How do you get in the mood after being rejected



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PostPosted: Sat Mar 07, 2015 7:35 am 
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Today (friday) me and a girl planned to chill and smoke together. We made this plan monday and she seemed really into it. A lot more than me. She seductively said "ohh this'll be fun". I wasnt really planning on anything but us hanging out but even that didnt happen.

I sent her a text at about 4pm saying "I get off at like 12[am]. Lets get up then if it's not past your bedtime." I was at work so i just sent the first thing i though of and didnt really think about it until about 1130 and was like i should see if she texted. i looked and nothing. I went back to work and then i feel my pocket vibrate. I look about 10 minutes later and i have 4 text. Okay cool she's still down i think. i looked and 2 of the messages were from my mom and 2 were from people i dont want to talk to. It was pretty disappointing. I know she got the messages too because i was playing on snapchat and saw she posted something a little after i sent her the message.

I feel more awkward about it because we work in the same place and she sometimes comes back and flirts with me and idk how to feel about this. and She's actually the one who asked me to smoke with her. So idk how to even handle this situation. This is a new one



Anyway when things like this happen i just want to be alone. I have a hard time trusting people and each time something like this happens (often) i feel validated in that belief and get deeper and deeper into it. I usually can force myself out of it but its been getting a lot harder. What do you guys do to force yourself to talk to women when you dont feel like it?


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PostPosted: Sun Mar 08, 2015 11:07 am 
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first of all you making one single girl the reason of your emotions.
if anything that should be your mother.

this girls does not owes you anything
do not come up with these trust issues just cause a girl flaked on you

do not be a creeper, hey i have gone through the same situation and if there is something i learned is that the more you want something out of someone the less is likely to happen.

i get flaked at least 2 a week, but i do not make things a big deal. I'm not gonna die if a girl can't make it to coffee tomorrow, or I'm not gonna cry just because this girl did reply back to my message.

there is plenty of girls out there, not every single girl is gonna like you, not every single girl is gonna date you not every girl will talk to you.
besides you work with this girl why do you want to shit where you eat?
the only way things are gonna get awkward is if you make them awkward.

there is no sympathy. you want to get better a this shit! you have to toughen up!
you cannot let one single girl be the dictator of your life. while you are here posting about how she didn't text you back she was probably getting fucked by another guy.
girls flirt a lot do not think you are the only guy she will flirt with. seems like you already are picturing your future together with her.
DONT.
talk to more girls, become more abundant you won't have this problem again.

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PostPosted: Sun Mar 08, 2015 7:44 pm 
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I would've preferred if she was doing someone else but she was alone.

And it's not one girl it's many girls. I keep getting really close and when I try to close nothing. I feel pretty stupid because I could've used that time to do something else worthwhile.


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PostPosted: Mon Mar 09, 2015 7:07 am 
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to me sounds like every rejection to you its a waste of time.
and it clearly is since you are not learning from them

there is so much to learn from rejections.
and if its happening to you a lot you need to know why.

are you being congruent with your words, thoughts and actions?
are you being clear in your intent?

so far seems like you are being attention seeking from the girl.
is she rejects you so what? there are more girls you can start over from
assume the value. you are the man.

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PostPosted: Mon Mar 09, 2015 8:45 am 
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Quote:
to me sounds like every rejection to you its a waste of time.
and it clearly is since you are not learning from them

there is so much to learn from rejections.
and if its happening to you a lot you need to know why.

are you being congruent with your words, thoughts and actions?
are you being clear in your intent?

so far seems like you are being attention seeking from the girl.
is she rejects you so what? there are more girls you can start over from
assume the value. you are the man.

Yeah but it's ahrd to say "ok on to the next when" when whenever you do the next one rejects you. And at first i was learning from my mistakes and i dont make them again. I figured the first few ok but i thought i wouldve gotten one girl to at least hang out by now.


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PostPosted: Fri Mar 13, 2015 10:23 pm 
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Was the plan to 'smoke together' at her place? Do you know where she lives? If so, why didn't you just go over there once you finished work? She probably saw no need to reply to your text and was probably waiting for you to come over and bang her that night.


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PostPosted: Tue Apr 28, 2015 10:53 pm 
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Girls are flaky. It's just part of playing the game. The worst thing you can do is be reactive and start dwelling on it. Just ask her "what happened to you the other day" in a calm manner. Don't make a big deal out of it.

Maybe something important came up for her. Don't just automatically assume that she's rejecting you. But even if she is rejecting you. It's not a big deal. Just learn from the experience and then move on.


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PostPosted: Wed Jun 03, 2015 4:54 pm 
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No amount of logic is going to fix your problem of feeling down when you feel rejected,
because that is an EMOTION. And you can never heal emotion with logic.

So one of the things you can do when you feel rejected is go and hang out with friends that
care about you. When you feel really vulnerable, what ever you do,
NEVER stay with yourself and have your dark thoughts surround you.

Call up a friend and say, "What's up?" and talk with him until the negative emotion of rejection
passes.

Works every time.

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PostPosted: Wed Jun 03, 2015 6:43 pm 
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Quote:
No amount of logic is going to fix your problem of feeling down when you feel rejected, because that is an EMOTION. And you can never heal emotion with logic.

Call up a friend and say, "What's up?" and talk with him until the negative emotion of rejection
passes.
I don't agree logic won't help. Part of this guys problem is he is lacking in logic related to the way game goes. At least we can fix ignorant!

Logic assists us in getting thru the emotions of rejection. If you know there are tons of girls out there and that everyone has flaws, does that not help you realize that being upset over one failed pickup/girl is ILLOGICAL and therefore you should not FEEL UPSET?

I do frequently use the "phone a friend" as well, but that's not the only option. Part of the problem in this community is being too tied up with girls. We sometimes miss the part that working on ourselves is more valuable than just gaming girls or just finding something to do that we enjoy!

OP,

I bet it was helpful just to come to this forum and type up your post! How much material have you read about pickup? There is so much to absorb I bet you haven't scratched the surface!!!

Here's another logic piece to cure your irrational emotions; The best 'players' will tell you their conversion rate is 10%. That means they get with 1 out of every 10 girls they've hit on. From the way you type, my guess is you haven't even hit 9 yet.


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PostPosted: Wed Jun 03, 2015 10:28 pm 
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Quote:
Logic assists us in getting thru the emotions of rejection. If you know there are tons of girls out there and that everyone has flaws, does that not help you realize that being upset over one failed pickup/girl is ILLOGICAL and therefore you should not FEEL UPSET?
Good luck with that.
Quote:
How much material have you read about pickup? There is so much to absorb I bet you haven't scratched the surface!!!
You're right.
Quote:
Here's another logic piece to cure your irrational emotions; The best 'players' will tell you their conversion rate is 10%. That means they get with 1 out of every 10 girls they've hit on. From the way you type, my guess is you haven't even hit 9 yet.
Good conversion rate.

_________________
Test out my new Approach Anxiety technique, that eliminates your AA
in UNDER an hour (2022 updated)

You can try it here Here: New AA Cure


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