girl who has hot friends, or has a good social to which I wanna get in)?
Like the only thing a have seen so far Braddock is to disqualify yourself a lot, so if you hit on her friends she won't mind. But doesn't that actually create attraction and like challenges her to chase me?
What I have been doing so far is just creating rapport and just being in comfort the whole time.
But this haven't have so much success with just normal rapport, so I'm thinking of doing like hardcore comfort, like what she loves doing, what motivates her etc, basically making her a "bff", but in doing this I'm feeling that I'll be qualifying her .... So I'm not sure if that will make her a good LJBF
ps: I'm in college and I know a few girls who have really good+hot girlfriends, that's why I'm asking
Do you have any suggestion onto making a girl a good LJBF or where I can find more info on it? |
It's pretty simple, really. All you gotta do is become sort of the gay friend/little brother of that girl while expressing a lot of blatantly verbal interest for her friends in the privacy of your conversations with her. Let her take care of you in the way that a big sister or a mother takes care of her little brother or son in order to trigger her maternity instincts so that they may overshadow any sexual attraction. At the same time, say shit like "I think Sally is really cute. You think she'd ever go for a guy like me?" |
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V3nu
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| Posted: Fri Sep 25, 2009 5:20 pm Post subject: |
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| Chief wrote: | | It's pretty simple, really. All you gotta do is become sort of the gay friend/little brother of that girl while expressing a lot of blatantly verbal interest for her friends in the privacy of your conversations with her. Let her take care of you in the way that a big sister or a mother takes care of her little brother or son in order to trigger her maternity instincts so that they may overshadow any sexual attraction. At the same time, say shit like "I think Sally is really cute. You think she'd ever go for a guy like me?" |
I get that I have to do that, but my original question was: "how to do that"?
By disqualifying myself? - but doesn't that creaate more attraction
or maybe by doing hard rapport/comfort? |
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Chief
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| Posted: Sat Sep 26, 2009 4:54 am Post subject: |
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| V3nu wrote: | | Chief wrote: | | It's pretty simple, really. All you gotta do is become sort of the gay friend/little brother of that girl while expressing a lot of blatantly verbal interest for her friends in the privacy of your conversations with her. Let her take care of you in the way that a big sister or a mother takes care of her little brother or son in order to trigger her maternity instincts so that they may overshadow any sexual attraction. At the same time, say shit like "I think Sally is really cute. You think she'd ever go for a guy like me?" |
I get that I have to do that, but my original question was: "how to do that"?
By disqualifying myself? - but doesn't that creaate more attraction
or maybe by doing hard rapport/comfort? |
No no no, you need not disqualify. All you have to do is act like the hopeless child who can't take care of himself for shit so that it's like you need to rely on her to do things like help you fold your laundry and feed you. I do it all the time and it's actually quite easy for me because I really can't take care of myself for shit  |
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V3nu
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| Posted: Sat Sep 26, 2009 5:47 pm Post subject: |
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hmmmmmm that's sounds pretty interesting, thanks.
but like if I'm in my college classroom (because that's where I mostly see her), what you can you do in that "hopeless child" attitude? Right now my imagination is not working.... |
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Jethro
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| Posted: Sun Sep 27, 2009 3:08 am Post subject: |
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Yo chief I have 2 questions to ask
In your opinion what would be the best book for me to mold my game around
And I think I saw you entered the community in high school and I'm currently a jr. In high school who Is having problems closing on girls (can't isolate). So what I would like your advice on is how to number close a girl in class, hall, etc.
Thanks |
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Chief
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| Posted: Sun Sep 27, 2009 8:38 am Post subject: |
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| V3nu wrote: | hmmmmmm that's sounds pretty interesting, thanks.
but like if I'm in my college classroom (because that's where I mostly see her), what you can you do in that "hopeless child" attitude? Right now my imagination is not working.... |
You know how David Deangelo says you should treat your target as if she were your bratty little sister? Treat a girl you want to LJBF like she's your super cool big sister. Supplicate freely, do favors for her, ask her for advice, etc.
Your imagination will start working again the more you think about this.  |
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Chief
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| Posted: Sun Sep 27, 2009 11:43 am Post subject: |
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| Jethro wrote: | Yo chief I have 2 questions to ask
In your opinion what would be the best book for me to mold my game around |
The Attraction Code by Vin DiCarlo, The Way of the Superior Man by David Deida
| Jethro wrote: | | So what I would like your advice on is how to number close a girl in class, hall, etc. |
1. Have a conversation
2. Build rapport
3. "Give me your phone number; maybe we can hang out sometime" |
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V3nu
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| Posted: Sun Sep 27, 2009 5:10 pm Post subject: |
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| Chief wrote: | | V3nu wrote: | hmmmmmm that's sounds pretty interesting, thanks.
but like if I'm in my college classroom (because that's where I mostly see her), what you can you do in that "hopeless child" attitude? Right now my imagination is not working.... |
You know how David Deangelo says you should treat your target as if she were your bratty little sister? Treat a girl you want to LJBF like she's your super cool big sister. Supplicate freely, do favors for her, ask her for advice, etc.
Your imagination will start working again the more you think about this. |
Awesome, Thanks =)
Cheers |
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mazinga_zed
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| Posted: Wed Sep 30, 2009 5:41 pm Post subject: |
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My question is how do you build rapport quickly enough to get a follow through on Day 2. I am very good at approaching, talking and even closing. But what I have noticed is that the girls who I spent the least amount of time with are the most difficult to when I follow up. Obviously girls that I am able to spend more time with are easy. If you can get a girl to go on an instadate you're rock solid.
But I don't always have the time to spend 20 to 40 min with a girl I approach on a say the subway. I can get them to give me a number and even talk on the phone. But day 2 in that situation has so far been elusive. And of course it is risky to go on dates with people you meet on the New York Subway! So I don't really blame them.
How can I build rapport faster in 5 or 10 minutes and get my follow through rate up, ideas? |
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Chief
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| Posted: Thu Oct 01, 2009 12:22 am Post subject: |
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| mazinga_zed wrote: | My question is how do you build rapport quickly enough to get a follow through on Day 2. I am very good at approaching, talking and even closing. But what I have noticed is that the girls who I spent the least amount of time with are the most difficult to when I follow up. Obviously girls that I am able to spend more time with are easy. If you can get a girl to go on an instadate you're rock solid.
But I don't always have the time to spend 20 to 40 min with a girl I approach on a say the subway. I can get them to give me a number and even talk on the phone. But day 2 in that situation has so far been elusive. And of course it is risky to go on dates with people you meet on the New York Subway! So I don't really blame them.
How can I build rapport faster in 5 or 10 minutes and get my follow through rate up, ideas? |
assume rapport and time bridge your number close |
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