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| 'Initiation Anxiety' should be a new term. https://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=99322 |
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| Author: | bp029 [ Sat Aug 20, 2011 4:18 pm ] |
| Post subject: | 'Initiation Anxiety' should be a new term. |
I'm realizing that my problem (and maybe others) is far beyond approach anxiety. It's initiating any action that has me showing interest in a woman. For instance: Eye contact - I have trouble holding eye contact for more than a second as it quickly makes me feel uncomfortable - I always shyly look away which I'm sure is a huge turnoff when I catch a woman looking. My lack of confidence definitely shows in this. If I am in a conversation with someone eye contact is no problem. Approach/opening. I have been trying HARD to get past this. I've chatted up a few women that I see regularly that work at stores that I frequent. I complimented a cute girl that works at the lunch place I go to every day on something that she was wearing but my heart was beating a mile a minute leading up to it even I knew all I was going to do was compliment and not go for any kind of close. She was really receptive to the compliment when I said it though. I've found that when I break out and say something women are almost always ready to talk. Ok so when I get the date- when it comes to complimenting or flirting I am stifled (as in I can think of things to say but can't). I also can't do any physical touching - that is a massive struggle for me. I have no issues if she touches but I struggle like a maniac to initiate touch. Once that boundry is broken though I love touching. I am great at regular conversation but constantly end up in the friend zone with the women I am really interested in. Basically I have an extreme fear of anything that will show I have a romantic/sexual interest in a woman and I'm not 100% sure why. If a woman makes an OBVIOUS first move (such as grabbing my arm and pulling me over to dance) then the game is definitely on but most of the time it's subtle hints. I can think of a bunch of times that it was obvious to make a move but I didn't over the last few months. I know I attract a fair amount of women because and usually get a few IOIs a day. I am in top shape, tall, dress well and am good looking enough so this should be a lot easier for me to do. Just venting! Anyhow I am going to continue to try to break barriers. For me this is not just about PUA but fighting lifelong demons. |
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