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He says he doesn't want to commit
https://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=99542		 Page 1 of 2
Author:  carla [ Mon Aug 22, 2011 11:23 pm ]
Post subject:  He says he doesn't want to commit
Hey guys, I know that this forum isn't really for girls but I'm really confused and I would really appreciate a mans advice on this... I met this guy a year ago, we get on really well and are good friends but there's definitely a connection. I really like him but sometimes I think it could be that he is a player and knows all the right things to say and do. Anyway we've been out a good few times and he's said to me that he feels we have real chemistry and he thinks we would have amazing sex. I have only ever kissed him but the last time I kissed him things got very hot and I ended up scraping his back and biting him so he prob thinks i'm a freak now:-( I stayed with him that night we just slept beside each other with our clothes on, the next morning he was very kind to me and we kissed and went for breakfast and things were good but before he left I did something stupid and I asked him what it was that he wanted with me and he said that he def didnt want a relationship. I really like him but I dont want to just sleep with him casually because I know i will end up getting hurt. Do you think there is any possibility he will change his mind or should I just end it?Its just hard cos I really like him.
Author:  Mack 2.0 [ Tue Aug 23, 2011 1:08 am ]
Post subject: 
congratulations.

sounds like you've picked up a great pua.

lol.

case in point.

he tells carla he doesn't want her.

and she wants him more for it.
Author:  ProfessorX [ Tue Aug 23, 2011 1:22 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
I really like him but I dont want to just sleep with him casually because I know i will end up getting hurt. Do you think there is any possibility he will change his mind or should I just end it?Its just hard cos I really like him.
You should totally sleep with him! Then when he still doesn't give you what you want, get really mad and tell him he's an a-hole and a jerk, then tell your friends what a jerk and a womanizer he is an how all men are trash. Then watch them line up to try to sleep with him! Lol!

He told you what's up, either do it and live with the consequences or go find yourself a nice guy who actually wants to be with you.
Author:  carla [ Tue Aug 23, 2011 10:21 am ]
Post subject: 
Thanks for your advice, when you put it like that it makes it alot clearer!I'll just have to walk away:-( Do guys like that ever change and actually want a relationship? Like could I have done something differently to make him want to be more that just friends with benefits?
Author:  N1ck9141 [ Tue Aug 23, 2011 10:39 am ]
Post subject: 
a great PUA which he sounds like, never change u can never turn it off your head always spots the angles ...

we can settle down it happens, but not with a girl we have already desided isnt anything more than our current game..

sorry hun, im sure your gorgous n smart but hes in the lead this time, u can enjoy what u got for now, but cut those heart strings before they brake and be prepared to walk away from him, nothing wrong with u gaming him WE LOVE IT!!!! lol

so go to his hav some fun, then make sure yr the first up n dressed u gotta go need to meet a friend but thanks, it was alright and leave :P

see what happens i no i might get murdered for helping women game, but my Ex girlfriend now good friend and amazing female wing!!! love her, she comes out with me and games guys while i game girls all the time so i no yr handy to have around :) and my and her still had some fun once in a while ;)
Author:  Don Draper [ Tue Aug 23, 2011 10:41 am ]
Post subject: 
Yes, they do. When they meet the right women.

What's the 'right woman'? Well, that's something which can only be answered by each individual.

And he's made his point clear, he doesn't want a relationship. There's NOTHING you can do about it. When a man makes up his mind against one, he sticks to that.
Author:  Mr Archer [ Tue Aug 23, 2011 10:47 am ]
Post subject: 
Guys like that can change, but this guy specifically probably won't change for you and most certainly wouldn't change on a time schedule you are happy with.

Could you have done anything differently, probably not.
Author:  carla [ Tue Aug 23, 2011 11:12 am ]
Post subject: 
I want to thank you all for your advice it really means a lot to me that you would take the time out to help a girl on this. And also because I know that I probably would have gone out with him again and slept with him and then I would have been devastated the next day when he left and never called. Your advice makes so much sense- my girlfriends told me I should sleep with him a few times and that it would prob fall into a relationship and that I should talk to him about it and ask him why but now I know from what you’ve said that would never work. I don’t think friends with benefits will work I like him too much and it would break my heart to be used by him. I hope we can still be friends though. Anyway thank you for saving me from a week of tears, you’re the best!
Author:  N1ck9141 [ Tue Aug 23, 2011 11:14 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
I want to thank you all for your advice it really means a lot to me that you would take the time out to help a girl on this. And also because I know that I probably would have gone out with him again and slept with him and then I would have been devastated the next day when he left and never called. Your advice makes so much sense- my girlfriends told me I should sleep with him a few times and that it would prob fall into a relationship and that I should talk to him about it and ask him why but now I know from what you’ve said that would never work. I don’t think friends with benefits will work I like him too much and it would break my heart to be used by him. I hope we can still be friends though. Anyway thank you for saving me from a week of tears, you’re the best!
yr clearly a bold girl ..respect,
Author:  biggus [ Tue Aug 23, 2011 11:53 am ]
Post subject: 
to be honest I would cut all contact with him, as there will always be that 'what if' in the back of your head which will fuck with you in your life meaning that he will have influence on you for a long time, personally I dont like that.

As for your stereotypical friend advice you got, that only works with mugs babe! They are the ones that are grateful for getting into a relationship, for people like him who do not give a shit it's the worst possible advice up there with 'try douse a fire with petrol'.

I bet if you hadnt emotionally attached yourself so quickly, flirted with him alot but also other guys infront of him and really teased him out to chasing you like mad, then this would be a different kettle of fish.

I dunno about the other guys, but for me it's the thrill of the chase that makes anything that comes after it far more satisfying.
Author:  safety [ Tue Aug 23, 2011 1:15 pm ]
Post subject: 
if you have any chance at making him like you... you are going to have to go away for at least a few months. cut contact as much as you can, he will probably go fuck a few girls and be annoyed at the fact that he never closed you. it would bug me. especially if it were out of the blue with no warning.
if you end up in contact again down the track play hard to get like the other guys said. but to be honest, after you dont talk to him for a couple weeks you wont miss him and move onto something better.
Author:  DJ_Z [ Tue Aug 23, 2011 4:32 pm ]
Post subject: 
Classic mistake women make: sleeping with him, fucking him, making out with him, etc. will NOT make him fall in love with you. The guy doesn't want commitment, that's not going to change. Just move on before you get hurt.
Author:  carla [ Tue Aug 23, 2011 5:03 pm ]
Post subject: 
I understand, I cant even cut contact with him because we work together, which is a bit messy.He text me lastnite with just normal chat probably cos he knows he'll have to see me in work and he doesnt want it to be awkward.
I just totally messed this up-like you guys said I was too easy. He knows he could have me now so ive lost all value. But i'll do what you have all said and leave it there, its going to be hard cos we socialise with the same people but i know you guys know what you're talking about especially when it comes to this stuff-it's the only way.
Author:  EddieFews [ Tue Aug 23, 2011 5:49 pm ]
Post subject: 
For starters, if you guys work together I think it's a terrible idea for you guys to have a relationship. It nearly not possible. Too much exposure.

And in all honesty, you probably just aren't good looking enough for him to want a relationship with you.

However once you stop wanting him, he'll come around. I've been here plenty of times. Girls that I didn't find all that attractive at first would be all over me, then once they no longer had a desire for me, I wanted them more than ever.

You just have to come to the understanding that there are plenty of guys that would like to be with you.

Nevertheless you probably take a chance and sleep with him anyway.

Good luck sweety
Author:  misselizabeth [ Tue Aug 23, 2011 5:56 pm ]
Post subject: 
Avoid him if possible without looking like you're avoiding him. When you do see him be nice but treat him like you would a girl friend. Talk about shoes, clothes, the hot guy that lives beneath you, detailed accounts about your period :lol: as if you have no attraction whatsoever and hes just joined the "friend zone". If he tries to flirt pretend not to notice and change the subject fast because he now officialy has a vagina.

I've done this quite a few times ( when trying to get rid of a guy) and it seems to have the opposite effect and makes guys chase HARD. I don't know why- Men are nuts
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