This might just piss you off.

I kinda hope it does, cos it's time to set the record straight:

The whole "Pickup" community, "The Game," "The Pickup Artist" and all...

It's all a lie.


Don't believe me? Read below what I wrote last year, and tell me what YOU believe.


I'm sitting on my friend's boat cruising down the river to the waterfront in Tampa. It's a cool summer night. Frogs are chirping, the sun is setting slow and pink, and the houses on the river's edge look more inviting with every minute.

And it hits me. I don't want to go out to bars and pickup chicks.

In fact, I never really did. I want something much harder to find, and much rarer to get.

I want love. And maybe it's because there are things that happened in my past that made me feel it was taken from me, and now I need to make it work.

And maybe it's because I know a lot of men just like me who can find all kinds of people, good, skilled teachers, to help them meet and fuck lots of women for one night, but can't find anyone who wants to help them find a woman who is worth keeping around for longer.

I want to date and fall in love. And my dream is to one day have lived my life with women so fully, and understand myself and women so well that when I find one that just won't leave my mind, I know what to do in order to keep dating her, every day and every night, for the rest of my life.

Maybe you know that feeling. Maybe not. Maybe you just want sex. And there's nothing wrong with that. God knows I've had my share of hookups and years where all that mattered was ending up in bed (or in a sand-trap, or the back of an Eddie Bauer Ford Bronco) with a willing, happy, heated up hottie.

But whatever you want now, exactly, the things you learn about women should always be designed to NOT exclude any result. The skills for all kinds of relationships are the same. It takes the same kind of guy to meet a girl and get her into bed as to keep her happily in your bed years later. They aren't different people.

You learn to pickup girls so you can build on it and learn to love women.

When I left my job at Stanford University to work for a pickup company full time, my father asked me one very good question.

"Do you want to be teaching guys how to pickup girls in bars when you are 50?" he asked.


I laughed it off. I made some intelligent-sounding remark about how that's not what we really do, and bars and clubs are just practice for people learning to be social. But the question stayed with me, because my answer was so clear.

No, I don't want to teach men how to pickup girls in bars when I'm 50. I don't want to teach them now that I'm 36.

I want to teach people how to find love and make it work. I want the big goddamned American dream. I want a great woman who treats me like a king, not because I play some games with her or manage the relationship well, but because I understand her, and she understands me, and we are adults who work well together and make each other stronger and happier in our love. I want a family of my own. I want kids to play with and throw a baseball too. I want football games on Thanksgiving in the backyard. I want my friends to bring their families over for barbeques and I want to know that we all can be in love and have someone to care for us exactly as who we are, and never have to suffer through divorce.

I want what we all deserve. Love. Companionship. A classic girl and more total happiness for less work.

I also know exactly what I don't want, and if you are like me and have already lived a little in your life, if you've built a career and have something good in your life and something to share and don't feel like ripping it all down and pretending you are something you're not just to get laid, well, I think you will understand this too.

A very wise man named Chris Rock explains it this way.

"There comes a time to settle down. Cos you don't want to be the old guy in the club. You know the guy. He's not that old. Just a lil' too old to be in the club."

I plan on looking and leering like an old Italian grandfather, playing dominoes in the shade with my buddies, and watching every beautiful girl that walks by -- I plan on watching women like some people watch birds, breathless and curious and with open admiration -- for the rest of my life. I will never lose my love, or even my desire, for the look and feel, the sound, smell, and vibe of new beautiful women.

But I get more joy from having one woman who I love and who loves me like a mother tiger. She's got my back, no matter what. And she will never stop being sexy to me.

There was a great quote on the show "Cheers," years ago that stuck in my brain. And I think of it every time I wonder what is it I really want. Coach was talking about his late wife with his daughter, and she couldn't quite understand why he loved her so much. He said simply,


"Your mother grew more beautiful every day of her life."


Imagine that. Imagine being with a woman you appreciate and want MORE every day you see her.

The UCP is going to keep growing to teach men AND women who want more than one night. I'm in this to learn and teach how to take one great night and make it one great LIFE:

http://lvo3.com/home/ucp.html

Cos we are all gonna want to be with the one best Lover we can find... eventually. THAT is the whole point.

I look at it like this. My heroes are the men who find great women and make it work. I mean the men you look at and you just KNOW they could still be out there getting new girls, but they have more important things to do. Or they found women so great, they know they left that round of the game with a winning ticket. Paul Newman. Arnold Schwarzenegger. Kurt Russell. James Carville. Jon Bon Jovi (did you know he's been married the ENTIRE time he's been disturbingly pretty Jon Bon Jovi?!?)

Even Springsteen, the greatest American musician (sorry, Dylan), found the woman and family you could hear his heart crying for as far back as "Asbury Park." And he had to really fuck it up first to make it right. If ever you go through a breakup and wonder if you are totally alone, get a copy of "Tunnel of Love," and you will hear your voice, better and rawer than you thought it could ever be.

Then on the other side, you've got the result of the guy who never grows up, who stays the old guy in the club forever. And call me a pussy, I don't care. This is just fucking sad.

"Tommy Lee's raunchy bar behavior grossed out a room full of revelers when the Motley Crue drummer and a blond party girl "were flat-out fucking" on a banquette, according to multiple witnesses. One told us, "When Tommy walked in, he asked, 'Is it cool to have sex in here?' The hostess thought he was kidding, but . . . then he just went to town with this girl. We were trying not to pay attention because it was so disgusting."


I don't want to be Tommy Lee. The guy has kids. He has sons. He has an ex-wife who is a mother to those sons. And this is how a Dad behaves in public? Call it cool if you want. And yeah, it changes with age. If you are 22 and hooking up with a girl in public, that's different. But a father of two, at age 45? At some point, hooking up with young skanks (and yes, I'm judgemental that way -- any girl who will fuck Tommy Lee in public is a fucking skank. No argument), just because you can looks... pathetic.

What is he trying to prove? Who is he trying to impress? And if that's what we really want, how come even this total Lothario ended up married and believing in true love forever?

I'm a romantic. I confess. I'm not a scientist of sex. I'm not here to break down the social systems that allow us to subvert the dominant paradigm and trick the world into giving us everything, like the cheat code in Contra that gives you limitless lives. There is always a dynamic with relationships, with men and women. No matter how good you are at your part, it only works if you find women who want what you want as well.

Perhaps it is possible for a man to have a woman to keep and a constant source of new pussy as well. Maybe you don't have to choose. But there's a balance of basic fairness at work as well. Whatever it is you want for yourself, you also have to want for her. I mean, no matter how mature we get, we're never really more advanced than the little kids who need to see the pieces of birthday cake cut exactly the same size for everyone. It is about fairness. You are a monument to justice.

And if what you really want is to have total freedom to do whatever you want and get away with it, you have to accept women will do the same.

So ask youself, player. What if the woman you spend the night with goes out the next night with a guy you don't like, and blows him in the bathroom of the club?

What if she fucked you one night, and the next night fucked your friend?

Go ahead and say that sounds cool. Go ahead and say that it doesn't matter to you what she does, or that you don't need it to seem like something even a little bit special.

But you are lying. One of the reasons we pursue women is because it is TOUGH to get them. You want to put in the effort it takes to fuck her because you know not just every man can. It does make you special. Having to work for it makes it worth it.

That's why all societies demonize the slut. Say what you want, but as soon as a woman makes it obvious she will fuck anyone, you don't want to fuck her.

If you are OK with it, you are ready to be a player. You worship freedom and want that with your whole heart for yourself and others. But I wonder how many guys see it differently... they want to date freely ONLY because they know women are too savvy to ever get caught with evidence of fucking another man.

Yeah, you want to fuck her, and fuck other girls. But you really don't want the girls fucking anyone else.

Messed up, isn't it?

Maybe I'm wrong. But I don't think so. I may be unstrung, but I'm not stupid. So think about what you really want. Freedom? Love? Sexual conquest? Power?

New pussy, or old pussy?

As always, please refer to the Gospel of Chris Rock, also known as "Bigger and Blacker," for everything you ever need to know about what's really going on with men and women.

Cos you don't want to be, as Chris Rock says, "the old guy in the club. Y'know, he's not that old... just a LIL' too old to be in the club."

Chances are, even at 15, you're already too old and too smart to be in the club. Think about what you want. Are you really satisfied by bubbleheads, or is it just the picture and the image and the idea that others will be totally impressed by the her big boobs and bigger vacuum in her cranium?

Cos no one cares about your happiness but YOU. So take what you want and do it for real.

"The Game" is not your answer. You aren't missing out on anything. You do NOT need to date a zillion women to find one who blows away all the competition. All you have to do is keep making your life better, funner, and flirtier, and she will come. Oh, she will come.

And if you still think "The Game" is the way to go, remember these words from that cinematic classic, "Wargames."

"Strange game. The only winning move is... not to play."


Yours in happy sexy geeky brotherhood,

Sean

_________________
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Sean Messenger
http://LVo3.com

"War is not the answer. Love is."

I see what your saying, but some of us aren't as patient to wait for that "one" to come. We all fear the what happens if it never comes? because that situation is always plausible. Also some of us are tired of watching other people doing the things we want but never had. Its like going to a steak house hungry but not ordering a steak you just watch others order and eat. Its not a good feeling and its even worst if you haven't experienced it much. You seem to have reached your standpoint in your life where your ready to let go of stuff because you've already had your fill and that's fine. As for newbs out there and myself we have a lot to experience first before we reach the point of resolve. You are definitely correct in that people need to know what they are looking for when they get into the game otherwise they just get lost and over obsessed steering away from any goals.

I see what you are saying, and I wasn't clear.

It's not about finding THE ONE and waiting for it. I mean the idea that you are supposed to go out and bang as many girls as possible is a TOTAL LIE.

I had no girls at all till i was 17. Then I sacked up and asked out a cute girl two grades younger than me. We had 6 of the best months of my life. Then I went to university and thought it was time to act like a stud. She felt alone, and some other dude came along when she was sad and she went.

And I was soooooo wrong. I was way happier with a cool chick than with trying to mack on hundreds, and that has never ever changed.

Pickup invented the lie that unless you mack like crazy, you'll never be happy, and that's bullshit. In fact, the more you mack, the harder it is to ever be happy or satisfied.

So do what you need to do. You see a girl you like GO FOR IT balls out. No regrets. No holding back. No fucking "game."

Take what you want, not what others tell you to look for.

_________________
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Sean Messenger
http://LVo3.com

"War is not the answer. Love is."

Interesting post. Unlike you, myself and most of those on this forum are at the beginning stages of our sexual lives. We have not amassed the same sort of experience and same sort of monotony that you have over the years.

I agree that 'The Game' (along with any one thing in life) is not the complete answer to happiness. 'The Game' is a way for men to learn to become more social and competent in talking to and attracting women. It will not guarantee life-long happiness, but it certainly will improve one's life. We are sexual beings, and men at our age (16-30) are evolutionarily designed to spread our seed as much as possible, it is our nature. While this may be the science, I totally agree that companionship can never be overlooked or taken for granted.

I do not want to just keep hooking up until I'm forty. Sean, you are one of the few that have reached the pinnacle of this lifestyle, and your bedpost is probably whittled down to a toothpick by now. Millions and millions of young adult males would kill to have that, would be internally fulfilled with that reality. 'The Game' provides a method for men to achieve their biological purpose of reproduction, but it does little for the biological desire for companionship and need to belong. 'The Game' is not a lie, but it is not the truth either.

_________________
There are no failures, only feedback.

*Applause*

One of the things that bothers me most is that so many people are so afraid of being hurt, or so convinced that they have to play into this idea of what society tells us we want in order to be cool, that they refuse to actually have a real relationship with someone when the opportunity comes along. Many times I have found a girl that I would love to have something more special with, but every time they were so jaded and afraid of being hurt by another guy, because they didn't believe men are interested in love and meaningful relationships.

Society has given men a bad name and convinced women that we want nothing other than meaningless sex. Society has convinced US of this too. I say FUCK society; man up and admit that you've actually got some emotions underneath it all and the reason you're here is actually because you had a crush on some girl and fell in love and couldn't get her, so you decided this was the way to make up for it.

Sleeping with hundreds of chicks isn't going to make your life any better. All that's gonna happen, is one day you'll be looking across the water, or something similar and you'll realise that you were on the wrong path and you've wasted so much time that you'll never get back. You'll end up wishing you could just find that ONE girl and be truly happy with her.

Ask the man that has slept with more women than any guy I have ever heard of. Ask Johnny Soporno. He told me that if he could be happy being with only one woman for the rest of his life, then that would be his ideal. Unfortunately, he says he just isn't wired that way and he suffers for it. He told me that if he could do it all over again, he wouldn't have slept with all the women he has and would instead settle for a much lower number in favour of doing more with his life.

Don't wait for that day to come. Realise that you've got that inside you right now and you can stop yourself from ever wishing you could do it all over again. Do more with your life than just aspire to sleep with tons of women. Do all sorts of amazing things and make sure you make some amazing connections with whatever women that you do have relationships with, rather than empty and emotionless ones.

_________________
"The 'Brick Walls' are there to allow you to prove how badly you want something!" ~ Randy Pausch

~ Rye

Well lets clear this whole thing up before we get into the huge conversation.

"The Game" isn't a lie. I guarentee some people have fun going out every night and trying to get with different girls. I can guarentee it.

I personally like spending time with one really awesome girl more...however I thought I found that girl, but it didnt work out. So I guess it's another girl. But until I find that girl whats the harm of having fun?

As long as you are happy whatever you are doing isn't a lie. There is no right way to live your life.

except... NO.

I have not slept with hundreds of women.

My number is probably around 60. And since like 30 of those were girlfriends (some only a week or two, but still, girls I thought had real potential), and since like another 15 of those were in one 2-year span at my little hippie university, I'm not like some super-cocksman.

This is nothing about "monotony." The best sex I ever had in my life, till the last few months, was with the first girl I ever fell in love with. I was 18 and she was 16 when we met. We dated for three years. Then I screwed up and cheated on her and treated her badly and lost her, and it fucking SUCKED.

And nothing, nothing, nothing came close to as good as I felt with her until this last year, when I finally pulled myself out of pickup completely.

Variety is nice, yes. And it's good to indulge. But honestly, would you rather spend your life eating the widest possible variety of junk food from every fast-food joint in the world, or sample a few of the very best things and decide what really gets you off?

And again, it's not for me to say. Maybe fucking 100s of women will make you happier, I don't know. I know for me that even the 20 or 30 or so that were real "pickups" for me just weren't great.

Well, except one. But I we were both so hungover I attribute it to lizard-brain hangover fucking. Sometimes that's the best.

I will say this for sure. The lowest feelings I've ever had have come after picking someone up and expecting some great reward of feeling to come from it, and then... nothing. Some of the worst sex and worst self-loathing have come from trying to do what wasn't really all that fun for me.

Of course, if I was in Motley Crue and skanks were sucking each other's titties just for me, I might feel like indulging in a lil fast food from time to time.

_________________
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Sean Messenger
http://LVo3.com

"War is not the answer. Love is."

I think I understand what your saying a bit better now in that people don't really know what they want from Pick Up other than to pick up girls 24/7 and its suppose to make them fulfilled by having many women in their lives?

THAT is fucking heavy.

Johnny, if you're reading this, it's stuff like THAT that is your gift to give. That's the Love, baby. That's fucking beautiful and real.

_________________
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Sean Messenger
http://LVo3.com

"War is not the answer. Love is."

Ok, but even still you are widely touted as one of the best in the world. Even if you aren't a man slut, you still have the ability and competence to attract and seduce almost any female you wish. There are so many AFC, hopeless men out there who have no success with women because they never learned the art and the psychology behind social dynamics. Game brings them this, and consequently brings happiness.
I was actually referring to the monotony of one night stands and club pick-ups, not to LTRs. I would get tired of picking up girls in clubs too if that was my life (and my work in your case).
I'd rather do a couple laps of the buffet, picking out samples of what I think I'd like, enjoying the taste as I went by. Eventually I would grow weary and need to sit down, so I would take a portion of what I felt was the best, take my time, and appreciate it.

_________________
There are no failures, only feedback.

Gracefully said Plethora,
Amen

_________________
How is the sky the limit,
If iv touched the stars.

Im really liking some of the posts in these forums now a days.

It's nice to see more posts like this now. It's a healthy reminder as to why I got into pick up. I did it to get better at meeting women, not for the sole purpose of banging them.

Aw, stop! ....You're embarrassing me!

Seriously, I meant it when I said it to Rye, and it's just as true right now -

I spent an incredible amount of energy and time developing my sexual skill-set, and instead of reveling in the joy and happiness I could share with the finest people around, I instead frittered my evenings away feeding my ego through finding endless new women to delight... Primarily those who appeared skeptical that *I* could be the man who'd 'move' them.

In retrospect, it was 'masturbatory overkill' - I had long since passed the level of 'diminishing marginal returns', yet failed to recognize that by actively scouting out new, disbelieving audiences to whom I could 'show off', I had become a validation junkie.

I wasted YEARS proving myself, over and over, again and again, without generating any genuine internal satisfaction! Merely the smugness which came from 'being the best' for women whose ONLY qualifications for my investment of energy came from their displaying an air of contempt or incredulity - and thereby presenting 'a challenge'.

Know what the real pisser was? NONE OF THEM WERE ACTUALLY A CHALLENGE - in fact, the ones who were most reticent and least-likely to sense my sincerity and justified self-confidence were usually the LEAST EXPERIENCED, least sexually-able, and most instantaneously won-over once I brought them to the mattresses!

Live and learn, they say - or you don't live long!

Now I find myself in an incredibly solid and damn-near perfect relationship, with a beautiful, vivacious, intelligent & sexually talented AND skillful woman (Violet) who satisfies me on every level, and with whom I can and do discuss EVERYTHING, with absolute candor and sincerity, honesty, and forthrightness. AND STILL, I need (honestly, it's a need, not a want) to "recharge my batteries" through extra-relational experiences, from time to time.

The BEST part is that Violet understands and appreciates this aspect of my nature, and doesn't suffer for it. She realizes that insisting I deny my nature would ultimately either force me to flee, or break my spirit; and with my spirit broken, I wouldn't be the man she loves so dearly.

She explains: If you want a tiger for a pet, you had better give it its freedom to do tiger-things; otherwise, you'll just end up with a very deflated and expensive-to-feed house cat. (Oh, and the cat-litter bills! )

So now, with my overriding enthusiasm for 'fresh meat' satiated, and my wanderlust at a manageable level, I take fantastic pleasure in enjoying every moment I spend with my beloved - and I look forward to our continuing to enjoy this tremendously profound situation forever more.

Ain't love grand?

Johnny Soporno
Worthy Playboy

You just changed my life man. This is something my father told me but I totally forgot about this and now see why its so fucking important Thank You