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Avoiding the "Player" Connotation?
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Author:  Jarek120 [ Mon Aug 22, 2011 8:11 pm ]
Post subject:  Avoiding the "Player" Connotation?
Hey guys, I'll keep this as short as I can, so nevermind how vague it is.

Met a girl on a Saturday, played perfect game, got her and her friend to come hang out with a friend and me at my house the following Tuesday.

Both of us were sending mixed signals, she claimed to be there to hang out with my friend, I took claim to her friend, but we were still very flirtatious with each other seemingly running game on each other.

She invites herself over on a Sunday evening but no call, no shows. See her the following Tuesday at a club where she gave me the cold shoulder at the beginning of the night - I didn't chase, just did my own thing. She approached me on the dance floor and kissed me before the end of the night. She told me she doesn't want me corrupting her friends because of who I am, when I asked who I am she replied with, "I'll tell you Friday."

We made plans to go rock climbing on Friday, everything is going according to plan, she no call no shows to rock climbing.

Once I get back home she sends me a long message, in short, saying I'm a player. I reframe the whole situation, played solid game, she ended up coming over the following night, spent the night, and I can do a lay report if I choose to do so.

I don't believe she has buyers remorse in the slightest, but she still thinks of me as a player because my friend told her I 'get with a lot of girls,' which isn't necessarily true. I'm not about to try justifying myself, I gave her the business and she's choosing my friend's words over my actions, very stubborn girl.

SO, my question to the community is, how can I avoid the 'player/pick-up artist' connotation so I can avoid her/future targets stubbornness to the whole situation?
Author:  Wawa [ Tue Aug 23, 2011 4:59 am ]
Post subject: 
If a girl every accuses you of being a player either say "I don't have an off switch, *wink* I'm all charm" or ignore her. Her accusing you of being a player is bad behavior and cannot be tolerated by you. You are under no obligation to respond or react to the accusations so just ignore it and stack forward for more DHV.
Author:  ItsAlwaysOn [ Tue Aug 23, 2011 5:09 am ]
Post subject: 
real simple. if you're talking to a girl and you're worried that you're coming off as too much of a player just casually tell a story and mention your ex-fiancee.
Author:  mens rea [ Tue Aug 23, 2011 9:57 am ]
Post subject: 
I was ready to start a new post on this myself, but am glad that you brought it up first, and the way your story unfolds just helps prove my ultimate point.

Here it is:

Despite how counter-intuitive it may be, and no matter how much a girl when asked about "player" guys may bash them, women are attracted to men who are labeled players. I have now questioned (practically interviewed) 10 girls on this subject in the last 4 months and have come to a very surprising conclusion. Women are actually physically attracted to the thought of a "player." They want to know what makes him tick.... they want to know what all the fuss is about... and last, they want to conquer him (by fucking him) and decide for themselves whether he's worth the hype. I swear to god.

The reason that girl boned you that night was likely BECAUSE she heard you are a player! I have no doubt that you are a handsome guy with good game and could've probably laid her regardless, but trust me, her hearing that women are drawn to you only helps.

Hell, maybe I should write a short story about this. ;)
Author:  N1ck9141 [ Tue Aug 23, 2011 10:18 am ]
Post subject: 
URGENT THROW AWAY THE FRIEND...

No wing will tell a girl u get "lots of girls" who the hell does he think it is!!!....

secondly, u can always use the mystery method, yea its true, im a player repeat what she says,
im a player
no yr right im a player,
im a rock climbing nice talking gentalmen player
...then laugh...
and so will she

secondly mention in a carm convo, LONG TERM RELATIONSHIPS in your past always help :)
Author:  Don Draper [ Tue Aug 23, 2011 11:41 am ]
Post subject: 
Well, you can tell her that whenever some person sees a man successfully able to behave in the right manner with women, he is labeled a "Player". Flip it back to her gender and tell her, isn't the girl who's a little adventurous when it comes to men, called a "slut" in the circles?

Basically, just make it clear to her that being a confident, charming man does not equate to being a "Player" and that term is used and was most probably coined by some jealous man or men, who were frustrated of their inability to get what they want. From women or life, whatever it may be.

If being able to make your decisions and act on them successfully makes your a player, so be it.

Blah blah blah.. you get the idea.
Author:  Jarek120 [ Tue Aug 23, 2011 4:14 pm ]
Post subject: 
Thanks guys, looks like my intuition played the situation right in the time where I needed it.

I DID let her know I just got out of a 4-year relationship this past January (which is true). And even went VERY briefly about a few creative and nice things I would do for her.

I never demonstrated lower value, I explained that amongst my circle of friends I'm the only one who actively interacts with women, my friends have somewhat of a fear over it. So to my one friend (I explained to her), it may seem like I get with a lot of women because he's seen first hand the way I interact with them, but that doesn't mean I GET any of them.

Love the, act successfully on your decisions line, Don.

Appreciate all of your advice by the way, guys.
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