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Author:	1i1i1i1i1 [ Fri Aug 19, 2011 12:41 pm ]
Post subject:	need dating advice!
My GOAL: Get this girl to WANT ME to be her boyfriend. I am totally new to this, I know some of the abbreviations, methods and everything, and I hope I am using them correctly. I am what you call an AFC (Average Fucking Chump) but I want to try to not be that guy anymore, so I am asking for advice here as well, because I am coming across problems with this one particular girl. So here is the story, HB i meet from online 1ST Date She invite me to her house... First we just hangout outside by the table and we're having a cigarette, I am feeling very nervous awkward, conversation on my end is very lacking its like 80% her talking 20% me, but seems to go on rants, although I guess I tend to lead her to negative topics because It is the easiest thing to do (the negative topic seems to be her family etc) I try to play my lack of ability to contribute much to the conversation, by playing this off as the strong quiet type or indifference - I end by making myself leave, and I do not try kiss-closs but I hug her to see how receptive she is to me, seems good. 2ND Date She invites me to her house...a couple days later. Mostly the same as above She keeps talking how I remind her of her ex-husband from long long time ago Later what I gather, she seems to regret not staying with this guy and having kids She says I dress like him and act like him etc etc. We watch a movie and she is laughing i go for the make-out and shes receptive and really getting into it. 3rd Date She gets a place where we have privacy, We're watching a movie. We didn't really have isolation before. I get her all hot and horny, and she says at one point, She is a good girl, and backs me off, but I keep making her horny and at one point she takes her pants off She says something along the lines of "She can't believe that she is getting naked, and with a GUY) she is bisexual We keep making out etc etc, I get her all ready for fking and shes asking me to go inside her and well I go for the condom and she says "Is that latex?" and she says shes allergic to it, so she starts urging me to just fuck her raw well, i hesitated and well in a nutshell i ended up saying i needed to leave when it was really late - as I was leaving the driveway she says something as in "I guess things happen for a reason". So I believe i fucked this up by stopping it from escalating to a sexual relationship is this right? Anyway this is how I interpret it, so I get it into my head I have to fuck this girl yet ive still been unable the relationip has now turned different. she will ask me to come over sometimes 4 days in a row. then for 4 days I won't hear anything from her. I almost never initiate text conversations, and I never asked to see her except once. 4th meeting She has kind of friend-zoned me now but she is still responding to me when I am physical with her, Well she said she didn't want to label us anything, btw i never brought it up and now she is sending me things like "I miss you", and dramatic sexual e-mails about me and her I followed one up after that about going to see her that night, and she went cold on me and blew it off I know she also has orbiters, she has brought this up, she did this after the night i stopped the escalation into sex She is pretty much saying what she wants from me. She says she wants me to be aggressive, take-charge. She will just say these things out of the blue. This makes me think maybe I'm not dead in the water, despite the massive mistakes because she is saying what she wants to see me be, buit i may be totally wrong about that I have probably left out a whole lot, I will try to sum up what I remember -Got HB to want sex from me, but stopped the escalation into sex -After that I got friend-zoned/no-label-on-the-relationship or whatever SINCE THEN: -She is still asking me to come over repeatedly, almost all I haven't accepted because of the time and because I knew there would be no opportunity for isolation and I believe but am not sure, that sex is the key to it -She tells me what she wants from me, Aggression, Take-Charge, She will text me, send me pictures of stuff, FB me -She told me "I want to be your friend, but if you come over you will leave if you can't kiss me -texing me, FBing me, inviting me over, But shes still sending me poetic e-mails, to me about me fucking her and will call me the same nickname as when we were dating or it was supposed dating -she responds to romantic sexual innuendos but not filthy ones -I AM pursuing other women now so she must know this, her interest went up a lot when she caught wind of it\ -A lot of women, including this one call me "mysterious" which I think my shyness and lack of social skills luckily passes off for a lot of the time the last thing I did was sending her a draiwng i did of her, but I threw in some mild negs, saying she has a dorky smile and how something made me think of her so i drew her MY THOUGHTS. -I think that failure to have sex with her, I screwed it up because she would've wanted to escalate the relationship then if i didnt pressure her or felt indifferent about it -She wants me to take charge, be agressive - meaning - ? I don't know if she just wants me to "take her" or what and by take her...what does that mean, if she is pulling back Well damn this is a mess of a post, but any constructive criticism is welcome, call me a dumbass, or what not but add something constructive please, on what I could do to get this thing back on the road, or tell me if you think I fucked it up 10 years ago. i got to start somewhere

Author:	PUA Kenny [ Fri Aug 19, 2011 1:23 pm ]
Post subject:
You're lucky she gave you 4 chances. Most girls only give 1. But Im confused here. Why do you want to make this girl your gf? You claim she- just into you for sex. In fact,she's only looking for a fling,so why the hell are you even contemplating an LTR? Plus you're boring. Why would she want to be you gf? Anyway,the best and quickest way to make a girl want to be your gf is to f-close her;simple! No strategies,no routines. Just simply lay her.

Author:	1i1i1i1i1 [ Fri Aug 19, 2011 1:29 pm ]
Post subject:
No i'm not saying shes just in it for the sex, im saying I think I fucked it up because i didn't F-Close when I had her literally laying there, and how it might be possible to get back to that point? boring? what do you recommend I try?

Author:	PUA Kenny [ Fri Aug 19, 2011 1:43 pm ]
Post subject:
Well reason I said you were boring was that she's doing 80% of the chatting. Cool to be the strong-quiet type but at least have something to talk about besides negative shit like her family. I dont blame you for not f-closing her without the condom[legit reason].

Author:	1i1i1i1i1 [ Fri Aug 19, 2011 2:10 pm ]
Post subject:
after I obviously didn't fuck her without a condom because I didn't have a non-latex, she did tell me she had that shot and that shes clean like she thought I may of thought bad about her

Author:	Don Draper [ Fri Aug 19, 2011 3:18 pm ]
Post subject:
At this point you should make it clear to her that you are NOT her "friend", you are a guy who wants to "take her against the nearest wall". Yes, in as many words. That should fire her engines. If she responds positively, then say, "I am coming over to your place. We are gonna eat something you cooked and then, screw all night." She wants you to take charge. She wants you to dominate her. Enough of the confused gentleman, you're going to have to be a strong dominant, animalistic guy if you want her to respond to you. And she will. Tell her, "I'm bored of the games. I want you. Now." But remember, all of this is done subject to her frame of replies, if they are sexual, get her charged to such a degree, she will be waiting naked for you. If they aren't, change her frame to sexual and then go for it.

Author:	1i1i1i1i1 [ Fri Aug 19, 2011 3:45 pm ]
Post subject:
thanks for the replies Another mistake recently I am recalling is another time I was invited over, we were outside, there was kino. we went inside at some point, and well I sat down for whatever we were going to watch but she sat on the other sofa. I made the mistake of saying "What you don't want to sit next to me now?" and later...she mumbled something but I couldn't make it out, anyway a bit later I just said it was late and I had to go. So maybe she does only want friendship? but I think I should of handled the situation by not saying anything and being indifferent... I shouldn't of expected her to come to me? but even after that she was writing sexual/romantic type emails to me and trying to tell me what she wants so then I tried to tell her something which translated to "lets make those sexual emails a reality or lets finish where we left off (when we didnt f-close" and she seems to go cold,(this is all via Text BTW) either I think I am out from that or she doesn't want me to come over with the expectation of sex but wants it to naturally happen like it was going to the first time. i may need to just chalk it up to more learning experience but i would still like to keep going at her until im 100% sure im out. Any and all additional advice is still welcome

Author:	Don Draper [ Fri Aug 19, 2011 3:50 pm ]
Post subject:
Just listen to what I'm saying. Those naughty e-mails she sends, once you bring them up you put her in the spotlight. When you tell her that let's bring her fantasy to life, it's as if you're not interested in it, just fulfilling what she wants. Initiate the sexual frame. Look at my last post again. I cannot stress it enough. You need to be the one to initiate this line of conversation. She wants that. But, not until she believes you want that as bad as her too. Make her feel that and she'll hand herself over to you. If you are going to ask for our expertise her, you should take that to heart and mind and work on that. Rejecting it to go on the path you've been going will lead to the same outcome. We're not hacks here. Listen to our words. Good luck.

Author:	1i1i1i1i1 [ Fri Aug 19, 2011 4:13 pm ]
Post subject:
i appreciate your advice don, I just want to understand this all better, im not disagreeing with anything ---------------------------------------------------- At this point you should make it clear to her that you are NOT her "friend", you are a guy who wants to "take her against the nearest wall". ------------------------------------------------------- How do I do this without coming across as needy/desperate or that I am angry that she LJB'd me when I wouldn't fuck her? ---------------------------------------------------------------------- If she responds positively, then say, "I am coming over to your place. We are gonna eat something you cooked and then, screw all night." ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- a few days ago I told her via text "I am coming over now to make that climax a reality." didn't work, "She said not tonight, but now it will be stuck in my head" I really doubt she was busy... ---------------------------------------------------------------- But remember, all of this is done subject to her frame of replies, if they are sexual, get her charged to such a degree, she will be waiting naked for you. If they aren't, change her frame to sexual and then go for it. --------------------------------------------------------------- i need to study up on that - framing, charging anything more to offer? I am eager for the knowledge

Author:	1i1i1i1i1 [ Sat Aug 20, 2011 11:10 am ]
Post subject:
one thing I also wanted to ask is what do to if a woman is texting while your with her. my first reaction "in my head" is to just say nothing, walk to my car and leave, but i usually just totally ignore it or act like i dont care this particular one never did this before, I mean she is probably fucking someone , but either way. what would be a good way of saying I don't approve of that? t the one texting her is her baby daddy. we were cuddling so I could see the texts mostly. so it was obvious. He somehow knew I would be there with her that night, and he was saying to her that she has a fountainofdicks and something about making sure I use a condom because he will have to get sloppy seconds. All of this in the end made her go cold for me. I just pretended I didn't see these texts, but it really kind of pissed me off that she was indulging in them, her excuse, which she said without me asking was, she has to check it because its her sons father. 1-2 i am ok with, but when its like 6-7 you at that point know its not some emergency thing or legit reason to answer them. Anyway this what she told me, is she was never married to this guy and the reason she left him is because he hits her. This guy now has a new gf

Author:	Don Draper [ Sat Aug 20, 2011 11:39 am ]
Post subject:
Well, you need to make her understand that you're not bonkers for her. Sure, you are attracted to her, but that's not something that you'd write a book for. Next time she does that, get up, don't say a word, go to your car and drive away. If she asks, what's happening tell her, "Happy Texting." In the meantime, meet other women and in a subtle way, let her know that you're exploring your options too. Remember, He who loves the least, controls the relationship.

Author:	1i1i1i1i1 [ Sat Aug 20, 2011 11:58 am ]
Post subject:
---------------------------------------------------- At this point you should make it clear to her that you are NOT her "friend", you are a guy who wants to "take her against the nearest wall". ------------------------------------------------------- How do I do this without coming across as needy/desperate or that I am angry that she LJB'd me when I wouldn't fuck her? ---------------------------------------------------------------------- If she responds positively, then say, "I am coming over to your place. We are gonna eat something you cooked and then, screw all night." ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- a few days ago I told her via text "I am coming over now to make that climax a reality." didn't work, "She said not tonight, but now it will be stuck in my head" I really doubt she was busy... ---------------------------------------------------------------- But remember, all of this is done subject to her frame of replies, if they are sexual, get her charged to such a degree, she will be waiting naked for you. If they aren't, change her frame to sexual and then go for it. --------------------------------------------------------------- i need help sexually framing and charging this girl before I go see her, thru txting (when I make sexual references she says things like by aggressive i didnt mean filth, but will also say she finds it funny)

Author:	1i1i1i1i1 [ Sat Aug 20, 2011 8:02 pm ]
Post subject:
ok at this point, i texted her, with all the advice in mind I said id love to watch that movie she wanted to show me this weekend she said she wanted to watch this with me like 4 days ago) Her response Kool ill let u know whats up, going 2 a frnz party 2n. ill b the only white girl, not new just funny So I didn't want her to have the power of deciding whether we were gunna hang out tonight or tomorrow so I turned the convo but before I can respond to that she says she says: wanna come over? I say sure tomorrow is good (She wanted me to come over now but I dont want to go over if she may be going to some party after seeing me and also because I wanted to pick the time and day, and what we're doing. Then she says "I meant come over now" I pretend she doesnt say this I ask her if she cooks she says very well i say i want her to cook for me for the movie She agrees but asks if she can go shopping 2gether for the ingredients for her to cook it I say sure that sounds good, and that i will see her sunday then I say have fun at ur party tonight and ill call her tomorrow (making her wait for me to initiate the date, not her) Then she says Ok, maybe I'll text you later..... (so I think she doesn't want to wait to do this tomorrow, maybe she wants to ditch the party for me which is what would be good but i think i should keep it to tomorrow even if she asks me to come over 2nite?) ______________________________________________________ i rlly am terrible at driving the conversation to the sexual side, and it seems shes way more re-active to this in person...plus I hadn't spoken to her in 3 days, no calls, no texts, shes initiated the texts and every meeting pretty much, so I figure it was too soon to pull that yet, becuase I need to get her horny and i really am not that great at that thru texts.) So please all input is welcome

Author:	Don Draper [ Sun Aug 21, 2011 6:08 pm ]
Post subject:
Well, she's still dictating the conversation. I don't see you making head way till you change that. Why don't you try cutting her off for a few days. Maybe 4-5 days. No responding to her calls, texts or e-mails I want to see how she responds to that? After that she asks, "Where the hell were you?" you can say, "Sorry, was caught up in something. Took care of it now." If she presses to know, tell her it doesn't matter and you don't wanna talk about it.

Author:	1i1i1i1i1 [ Sun Aug 21, 2011 6:44 pm ]
Post subject:
how would you have handled that conversation? I think ill understand better. Well I'm supposed to meeting her tonight - u think i should cancel?

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