Should i break up with my girlfriend?



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PostPosted: Mon Nov 19, 2018 1:19 am 
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? i've been having many issues related to trusting her in the past 3 and a half years we dated...
In the beginning of our relationship,(first week or so) i discovered she lied to me about a guy who was texting her very often. She talked a lot about him , and i didn’t suspect they had a past toghther because she was always saying they were just friends, until one time i took her phone and saw old conversatons of the two.
It happens that, in fact, they had a short-term / sex based relationship before i started going out with her. She sayed when i started going out with her, she was seeing/going out with both of us, and after he discovered, he dumped her. I became very angry , but kinda let go when she told me ,because i was seeing another chicks when i met her. I just sayed to her that if we are going to move on she had to stop talking to the guy and block him in any social media, because she was commited with me, and not him .

A long time after that, (about 3 months ago), i was using her computer for a college work, and when i openned the browser , her SPAM was logged in, and she was talking AGAIN with the same guy ,
it was nothing heavy, (as if they were combining to meet or something), they were just talking normal things , but at some point in the conversation the guy was flerting with her , and she did not 'cut' off the guy, she only kept laughing about the stuff the he was saying to her. She also was deleting the conversation from time to time , because she knows i was obsessed and look at her phone frequently , because of the first time she talked to the dude and i saw it. I watched all the conversation on the computer, (wich occoured during all day) and then i called her at the evening and break up with her. I felt really bad , and after 1 week or so , although i was going out with one girl i met in a club the same day we break up, i came back with her.

When that happened, i asked her if she went out with someone in the time we were split, and she said no ( wich is a lie, because after some time her brother said by accident in a dinner that she went out that week and came back late) , Even she didn't want to tell me the truth, i told her about the girl i had sex in the week we were split, and she just replied "ok" and didn't get angry or anything, like she didn't care.
Now that were back, its been a fucking hell. Im Always looking above my shoulder, suspecting that maybe she eventualy cheat on me or even worse, ( wich is the possibility she already done that ) . I was a very confident guy and never had problems with the girls i dated, but now after 3 years , all i feel when shes not around me is insecurity. I know she made a mistake, but i still like her. Should i end this once for all , or there is a way i can fix it?

A few things to consider:
* I am pretty much sure she still liked this guy when we started dating.
* She lies A LOT , about EVERYTHING , even to her mom
* In the beginning of our relationship , she said to me she only had sex with me and more 2 guys, (im her first boyfriend), but eventualy i discovered she had sex like with at least 8 guys before me. One of them lives across her street, and before this SPAM thing i discovered she had an ocasional conversation with the guy in a store. I knew this was one of the guys she hook up with before because she told me , but when i interrogated her about who was the guy and why she was talking to him she panic and tell it was just one of her brothers friends.. lol
* She was very mean to me in the beginning of our relationship, triyng to make me feel jealous about other dudes of her past and making statements all the time , almost like trying to compare me* She have serious daddy issues.
* Her parentes split when she was at a very young age, and she was raised by her mom. Her daddy never gave her enough attention but somehow she seems like to enjoy more of his company than her moms, besides him being a jerk and mistreat her all the time


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PostPosted: Thu Nov 22, 2018 10:33 pm 
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Quote:
* She lies A LOT , about EVERYTHING , even to her mom
BIG red flag to begin with. Never ever get hooked with these kind of girls ever again.
Quote:
A long time after that, (about 3 months ago), i was using her computer for a college work, and when i openned the browser , her SPAM was logged in, and she was talking AGAIN with the same guy
Never okay, you can't rationalize this one. They had a sexbased relationship as you said it and if they don't have a kid together or some financial hook there is no reason having contact.
They've probably fucked each other during the time with you.
Quote:
She also was deleting the conversation from time to time , because she knows i was obsessed and look at her phone frequently , because of the first time she talked to the dude and i saw it.
Sexting and maybe even hookups.
If she really had nothing to hide in the conversations with the guy, would she delete it? No!
Quote:
When that happened, i asked her if she went out with someone in the time we were split, and she said no ( wich is a lie, because after some time her brother said by accident in a dinner that she went out that week and came back late) , Even she didn't want to tell me the truth, i told her about the girl i had sex in the week we were split, and she just replied "ok" and didn't get angry or anything, like she didn't care.
She doesn't.
Or she does, but not on a deep level like it should be in a dedicated relationship. She is lying and being manipulative, and these behaviors have gotten you into a reactive and overpossesive wimp. She has you by the balls and she knows it.
Quote:
all i feel when shes not around me is insecurity.
Quote:
I was a very confident guy and never had problems with the girls i dated
Which is a better of reality?

Dude, I know it's though doing this. But you have to be fucking strong. Reading through your text and it feels like you already know the answer to this. I get mad right now cuz I know she's very cute and supportive despite all the other shit. It's easy blaming yourself with these kinds of chicks, thinking it's you having a problem with the trust and that you need to work on that. Fuck that. She's lying to everybody.
Stop being blind, face the reality, dump her and start working on yourself again.


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PostPosted: Fri Nov 23, 2018 3:40 am 
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Quote:
Never okay, you can't rationalize this one. They had a sexbased relationship as you said it and if they don't have a kid together or some financial hook there is no reason having contact.
They've probably fucked each other during the time with you.
Yeah, in the worst case scenario that may be true. Or, they just talked random shit from time to time. Truth is, i don't have proof of anything besides the conversation
Quote:
Sexting and maybe even hookups.
If she really had nothing to hide in the conversations with the guy, would she delete it? No!
Again , no proof. All I know apart from the conversation, (what she told me when we got back) is that they talked in person sometime during those 3 years, one or maybe twice (before this SPAM episode), at university. But again, I don't have proof of anything, whether it was premeditated or whether it was a random encounter. Another strange thing is that the guy knew exactly the right time to start talking to her, which is when she's in class and I'm not around her. :?
Quote:
Dude, I know it's though doing this. But you have to be fucking strong. Reading through your text and it feels like you already know the answer to this. I get mad right now cuz I know she's very cute and supportive despite all the other shit. It's easy blaming yourself with these kinds of chicks, thinking it's you having a problem with the trust and that you need to work on that. Fuck that. She's lying to everybody.
Stop being blind, face the reality, dump her and start working on yourself again.
Yes man, I kind of already know what I have to do, the problem is, that I do not even know where to start. We kind of have been living together since the beginning of this year ... in this last fight I kicked her out of my house and sent her to her mother's, but now that we're "fine" it's a lot harder to act than when i was pissed at her. Any tips?
Thanks for replying me dude, its been real hard to deal with the situation :(


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PostPosted: Sat Nov 24, 2018 12:41 am 
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Quote:
Quote:
Never okay, you can't rationalize this one. They had a sexbased relationship as you said it and if they don't have a kid together or some financial hook there is no reason having contact.
They've probably fucked each other during the time with you.
Yeah, in the worst case scenario that may be true. Or, they just talked random shit from time to time. Truth is, i don't have proof of anything besides the conversation
Quote:
Sexting and maybe even hookups.
If she really had nothing to hide in the conversations with the guy, would she delete it? No!
Again , no proof. All I know apart from the conversation, (what she told me when we got back) is that they talked in person sometime during those 3 years, one or maybe twice (before this SPAM episode), at university. But again, I don't have proof of anything, whether it was premeditated or whether it was a random encounter. Another strange thing is that the guy knew exactly the right time to start talking to her, which is when she's in class and I'm not around her. :?
Quote:
Dude, I know it's though doing this. But you have to be fucking strong. Reading through your text and it feels like you already know the answer to this. I get mad right now cuz I know she's very cute and supportive despite all the other shit. It's easy blaming yourself with these kinds of chicks, thinking it's you having a problem with the trust and that you need to work on that. Fuck that. She's lying to everybody.
Stop being blind, face the reality, dump her and start working on yourself again.
Yes man, I kind of already know what I have to do, the problem is, that I do not even know where to start. We kind of have been living together since the beginning of this year ... in this last fight I kicked her out of my house and sent her to her mother's, but now that we're "fine" it's a lot harder to act than when i was pissed at her. Any tips?
Thanks for replying me dude, its been real hard to deal with the situation :(
You never have any proof what so ever when it comes to this shit, unless you catch them right in the act or can see it straightup in a text, which is a source she's manipulating. Maybe she did something or maybe she didn't, you still cannot be sure with her cuz she's obviously not playing things straight.
You need to use your brains here and not your heart. What's the options here? Staying within the relationship and walk around with that knot of insecurity... You can be seriously damaged over time...

Just break out with her but don't put the blame on her shoulders. Tell her that she means a lot to you but you don't like the person you've become within the relationship. Essentially, that's the truth right?
These things aren't easy and it will take time and inner work afterwards.


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PostPosted: Sun Feb 24, 2019 3:46 pm 
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Quote:
? i've been having many issues related to trusting her in the past 3 and a half years we dated...
I'm strongly recommended breakup with her ... She not loved you & just playing with you to sex .Don't worry . Try searching you perfectly


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PostPosted: Sun Mar 10, 2019 8:34 am 
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I stopped reading at the first instance of her lying about a guy.

HOE.

Move on to the next one. Disrespect must not be tolerated EVER.


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