Hey guys,
So I learned something today.
I went to a party (or more like a gathering of 20 people or so), all of which were with me throughout HS and junior high.
I realized two things:
1) I'm uncomfortable around girls that I've known in junior high. No idea why.
2) I'd rather be put in a room full of girls that I don't know, and I can get a conversation flowing, which is something I can't do with the girls I already know.
Now here are 2 examples as to how fucked up I am:
1) This girl who has been in my class for 3 years through junior high came to the party. When she came up to me I PUT MY HAND FORWARD TO SHAKE HER HAND (*facepalm*). I mean, come on.......
Of course she went "no we were class mates"and gave me a hug.
2) Another ex-classmate of mine was going to leave so did he round of hugging. When reaching me, I got a wave 'cause she noticed I wasn't going for the hug. I could tell she wanted it.... no idea why I didn't do it.....
I honestly don't know why this happens. I'm not like this around all women. Only around ones I know already (with me in HS / JH), or ones I was thinking of hitting on.
One last thing: I am probably afraid of kino. No idea why. When people come, I am not one of those people that invite a hug. Of course some of them I don't know personally, but even to the ones I do I never give a hug unless someone initiates it.
Edit: This is something from another thread that fits in here-
I guess you could say I seek validation by people. But it's only from people that I already know. I wouldn't give a **** what someone I've known for an hour thinks. It's irrelevant.
I was saying this on the chat today:
When I was put in a room with women I thought I had no chance with because they were 3+ years older than me, I got hit on by 4. That's 4 more than my previous score.
I know I'm a natural. I honestly am. People around me laugh, have a good time, and work their brain a bit from time to time. But I can't seem to bring it out when with certain people. We can call it AA, or we can call it a pressure of some sort....
Another edit: What I said about it being junior high is not true. I just thought about it, and if you would've put me in with my class mates from this year, I wouldn't have felt a lot more comfortable. I guess it's because I wasn't that much into big social events like parties up to recently. Recently being the last few months.
Feel free to comment
