4 STEPS FROM MEETING TO GETTING HER NUMBER
Guys often tell me that their main problem with meeting women
is in that they don't really understand the steps for meeting women.
Mostly, they are in the dark about what are the STEPS from meeting
a girl to asking for her number or going out with her.
Over the course of a few years, I've reverse-engineered successful
approaches and meetings and discovered there are basically only
4 MAIN STEPS from meeting a girl to receiving her number.
Right now I want to share with you these 4 steps, and lay out in front of
you exactly how to meet women, so you can understand the simplicity
behind it.
By the way, I call these 4 steps The Simple Approaching Steps.
So I know there are a lot of methods out there, like the Mystery method,
the method of some of the guys on the forum here, but I'd like to offer
my own method which is much simpler to understand and follow.
And before I get fully into the 4 steps, let me just make a side not:
There is a quote that I really like, and it's about playing Jazz music.
It's says:
"Learn everything there is about music...then forget everything and just play"
- Jaco Pastorious (hope I spelled it right, lol)
And that is the attitude I want you to have as you're learning this.
Learn everything there is to know about meeting women, and when you do, put
all of that in your subconscious, don't think about it but just do it.
Your subconscious will give you what you need WHEN you need it. But if you
try to THINK about this and do it at the same time, you'll come off as
rigid and awkward.
I'll go deeper into this on other post, for now just keep that in mind
as you're reading this.
So, here are the 4 steps.
The only 4 steps you need to go through from meeting women to getting their
phone number are these:
Step #1: SAY SOMETHING
Step #2: KEEP SAYING SOMETHING
Step #3: PLAY
Step #4: LEAD TO THE NEXT LEVEL
Trust me, they are extremely simple and follow a natural course of events. There is
nothing un-natural or weird about them.
Let me explain each step one by one.
Step #1: SAY SOMETHING
The first step to meeting a girl is obviously to start a conversation with her.
To start a conversation, I discovered it's not necessary to memorize routines
or openers, but you can use a much more simplistic approach to this.
You only need to SAY SOMETHING.
You see, there are only 3 ways of starting a conversation by saying something with any girl.
They are:
1. Say or gesture HELLO
2. Make a COMMENT
3. Ask a QUESTION
So let's say you're walking down the street. You're minding your own business, and suddenly
you see HER.
And as she walks past you, she looks at you and you two have that what I call "Presence Moment",
where both of you acknowledge each other for existing.
At this point, let me ask you, what would be the natural thing to do?
To walk up to her and begin "Faze 1" of "Running an opener routine and in that demonstrating
higher value"...?
Or would the natural thing be to just Say Something?
Now let's use the 3 ways of saying something in this example.
You can say:
"Hi" (HELLO)
or
"What's up?" (QUESTION)
or
"That's a nice dress" (COMMENT)
Now that you said something, she looks at you and she SAYS SOMETHING BACK to you.
She says something like:
"Hi"
or
"Just walking, how about you?"
or
"Thanks."
Now I know what you're thinking: "But what if she IGNORES me??"
Let me say it like this: You haven't invested much in the conversation, so it DOESN'T MATTER.
If she ignores you or doesn't respond well, WHO CARES?
You just leave her and you move on to the next girl.
But in most cases you'll notice that women will say something back at you.
Ok, so now that you've said something, and she said something, it's time for the...
Step #2: KEEP SAYING SOMETHING
So how do you keep the conversation going? How do you, when she says something back
to you, not mess it up and stare at her in silence?
You learn how to keep saying something.
Here's a simple way of doing this:
Let's say she said hello back, what do you do?
It's fairly simple - going back to the 3 ways of starting a conversation, now that you've
said HELLO to her, you can jumpstart the conversation by either ask her a QUESTION, or
making a COMMENT.
So for example, when she says Hi back to you, you can say,
"What's up?"
Now, there is one belief that stops guys from using this.
It's the belief that "It can't be that SIMPLE".
I am here to tell you YES it CAN.
The only reason why you think this could be complicated is because people on the pick up forum
have told you that it's complicated.
Mystery said you have to go through 3 "Fazes".
Some other dude said something else.
The important thing is to keep it simple. If, when you start a conversation with a woman you
go into your head and you think about "O wait now I have to perform and do 332 different
things..."
You'll make it hard for yourself.
So keep it simple.
Ok, so let's continue.
At this point you just want to have a normal conversation. You can talk about what she's up
to today, about what she's doing out here today...and then about what she does for a living,
about where she goes to school...
So normal, BORING questions.
Now the reason why this works is because boring conversation actually isn't that boring - because
you both feel that initial excitement of having a conversation with each other.
You remember what I said about FEAR being your ally as it gives you energy and enthusiasm?
Well when you're going to have a conversation with a girl, you're going to feel fear - and
at this point, use that fear to give you that energy to not make the conversation boring.
So now you had a nice, logical and almost boring conversation, but to make this work, you need
another piece of the puzzle.
STEP #3: PLAY
This step of PLAY is all about how you go from just chit-chatting to actually making moves
with the girl - and show her that you're not there really to just make friends.
In reality, this step is much more simpler than I'm making it sound here.
Here's the basic philosophy behind this PLAY:
> Girls are mostly emotional. We are mostly logical.
> When we start talking with a girl that we want to date, we try to be all logical.
> And that's cool at the beginning, but for a girl to actually like you, you need to show your
other side - the emotional side.
> The best way to show that you're not a logical tight ass is to PLAY with the girl.
> And play is very simply just NOT BEING SO DAMN SERIOUS around her.
So joking with her - not telling jokes - but joking with the girl.
Teasing her and accusing her how she's taking up your valuable time by talking to you
just because she wants to seduce you and date you.
Accusing her of checking out your ass and stripping you naked in her mind.
Being almost too comfortable with her and pretending she's your spoiled little sister.
In short, busting balls with her and not taking the conversation too seriously.
That's what PLAY step is all about.
So let me give you an example of how this works:
Let's say you're talking about the weather and how spring is the best season.
If you want to spice things up a little bit and create that spark and fun in your
conversation, all you need to do is to say,
"Yea I love spring. The only problem I have with it is that girls start talking to me
because they like me, but they don't know how to show it to me so they talk about
something totally else...like how much they love spring..."
OR
"Spring is my favorite season. I just love how love is in the air. The only problem
I have with it is when girls look at me but really they're stripping me in their
mind...I kind of feel uncomfortable when they do that..."
Or you two are sitting behind a table, and you take a napkin and you "stroke" her
with it in a playful manner.
"There, I won. I hit you first so I won."
In other words, in PLAY part, you show your inner boy. You do stupid, childish things
and you have FUN with it.
You show that you are just too comfortable with her, and that you don't really
take this conversation with her TOO seriously.
The main reason why this works is because attraction is created by POLARITY.
So you have the North Pole and the South Pole, and they create gravity on earth.
Ying and Yang create a whole.
White and Black, Dark and Light, Aggression and Tenderness...Asexuality and Sexuality...
To create that spark between you two, you need to PLAY with opposites.
So if you have a very serious conversation, you need to add non-serious part to it
to create that spark.
Make sense?
I'll talk about this in some other posts, for now let's go to the final step:
STEP #4: LEAD TO THE NEXT LEVEL
So the next and final step is to lead the girl to the next level.
You've said something, you've kept saying something, you've played with her... and now what?
It's obvious that it's time for you to take things to the next level.
But what exactly do you want to do?
> Do you want to get her number?
> Do you want to ask her out?
> Do you want to have an instant date with her right on the spot?
What do you want to do?
The most important thing to keep in mind when wanting to take things to the
next level is that YOU have to LEAD the way.
If you want her number, YOU need to LEAD it and say: "Give me your number".
If you want her to go out with you, you need to LEAD and say, "We should hang out
sometimes...do you want to go out with me?"
If you want her to have a cup of coffee with you immediately, you need to LEAD the way
and say, "Hey, I got like 15 minutes to spare, let's go and grab a cup of coffee right now..."
The worst thing to do is to try to make the girl responsible for making the next step.
You are "The Man", whatever that means, and you have to LEAD.
I want to encourage you to not be afraid, but "GRAB that the bull by it's horns" and take charge.
Don't be a puss, TELL the woman what you want with no SHAME, INSECURITY or pussy-footing
around her.
LEAD the way.
And lastly, let me repeat what I said at the beginning of this post:
"Learn everything there is to know, and then forget about it and just do it"
Keep these steps at the back of your mind, put them in your subconscious and don't
think about them as you're talking with a girl.
They will show up when you need them.
So there are the 4 steps from meeting to getting a girls number.
Let's recap:
> There are only 3 ways of starting a conversation: HELLO, QUESTION or COMMENT
> The way you keep saying something is by having a normal conversation with her
> The way you spark the conversation is through PLAY, which is not taking the conversation
too seriously
> You need to LEAD the girl to the next level, whether it be her phone number or asking her out
and not expect her to lead.
Your first step:
Again, let me hit you with a leg-up free session with me. I love helping guys get this area of their
life handled, so I want to help you with learning how to meet women.
That's why I've prepared a free "4 Steps to Meeting Any Girl" SPAM session with me,
where I'll help you to:
> Learn the 4 steps from meeting a girl to getting her number
> Help you reveal your hidden limiting beliefs and insecurities that are
stopping you from being able to have a conversation with women
> Uncover your #1 anxiety that is stopping you from meeting women (Approach anxiety, conversation
anxiety, sexual anxiety or escalation anxiety)
> My promiss is that after our session together, you'll know the exact steps on how to start,
continue and get the girls number with any girl.
To get this free "4 Steps to Meeting Any Girl" SPAM session with me, either click the link
in my signature or send me a pm saying:
> Your name and age
> Your biggest frustration with meeting women
> The best time and day for our session together (include your time zone)
I'll respond in about 2 days, depends on my time schedule and let you know on the
time we can talk.
Now go practice these 4 steps with women, and remember - don't take this too seriously.
Learn it - and forget it.
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