So I was talking to a girl for a long time and she had been pursuing me hardcore but I didn't want to commit (not to go out and be a player at all but because I couldn't offer what she wanted) so we were close friends. After slowly giving up on me other guys were showing interest in her and she was interested back. College was over and I could finally commit and date her and she agreed. Timing was bad and we never made time for each other because at the time I had personal problems popped up in my life. Right when I was going to start putting effort and change it all around she left me and just wanted to be friends and I found out she had been talking to my friend and now they're dating. I told her not to talk to me anymore and that I don't even want a friendship. I miss her a lot and want to start keeping in contact again and eventually try to get her back. It's hard right now because she's infatuated with this guy but is it possible? And what should I do? I wouldn't mind getting her back, not to mention it will teach this douche a lesson because I don't know what kinda dbag friend dates a girl you just finished dating and act like it's okay.

So as you can see, I snipped out the key focal points of your post. That last one was more a paraphrase on my behalf. You seriously are acting like a tool. You played with a girls emotions. She had respect for herself and found a guy who respected her too. He probably thinks you're a tool, but has enough cooth to be cordial to your face and not start drama. I doubt he really values your friendship and thus is taking a girl, that it's clear, you don't actually care about.

So you want to know what to do? You leave the girl alone. You congratulate the "friend" and wish them both well. Then you look at yourself in the mirror and figure out what it is inside you that is driving that spiteful, mean, vindictive behavior, and you work on improving. Because you will find yourself alone, miserable, and bitter one day if you don't.

That's my advice.

I do actually care about her more than any other girl I've met in my life. The reason I didn't spend time with her was their was some intense personal stresses in my life. I didn't tell her about them until afterwards and she felt bad because she thought at the time of the relationship I didn't care about her and just ignoring her which was def not the case. Pretty much at my low point she wasn't there for me and I wish I told her about it before. If I had another chance I'd treat her so good.

Life's a bitch. You can try and tell her those things. But chances are, you missed the opportunity. In the future, you should work on communicating better. I can already see you struggle in that department just by the two posts here, which convey two completely different stories.

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